


Rage is a Drug

by iamthatmonster



Series: Emotions are Addicting [1]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-31
Updated: 2014-04-03
Packaged: 2018-01-17 16:56:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 33
Words: 79,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1395355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamthatmonster/pseuds/iamthatmonster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a world where the only emotions you can feel are the ones that the government wants you to feel - embarrassment and fear and frustration - illegal injections of emotion are the new kind of high. Gavin is a dealer, and Michael is addicted to rage.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Rage was a drug, and Michael was addicted. It had been months since he had gotten his last fix, and his move from Jersey to Texas had been rough. There weren’t many dealers in his new location, at least not that he knew of. The ones that he had found only sold the worst of the worst, and Michael knew better than to get desperate, as that was the reason he had moved in the first place.

His regular dealer had left town without warning, leaving Michael without a replacement. When he couldn’t find the good kind, he had gone for the closest guy he could find, which only resulted in his being escorted to a local hospital.

The police had wanted to take him into custody straight away, but the nurses insisted that he had time to recover. After taking a few days to regain his strength, Michael had simply left the building, taking the next open flight. That flight had just so happened to be to Austin, Texas.

That flight, his stupidity - that was the reason he now sat, shaking and sweating in his apartment. He had found a new dealer by sheer luck, through a friend of a friend. And he was going to see him today. His name was Gavin, and supposedly he was the best.

The minutes seemed to drag by, a single hour feeling like ten. Finally, Michael couldn’t control himself any longer, and he rushed through his front door, not even thinking to close it as he began to run towards their agreed upon location.

\-------------------

Gavin leaned against a building, arms crossed over his chest, a slight smirk on his face. He had found a new client and was ecstatic about it. Of course, an injection was required in order to feel that ecstasy, but it was more than worth it. He had talked to Michael the day before, and he had sounded desperate - one of the few emotions humans were still able to feel.

He would be willing to pay, that much was obvious.

He hadn’t bothered to ask Michael what his drug of choice happened to be, momentarily forgetting to do so in his excitement. He had a few clients, but none of them had ever appeared so eager. He wondered how long it had been since he had a fix, as only the strongest had a reaction like that. Normally, you could get through the rehabilitation period in about a month. But with the stronger ones, there was no end to the pain. It would just get worse and worse, and you would eventually realize that even death was better than that sensation.

Gavin had never experienced it, of course, though he had seen it happen to far too many people to count.

Love and pride and jealousy. Those were the most commonly distributed.

Gavin tapped his foot impatiently on the ground. He knew that it wasn’t time for their meeting yet, but he had assumed that he would be desperate enough to come early. Plus, he was ready to meet him. He had sounded interesting over the phone, and wanted to match a face to the voice.

Michael rounded the corner just as these thoughts made their way through his head, and Gavin sucked in a breath.

_Love. Definitely love._

\---------------------

Michael didn’t stop running until he was standing right in front of Gavin, panting heavily, sweating both from exertion and withdrawal.

“Hey,” he said, after he had regained his breath. He extended a hand. “I’m Michael.”

\----------------------

Gavin hoped Michael didn’t see him swallow as he took his hand. “Gavin. Pleasure to meet you.”

Michael simply stared at him for a moment, his eyes scanning his body, and Gavin felt himself tense up involuntarily. Before Michael had arrived, Gavin had injected himself with a drug of his own - one that allowed you to feel naturally. Your emotions were yours, and it was the most thrilling high he had ever experienced. It felt like flying.

But in the moment he had seen the man, he knew immediately that he had made a mistake. He had never felt so physically attracted to a person before in his life - Michael’s brown curls stuck to his forehead, and his cheeks were flushed. His brown eyes showed panic and desperation. _Yep. Definitely love._

“Are you just going to stand there?” Michael asked after a minute. “Or are you going to give me my drugs?”

Gavin felt all the blood rush to his face. “I suppose so,” he mumbled. “But first off, I don’t know what you need. I can guess, though.”

Michael glared at him, and Gavin felt chills go through his body. He didn’t know what it was about this man, but the intensity was intriguing. “Why would you say that?” he snapped, though his eyes showed that he was slightly confused, yet another emotions that the government had allowed to remain.

They wanted control, and if the people were confused, embarrassed, and self-conscious, it made it that much easier.

“Because I’m an excellent dealer,” Gavin bragged. He didn’t know why he was trying to show off, but it couldn’t be helped. The injection he had given himself was far too strong to fight.

“Go ahead then. What do I need? What’s my poison, if you will?”

“Love.”

“Excuse me?” Michael’s eyebrows shot up, then knit themselves together, once again in confusion.

“I would assume love,” Gavin muttered. But by the look on Michael’s face he had made a mistake. Of course. Just when he had tried to impress someone, he had made a complete and utter fool out of himself.

“What would make you say that?”

“Just look at you,” Gavin said, before he could stop himself. His eyes went wide, and he felt his face start to heat once more before looking down to the ground.

\---------------------

Michael looked at him, eyes wide. He also felt his face start to warm, and tried his best to hide the embarrassment. Fuck the government. If it wasn’t for them, he wouldn’t be feeling this awkward.

“You’re attractive,” he heard Gavin’s words again. “I’m sure you have some significant other that you want to feel something for.”

“I... I... No...” Michael stuttered out, shaking his head. “No significant other. I don’t want to feel love.”

Gavin’s head shot up, and he looked surprised. He smirked when he looked at Michael’s face, noticing that it was as red as his felt. “Then what do you want to feel?”

“Rage.”

\--------------------

The dealer’s jaw dropped, though he quickly shut it again. _Rage?_

Gavin had never had a client who had desired rage before. It was the strongest of all drugs, and often led to death a lot more quickly than others. That would explain his eagerness. “You sure about that, mate?”

“I’m sure. Unless I want to die, at any rate.”

“How long has it been?” Gavin asked quietly, not sure if he was overstepping his boundaries. Of course, Michael couldn’t feel anger yet, so he shouldn’t have been worrying.

“Five months.”

“Let me tell you something,” Gavin said. “That’s a long time to go without something as potent as rage, and I understand that. I feel bad for you, so I’ll let you have this first fix now. For free. But you have to let me inject you.”

“Uhh. Yeah. Sure, I guess. Sounds good. Let’s do it.”

\--------------

Michael was confused by Gavin’s request. Since when did dealers care about the people they dealt to? But he wasn’t about to refuse free rage. He just had to make sure not to blow up at Gavin as soon as he was injected.

“Could I buy more first?” he asked quickly, as Gavin was just starting to prepare the drug.

“What?”

“Could I buy a stock first? I can’t exactly control myself when I’m under the influence. I might blow up at the first person I see. That person’s going to be you. You’ll probably hate me forever, if you can even feel hate. So I need to make sure to get enough to last until I can find a new dealer.”

Gavin shook his head. “No worries. I won’t hate you.” Gavin muttered something else under his breath, but Michael wasn’t sure exactly what he said. However, it had sounded a hell of a lot like _I could never hate you._

\-----------------------

Gavin bit his tongue the minute the words left his mouth.

 _Stupid, Gavin. Stupid, stupid, stupid. You’re trying to attract him, not creep him out._ Gavin cleared his throat.

He had wanted to inject Michael himself for several reasons. The first was that he simply wanted to see what rage looked like. He didn’t think he had ever experienced it himself, even with his own blend. He had only heard about it.

And, in all honesty, it sounded hot. That was his other reason. Sure, it was selfish, but Michael was already attractive enough. The thought of yelling and screaming, and all the other things that came with rage - it was enough to make Gavin swallow hard.

He gestured to Michael, beckoning him to come forwards. He had the prepared needle in his hand. As much as he didn’t want to do this, his curiosity got the better of him. “Hold out your arm.”

Michael did so, and Gavin took his arm gently. He felt around for the vein in which he would inject it into, and once he found it, he pushed the needle in slowly. He saw Michael’s head drop back. He hadn’t even injected him yet.

\------------------------

“Please,” Michael whined, loosing all self respect momentarily. “I don’t know why you wanted to inject me yourself, but if you’re going to do it, then don’t be a tease about it. I need this. I’ve been waiting months. I don’t know how much more I can take.”

As soon as the words had left his lips, he felt the energy pulsing through his veins. His eyes snapped open, and he breathed heavily several times. Gavin pulled the needle out of his arms, causing Michael to glare at him.

“Watch it, you fuck!”

“Sorry, Michael,” the man responded, and Michael couldn’t help but notice how good his name sounded. He hadn’t so much as noticed the man’s British accent before, but that was probably because he was so busy aching for a high.

“You gonna sell me some drugs now, or what?” he snapped, completely ignoring the man’s apology.

“Sure thing,” Gavin responded, rummaging through the bag that sat on his hip.

“Hurry up, I don’t have all day!”

“Calm down.”

“Don’t tell me to calm down!” Michael almost shouted. “You’re the one that injected me with the fucking drugs in the first place! I warned you this wouldn’t be easy, but you insisted! I would have waited until I got home. Don’t fucking whine about it.”

“I only have enough for a week here,” Gavin said quietly. “People don’t generally require rage. You’re the first person I’ve ever encountered. I’ll be able to get more, but this is all I have for now.”

“Son of a bitch,” Michael muttered under his breath. “Fine. Just give it to me.” Gavin handed him the drugs, and Michael managed to reply. “Thanks.” He gave Gavin the cash he had brought with him, and watched as he counted it.

\-----------------------

Gavin noted that there wasn’t quite enough money in the stack to pay for all that Michael had bought, but he didn’t think that it mattered too much. “That’s fine,” he said. “Thank you.”

“Don’t fucking mention it. I should be thanking you.” He turned on his heel. “Not going to do that, though. You know, rage and all.”

“Of course.”

“Oh, and Gav?” Michael asked, still facing away from him.

Gavin noticed the shortened version of his name, and tried to ignore the thrill that it sent through him. “Yeah?”

“I think you’re pretty attractive too.”

And with that, he strode away, leaving Gavin behind. Even after Michael was gone, Gavin still couldn’t get him out of his mind. His face, his voice, and how he looked when he was angry.

Gavin had been right in his assumption. Michael’s rage was hot.


	2. Chapter 2

Michael managed to make it back to his apartment without a hitch, though, in all honesty, it was probably only because he didn’t run into anyone. When he Michael was on rage, he changed. The part that was the most concerning was that he didn’t mind it.

Take for example, what he had said to Gavin. It was true that he thought the man was attractive, but without the rage, he wouldn’t have been able to work up the courage to mention it. It gave him an air of confidence. It made it so that he didn’t give a fuck. And that was fine by him.

As soon as he arrived back, he noticed the open door, and he rolled his eyes. “Son of bitch. Of course,” he muttered under his breath. “I forgot to close the goddamn door. If I was fucking robbed, there’s going to be hell to pay.”

Luckily, nothing had been taken, at least not that Michael noticed in his state. As soon as he was through the front door, he slammed it behind him, sitting down on the couch.

It wasn’t enough.

He pulled the drugs out of his pocket, hesitantly, as if he wasn’t quite sure what he was doing. It had been a while, that much was certain. He didn’t want to overdose, but he needed something more. He prepared a needle, and leaned back against the couch. He dropped his head back once more as he pierced the needle into his skin.

It had always been like this for him. Just the feeling of the needle under his skin - the mere thought of the energy that would soon be flowing though him - that was another kind of pleasure in and of itself.

He bit back a moan as he paused, building himself up. _Jesus, Michael. You’re not fucking having sex. Calm down._ He took a few more deep breaths, and then pushed the drug into his arm, all at once.

The sensation made him lightheaded, and he closed his eyes, frantically attempting to not lose consciousness. Then the feeling was gone, and the rage took over.

\--------------------

“Dan?” Gavin attempted to gain the attention of his friend over the loud music blasting through their lab. “Dan!”

“Yeah?” The man walked up behind him, causing Gavin to jump. Dan raised an eyebrow. “You been doing that blend of yours lately? You’re more jumpy than normal.”

“M-maybe. What of it?”

“You only do that if you’re pining after someone, B. I know how you are.”

“I just like knowing what my true emotions for a person are,” Gavin mumbled, looking down to the ground.

“Who is it this time?”

“His name’s Michael.”

“Your new client?”

“Maybe.”

“You know I don’t care. I just want to make sure you know what you’re getting yourself into.” Dan sighed, running a hand through his hair. “What’s he addicted to?”

“Rage.”

Dan’s eyes widened, much as Gavin’s had when he had first learned of Michael’s strange choice. Then he sighed. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“What?”

“Attempting to get involved with someone like that. Especially when he can’t even show affection. He can be attracted to you, but that’s it. You know that.”

Gavin rolled his eyes. “I was actually going to ask you about that.”

\------------------------

“Fuck, fuck, FUCK!” Michael yelled at his television screen. “What the hell? I didn’t even fucking do anything! This is bullshit!” He let out a loud, irritated groan as he continued to rant at the screen in front of him. “As you bitches could probably tell, I got a new stock of rage. So I’m back at you. Lucky for me, none of you know where I live, so I shouldn’t be getting in any trouble any time soon. As long as my neighbors don’t make up their minds to call the cops.”

His mind started to travel back to Gavin, and his words began to ramble along with it. “My new dealer is actually pretty fucking hot. Sucks for you guys. You’re really missing out.” Just then, he died in the game, snapping him back into reality. “Fucking hell,” he muttered, “This game is fucking unfair. I’m done.” And with that, he shut off his equipment, making sure to save the files before doing so.

He knew that making videos on rage was probably risky, but people paid him to do it. How else was he supposed to survive? He couldn’t exactly work retail when all he wanted to do was yell at everything he saw.

\---------------------------

“Gavin, I’m not going to let you do this,” Dan stated, pulling the man in front of him away from the table. “You could hurt Michael, or, even worse, he might hurt you.”

“He wouldn’t hurt me.”

“You say that now. But even if that was true, why would you want to experiment on him?”

“It’s not experimenting!” Gavin exclaimed, jerking his arm away from Dan. “I just want to see what he thinks of me.”

“By giving him a combination of drugs that’s never been tried before. Rage and affection, B! Rage and fucking affection! Have you ever heard of two more conflicting emotions? It could be dangerous, and, in all honesty, it could probably kill him.”

“But what if it doesn’t, B? What if he likes me back? I have to try.”

Dan groaned. “I can tell that there’s not going to be any convincing you otherwise. But if something happens, you can’t blame me. And eventually you’re going to have to tell him. Or just keep paying the extra yourself.”

“I can do that,” Gavin muttered. “If it means that Michael likes me.”

\-------------------------------

That night was rough for Michael. He kept waking up in the night, injection after injection lulling him to sleep. He knew that he was using an unhealthy amount of the drug, but the minute he felt it enter his bloodstream, it was like a weight was lifted from his body. He felt in control.

He would get up, throw a few things around, then go back to bed as if nothing had ever happened.

When he woke up the following morning, his head was pounding, and he didn’t remember anything from the night before. He rubbed his temples for a moment, before throwing his body out of bed. “Damn,” he mumbled, walking over to the table beside his bed.

Sitting there were all of the bags he had used the previous night. Most were empty, and only a single one remained. He groaned out loud.

_Did I really use all that last night. Fuck, I must be going crazy. Making up for lost time, I guess. I think I’ll be okay with only one dose for today, but I’ll have to call Gav up._

The thought of that was enough to make him nervous. As he injected himself with the rage, he felt his body relax, and his mind cleared. He noted his arms were extremely scratched up and bloody - I suppose that’s what comes with trying to stick needles into your arms when you’re still half asleep.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket, as he had fallen asleep in his clothes the previous night. He opened up Gavin’s contact and stared for a minute, before finally pressing the button. Connect.

\--------------------------------

Gavin had just finished preparing the blend when his phone rang. He had been up all night, and it took a moment for him to even realize that his buzzer was even going off. He tried his best to snap himself out of his daze by blinking several times. But that didn’t work nearly as well as seeing who it was that was calling.

Michael.

It took a moment for Gavin’s surprise to register. Another injection would really help right now. He was getting a little slow. However, he managed to pick up the phone.

“Hello?”

\---------------------------------

Michael sucked in a breath as he heard Gavin’s voice on the other end of the line. Fuck, was his voice sexy. It was rough and scratchy, and he sounded like he hadn’t slept, which made it that much more attractive to Michael.

“Yeah. Gav?”

“Michael. Hey. What’s up?” His voice sounded like he was trying to hold back excitement, which made Michael grin. The rage always did bring out his cocky side.

“I need a favor.”

“What’s that?”

“I need more rage, as soon as possible.”

“Why? Did you lose it or something?” The tone in Gavin’s voice clearly showed his confusion, though he was a little slow in speaking.

“No I didn’t lose it, you fucking moron,” Michael cringed as the words left his mouth. He didn’t like that the rage was affecting him in the way that it was - causing him to to be mean to Gavin when he didn’t really want to. But he couldn’t control it.

“Jesus, Michael. No need to swear.”

“I’ll fucking swear if I want to fucking swear,” Michael responded, his face heating a little in his anger. “I’m on rage, remember? I can’t exactly control this shitty body of mine, so you’re gonna have to fucking get used to it.”

“Used to it?”

“You’re stuck with me, you bastard, whether you like it or not. And, to answer your question, I need more rage because I used it all.”

“Already?”

“Yes, already. Fuck, Gav. Keep up.”

There was a slight pause, and Michael could have punched himself for being so offensive. But there was honestly nothing he could do.

“Sure. I’ll be at our meeting place in an hour. Bring cash.”

\---------------------------

Gavin had only said an hour in order to not appear too eager. However, he was eager. Within ten minutes he was standing where they had decided to meet, drugs in hand, and a new injection in his own body.

He felt slightly guilty about what he was about to do, but he had to know. He had spent hours making sure the blend was perfect, that there would be the slightest chance of hurting Michael as possible. He had disguised the color to be similar to that of rage, which, in all honesty, wasn’t difficult.

Rage was black and affection was red.

Gavin would have felt a lot worse if he was actually controlling Michael. But he wasn’t. The drugs didn’t actually give you the emotion, contrary to popular belief. Instead, it only allowed the emotions to shine through.

Gavin started feeling awkward about showing up so early the minute he got there, but the emotion just got stronger when Michael arrived five minutes later.

\------------------------------

Fuck.

Gavin was there. Gavin wasn’t supposed to be there.

Michael considered turning around, pretending that he was someone else. However, he knew that probably wouldn’t be the best idea, as Gavin had probably already recognized him. The rage was already starting to fade away, and it was in that moment that he realized just how addicted he really was. He was getting desperate again, and his last injection had only been an hour ago.

He managed to stroll forwards, attempting to appear casual, but the sweat was already starting to break out on his forehead. However, this time, he didn’t think it was so much from withdrawal as it was from nervousness.

\--------------------------------

Gavin felt the blood rush to his cheeks as he stared at Michael. He wasn’t supposed to be here yet, he knew. Neither of them were. But yet, here they both were.

Was there a possibility that Michael had wanted to see Gavin? For a moment, the thought passed through his head, but he quickly shrugged it off. Of course not. Michael was here for his drugs, nothing more, nothing less.

If there was anything more, he would soon find out. The blend he was giving Michael made sure of that.

All of a sudden, Gavin felt confidence wash over him, and he thanked whatever gods were listening that the drug had finally kicked in.

“You’re here a little early, aren’t you mate?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. He had a slight smirk on his face. He was well aware that he looked like a prick, but it was too late to take it back. He might as well own it.

He stared straight into Michael’s eyes, watching as the flush traveled up to his cheeks. “I could say the same for you,” he muttered as a way of response.

“I’m the dealer. I can’t be late.”

“I wanted to be early. Problem?”

“Of course not.”

“So do you have it? My rage?”

Gavin sucked in a breath. “Luckily for you, I do. Kind of short notice, you know. I wasn’t expecting to hear back from you until next week. A week’s worth lasted you a day. That’s not exactly good for you.”

“You think I don’t fucking know that?” he muttered, still refusing to make eye contact. “Just sell it to me.”

“Are you gonna let me inject you again?”

\-----------------------------

Michael’s eyes snapped up as he heard the words. “Don’t you think that’s kind of fucking weird, man? It’s not normal, you know that?” However, he couldn’t prevent even more blood from rushing to his face. He couldn’t deny that he had liked Gavin injecting him - he had been so gentle, unlike Michael, who would relentlessly probe until something felt right.

“Why do you even want to, anyways?”

He studied Gavin’s voice as he stuttered a reply. “You - You’re just kind of hot when you’re on rage. Don’t know why, mate. If there’s a problem, I won’t ask again. But I’d like it a lot.”

Michael bit his lip. Then he nodded, and extended his arm. “Do it, then,” he muttered. “No complaints from me.”

\---------------------------------

Gavin already had a needle prepared, and he pulled it out of his bag.

“A little hopeful were we?” he heard Michael say with a smirk, and his face felt like it was burning. Gavin wished there was some way that you could get rid of emotions, but the ones that the government let remain were permanent.

“I suppose so,” Gavin murmured, taking Michael’s arm gently, and pressing the needle into the skin. Again, he watched as his head dropped back and a whimper escaped from his lips. It caused Gavin to straighten.

_Come on, Gavin. Focus._

Then he let the drug flow.

\---------------------------------

As soon as the emotion made it’s way into him, Michael jerked away, staring Gavin straight in the eye.

He didn’t know what it was that Gavin just gave him, but that was the best rush he had ever felt in his life. But there was something different about it as well. Something he couldn’t quite put his finger on.

\----------------------------------

“Is that good?” Gavin asked, watching Michael closely.

“Yeah,” he groaned. “Really good. LIke the fucking best high I’ve ever felt in my life.” He took a step towards Gavin, and Gavin stepped back.

“What’s up, Michael?” he asked nervously. “Do you want to buy more?”

“Fuck yes,” he said, taking step forwards. Again, Gavin backed up, until he was backed against the wall. He didn’t even try to hide his blush as he stared at Michael.

“How much do you need?”

“God, you’re fucking sexy. Did you know that? You accent. It’s so hot.”

“Michael?”

By now, the man was standing right in front of him, their bodies almost touching. Michael stared up at Gavin for a second, before reaching up and kissing him hard, sliding his hands into his hair and tugging at it harshly.

Gavin kissed back, closing his eyes, and allowing his world to become only Michael.


	3. Chapter 3

Michael didn’t know what was happening. He allowed his eyes to drop closed as he continued to kiss Gavin, but inside, he was ultimately confused. Why was he acting like this? It was almost as if he couldn’t control his own actions. As if the emotions that had been hidden inside his body had suddenly been released.

He didn’t regret it. Not at all. In fact, he was glad that he was capable of feeling something more than a gentle spark.

There had been the slightest hesitation in the back of his mind when he had made his move, but when Gavin began to kiss back, almost immediately, that doubt had left him. He hadn’t made a harsh decision. It had been rational, and it seemed that Gavin liked him as well.

\---------------------------

Gavin hadn’t expected his plan to work as well as it did. He had expected Michael to be extremely hesitant, worrying about everything, and perhaps the slightest bit embarrassed. But it must have been something about the blend that made him different.

This version of Michael was foreign, and, judging by the confused look on his face, it was new to him as well. This Michael was dominate, and damn, was it attractive. Gavin felt Michael’s tongue sweeping across his lower lip, and he immediately allowed him access, pressing himself closer. He placed his hands on Michael’s back, right against his shoulder blades, causing Michael to moan slightly.

Then he pulled away suddenly, his face slightly pink. Gavin pouted at him. “Why’d you stop?” he asked, though he knew that his own face was probably much more red than Michael’s. Just the meeting of their lips had sent a shock through Gavin; one that he wasn’t too keen to admit. He had just met the man, after all.

\----------------------------

“Not sure,” Michael muttered, almost angry at himself for cutting off their kiss in the first place. Why had he stopped? There wasn’t really anything in particular that had turned him off. In fact, it was quite the opposite. Gavin was amazing, and the thought that he had just kissed him brought even more heat to his body. “I guess I just wanted to cut us off before things went too far.”

Gavin let out a bit of a giggle, causing Michael to stiffen. “I don’t mind.”

Michael swallowed hard and shook his head. “Not right now. I do actually need my rage though. The one injection isn’t going to last.”

Gavin bit his lip and handed the drugs to Michael, and Michael handed him the money. He had enough money this time; he had noticed last time that he hadn’t paid the full amount. However, Gavin had accepted it anyways. It had confused him.

“Alright,” Gavin said, after a minute of simply staring at Michael. “I guess I can go. I don’t mean to make things awkward.” He turned, and began to walk away.

“No!” Michael said quickly, stepping forwards and catching Gavin’s arm. “I don’t want you to go. At least - not unless you want to. I was actually going out drinking.” He jerked a thumb over his shoulder. “Not really the smartest idea when you’re on rage, but I know of a place. You can come if you want.”

\-------------------------------

It took everything inside of Gavin to keep his calm. Was Michael seriously asking him to hang out? After he had kissed him? He didn’t know what his motives were, but he was ready to find out.

“Okay,” Gavin murmured. “I think I like that idea. Just let me call my friend. Let him know where I’m going, yeah?”

Gavin saw Michael’s face drop. “He’s not your... boyfriend is he?”

“No. Of course not, you pleb. I wouldn’t have kissed you if he was. Dan’s just a really good friend.” He looked at him hesitantly. “You’re okay with that, right?”

“Of course,” Michael exclaimed. “Plus, you shouldn’t have to make sure I’m okay with things. I’m just a customer.”

_Right. Just a customer._ For a minute, Gavin was disappointed, though he didn’t know why he was wishing for anything more. Just because there was a physical attraction didn’t mean there was an emotional one. The drugs affected the way you acted. Even if Michael thought Gavin was physically attractive, that didn’t mean that he actually wanted to be in a relationship with him.

That thought weighed rather heavily on his mind, and he knew that his face was probably becoming more depressed by the second. Michael would be able to tell that something was wrong.

“Excuse me then, mate. I’ll be right back.” And, with that, he turned on his heel and walked quickly away from Michael, trying to ignore the tears that were threatening to spill over. Stop being such a crybaby, Gavin. You don’t want Michael to think badly of you.

\-----------------------------------

Michael watched Gavin walk away, and for a moment, he felt bad for him. He had looked rather downcast, though he couldn’t for the life of him figure out what was wrong. He wanted to ask him, but felt as if that would be too invasive.

And so he stood, hands awkwardly placed in his pockets, shuffling his feet. He couldn’t think of anything better to do anyways.

\------------------------------------

“B?”

“Hey Gavin. What’s up?”

“I’m here with Michael.”

“Okay. What of it?” The other man’s voice sounded confused, as if he was trying to determine exactly why Gavin was calling. He couldn’t be blamed, really.

“I gave him the blend.”

“And? Is he still alive?”

Gavin hesitated slightly, trying to decide whether or not to tell Dan about how Michael had kissed him. He decided against it.

“Gav?” He heard Dan’s inquisitive voice from the other end of the phone. “You didn’t kill him right? Please tell me I was wrong. This is the one time I would appreciate it.”

“You were wrong.”

“Thank God,” Dan said, breathing a sigh of relief. “So what’s up? Why are you calling?”

“Well, when I injected Michael with the blend -”

“You injected him yourself?”

“I wanted immediate results.”

“And you wanted to touch him. Don’t fucking lie to me.”

“Okay, fine. That might have had something to do with it. Anyways, when I did, he got this really strange rush of confidence. And he asked me to go out with him for bevs.”

“So you’re telling me that you won’t be back until tomorrow.”

“Dan!” Gavin exclaimed, and he felt his hands grow clammy as the thought passed through his mind. “It’s not like that.”

“Sure,” Dan said, putting special emphasis on the word. “Of course it’s not. But that’s fine. If you’re not back, I’ll know where you are.” Gavin could feel the smirk in his tone, but he willed himself not to mention it.

“Thanks B.”

\-------------------------------

Gavin returned a few minutes later, a giant grin plastered across his face. “It’s all set. I told Dan I didn’t know when I’d get back. I’ll talk to him about it later.”

Internally, Michael wished that Gavin would never go back home. However, he realized that it was a little early in their acquaintance to be thinking things like that. _Come on, Michael. Take this one step at a time. First off is to just look at him. Fuck. That didn’t work. That just makes me more nervous._

The thoughts were flying through Michael’s head at a mile a minute, and it was near impossible for him to put a reign on them. However, he finally managed to stammer out a few words. “C - cool. Let’s go.”

\---------------------------------

Gavin couldn’t help but smile as Michael tried to choke out the words. He did like the dominant side of him, but when he was all flustered, he was adorable.

“What are you fucking looking at?” he heard Michael mutter, refusing to make eye contact with him.

“You, of course. You’re adorable when you don’t know what to say.”

“Shut up.”

“Make me.”  Michael’s eyes flicked up to Gavin’s for a second, and he saw his body tense. He looked as if he was considering something, then he just shook his head. A slight amount of disappointment overtook Gavin, but he tried his best to shake it off. It wasn’t worth getting upset over.

That was when he grabbed Gavin's hand, intertwining their fingers. For a minute, he stiffened. However, it didn’t take Gavin long to relax into the other man, letting him pull him along, towards what he assumed would be a bar with a lot of other people on emotions.

\----------------------------

Michael didn’t know what possessed him to grab Michael’s hand. It wasn’t that he didn’t like it. In fact, he quite enjoyed the feeling of Gavin’s skin against his own. But where the confidence had come from, he was yet to find out.

Before long, they were at the entrance of his favorite bar. The man at the front entrance looked at him with a wide grin. “Michael!” He exclaimed, slapping him hard on the back. “It’s good to see you again! It’s been ages.”

“Yeah,” Michael muttered. “Fucking good to see you too.”

“Hmm. Didn’t remember you as much of one to swear.” His eyes flicked down to Gavin’s hand in his, but said nothing. Gavin immediately went red and pulled away, twisting his hands together and looking down at the ground. God, he was adorable. _I wonder what drug he’s on_ , Michael thought for a moment before turning back to the man in front of him.

“This is Gavin,” he said simply.

“Your boyfriend?”

“No.” _Not yet, at least._

“Who is he, then? Can we trust him?”

“He’s my dealer.”

The man’s eyes grew wide. “You got your rage back?”

“Yep.”

For a minute, no more words were said, and the quiet became almost deafening. However, the man gestured inside. “Go ahead. I’m trusting your judgment here.” He paused, seemingly considering something. “And Michael?”

“What?”

“Don’t get into any trouble.”

“If I get into any fights, it was their fault. That’s the best I can do.”

\------------------------------

Gavin sucked in a breath as he walked through the doors, and he felt Michael steering him towards some tables, and he allowed himself to be led along with him. He sat down at a table, and Michael sat down across from him.

They stared at each other for a moment, before Michael shook his head and got to his feet. “I’ll go get us our drinks, alright?” he yelled above the noise, and Gavin nodded, trying not to think of how attractive his voice was.

In a matter of seconds, Michael had been completely enveloped into the crowd, and Gavin was alone. As the minutes passed by, Gavin’s mind began to wander. He had never exactly fit into a place like this.

Sure, he was a dealer, but he never thought that he had fit into that world. He had only found himself there because Dan had talked him into it. In reality, when he was allowed to feel, he was much too sensitive to find himself in a situation where he was basically killing people every day, but he didn’t know where else to go.

Plus, he needed the drugs for himself.

Gavin had rested his head in his hands as he waited for Michael’s return, but soon he felt a presence slip into the chair in front of him, and he lifted his head. However, it wasn’t Michael sitting there, but rather, another man.

He was taller than even Gavin, and he seemed extremely well built. “You here by yourself, hon?” he asked, shooting a smile in his direction.

“Actually, no,” Gavin muttered. “I’m waiting for someone.”

“And he’s British. That’s kind of hot.”

“I can’t really be bothered to talk to you right now, mate. Like I said. I’m waiting for someone.”

“Well, I’m sure I could give you so much more than they could.”

\-------------------------------

Michael was returning to the table with drinks for both him and Gavin, when he stopped dead in his tracks. Another man was sitting at the table with Gavin, and he could tell that he was flirting with him, just by the looks he was giving him.

Though he couldn’t see Gavin’s face, that didn’t matter to him. Gavin was here with Michael, not this guy. And Michael didn’t appreciate it. He felt the rage starting to build in him. Gavin had managed to get him to relax, but this guy was really pissing him off. And he wasn’t going to stand for it.  
Michael stormed over to the table, slamming the beer he had bought down on the table. “What’s going on here?” he asked, shooting daggers with his eyes at the other man.

Gavin had jumped when Michael had arrived, and was now glancing at him with a worried, guilty expression. He’d deal with him later.

“Come on, Gav,” the man said, looking at Gavin. “Was this the guy you were telling me about? You can do so much better than him.”

“Do you want to fucking say that to my face?” Michael shouted, his hands clenching into fists. Gavin was looking at him, and biting his lip. Michael remembered Gavin saying that his rage was hot, but that didn’t really matter right now.

The man got to his feet, and by this point, a small crowd had gathered. “Actually, yes. Gavin can do so much better than you,” he said, putting a finger on his chest, shoving him backwards slightly.

Michael stepped forwards, planting his feet and shoving at the other man’s chest. “I don’t want to have to do this unless I fucking have to, you son of a bitch. I’m going to give you once chance at surrender. One fucking chance. Then you’re out.”

“Might as well come at me, then,” the man said with a smirk. “I’m not scared of you.”

That was all the motivation Michael needed. He tackled him to the ground, and began to wail on him.

\-------------------------------

Gavin watched all that was happening with an awe filled expression. He knew that none of this was good; Michael had attacked a perfectly innocent man for simply talking to someone.

But the fact that it was Gavin he was fighting for made his heart swell. Maybe he did care about him, if he got jealous so easily. However, he couldn’t just let Michael abuse a random person. It just wasn’t in him.

“Michael?” he said softly, hoping to catch the man’s attention.

\--------------------------------

As soon as Michael heard Gavin’s voice, he froze. He had forgotten that Gavin was even there in the first place, and he felt his face grow red from embarrassment. He was supposed to be making a good impression on Gavin, not making him scared of him. However, his jealousy soon overtook his concern.

Michael got off of the man, who was still groaning from the many hits he had taken. “You don’t fucking mess with someone from Jersey,” he hissed, before grabbing Gavin’s hand and jerking him to his feet, pulling him along with him and into a hallway.

“I’m sorry Gav,” he muttered under his breath when they were finally alone. “I don’t know what came over me. It was this rage. I can’t control it.”

“You can control it when you’re around me,” Gavin murmured, putting a hand up to his face, and gently running his fingers across his cheek. “But it’s okay. I kind of thought it was hot. I know I shouldn’t. But it really was. Hot as hell.”

“I shouldn’t have done it though -”

“It doesn’t matter. But Jesus, Michael. You’re acting like we’re together.”

“We could be,” Michael muttered softly, looking down at the ground. The space between their bodies was mere centimeters now, and Michael wanted nothing more than to push himself up against Gavin. But he didn’t want to scare him off.

Luckily for him, Gavin made the first move. He grabbed the back of Michael’s neck and pulled him forwards, pressing his lips to his. Michael returned what he gave, the kiss becoming hungrier and more intense as time went on.

Eventually, they broke apart. “Fuck,” Michael muttered, trying to catch his breath. “You’re fucking good at that.”

“I could say the same about you.”

Michael swallowed hard. “I don’t like other people flirting with you, Gav.”

“And I don’t like anyone flirting with me but you.”

Okay. Fuck. Now you just have to find words to say, Michael. “Fuck.” _Wrong. Wrong. So wrong._ He could have slapped himself. “I - I kind of want to get out of here,” Michael finally managed to say. “It’s kind of late, so you could just come back to my place instead of going home. You know. If you want.”


	4. Chapter 4

As soon as Gavin heard the words, he knew what his answer was going to be. He didn’t want to appear too energetic about the prospect, but there wasn’t much getting around it. He bit his lip and nodded, perhaps a bit too eagerly. “Yeah!” he exclaimed. “I mean... yes. That would be great.”

\----------------------------

Michael grinned as he noted the man’s excitement. “Good,” he murmured. “I was hoping you would say that.” For a moment, he paused, just looking at the happiness on Gavin’s face. He liked knowing that he was the one that had put that emotion there.

“But -” he started. Gavin interrupted him.

“But?” His face looked disappointed, like he had let him down somehow. He quickly shook his head.

“No, no. I want you to come. But don’t you have to call that - Dan guy?”

Gavin’s face flushed bright red, and Michael had to try hard to suppress a smile. “No,” he heard Gavin respond, almost not loud enough to be heard.

“Why not?”

“Because he - he said that he wasn’t expecting me back.” He turned an even brighter shade of red before tightening his grip on Michael's hair, causing the man to have to hold back a moan. “I don’t do this a lot though, I swear.”

“No,” Michael responded, shaking his head. But he still chuckled. “I know how friends can be. Jumping to conclusions and all that shit.”

Gavin nodded, and Michael just smiled.

“Hey Gav?” he asked a moment later.

“Hmm?” The man was running his hands through Michael’s hair as he stared at him, playing with the curls near the nape of his neck. The feeling caused Michael to stiffen, biting his lip once more.

“What kind of drug are you on?” He knew that he was being abrupt, so he tried to soften the blow a bit. “If you don’t want to tell me, I completely understand. But I can tell you’re on something. You show far too much emotion for someone who doesn’t feel anything.

Gavin bit his lip once more, and Michael tried his hardest to resist kissing him. He didn’t think the other man knew just how attractive he was when he did that. Eventually, he would tell him, but right now he just wanted to focus on the situation at hand.

“It’s a special blend,” Gavin said, after long last. “I specialize in mixing emotions together, making people feel multiple things at once. Basically, it’s a safer way of taking multiple emotions.”

“What’s in the blend?” Michael prompted, winding his arms around Gavin’s waist, and pulling him a bit closer to him. “Again, I don’t care if you don’t want to tell me. It’s fine either way.”

“It lets me feel naturally. However I would normally respond, without the government’s control.”

Michael looked up at him in awe. “That’s possible? I didn’t know that.”

\----------------------------

Gavin shrugged, looking down at Michael. He was glad that he had been closer to the man, because there was something about him that just radiated safety. Even when he was on rage, he was protective.

The feeling of Michael’s hair in his hands was just that much more soothing.

“Most people don’t realize it,” he said softly. “It’s my own recipe. I’ve never let anyone else use it; it’s more of an experiment than anything.”

Michael was still staring at him with a shocked expression on his face, causing him to blush. Gavin hoped that the darkness of the hallway would mask his embarrassment, but he didn’t count on it.

Suddenly, the expression on Michael’s face changed, and he was speaking again. “So that means that you’re naturally this hot?”

“I guess so.”

Michael chuckled, and the sound caused Gavin’s heart to race. However, he willed himself to calm himself, and ran his hands from Michael’s neck and down to his shoulders. He leant in and gave Michael a gentle peck on the lips before sliding his hands down his arms and catching his hands in his.

“So are we gonna get out of here or what?”

\--------------------------------

“Or what?” Michael responded, but he smiled gently, hoping to let the other man know he was joking. Gavin giggled, and Michael knew his message had been received. He stepped away from him slightly, keeping one of his hands still in his. Then he dragged him back out into the main area of the bar.

The man that he had fought earlier sat on a barstool with his head in his hands, and Michael had the urge to taunt him. However, Gavin tugged on his hand, gesturing with his head towards the door.

Michael sighed. Gavin was right. But that didn’t make it any easier to walk away. The only thing that made it worth it in his mind was the fact that he was going home with Gavin, and the other man wasn’t.

A few people shot them some hesitant looks as they approached the doorway, but Michael just retaliated by sticking up his middle finger and storming away. He knew that it was immature, but it was the rage talking. Not him.

\----------------------------

Gavin let himself be dragged along, though where to, he hadn’t the slightest idea. Soon enough they were out the door, and Michael was dragging him through many alleys, twisting and turning until they finally arrived at a set of apartment buildings.

“This is it,” he said, shrugging. “I know it’s not much, but I hope it’s okay.” He looked to Gavin, a hesitant look on his face. Gavin broke into a wide smile and nodded.

“Of course it’s fine,” he replied enthusiastically. “And even if it wasn’t, I wouldn’t be so rude as to voice it.”

“Good. Come on then,” he pulled Gavin along once more, and this time he was a bit more insistent. Michael fumbled with the key slightly before putting it into the lock. Gavin couldn’t help but wonder why he was having so much trouble when he hadn’t even had anything to drink yet. Then a thought crossed his mind, and he grinned.

“A bit nervous there?”

\--------------------------------

Michael froze dead in his tracks. Fuck. Had he been that obvious? Just then, the key made it’s way into the lock. He breathed a sigh of relief and opened the door, flicking on the lights as he entered.”

“Fuck you, Gav.”

“Gladly.”

Michael wasn’t facing the man, but he felt his own body tense up. He knew that Gavin was just looking for a reaction out of him. Perhaps trying to judge how he would respond. So he decided to beat him at his own game.

“Might not want to talk like that,” he said, walking into the kitchen and leaving Gavin behind him, standing awkwardly, hands in his pockets. “I might be forced to jump you.”

“I wouldn’t mind.”

Fuck. Come on, Michael. Calm down. You just have an extremely attractive man in your entryway, practically asking you to have sex with him. He could have punched himself. He had only made it worse for himself, and he knew it.

Michael grabbed two beers out of his fridge, and swallowed hard, joining Gavin back in the entryway. He handed one to the other man, then made his way over to the couch. “Make yourself comfortable.”

\------------------------------

Gavin could tell that his words were having some affect on the man, based simply on the way his body had tensed, and he had to choke out his words. If that was the case, he wasn’t going to have to try too much harder.

He sat down on the couch beside Michael, a bit closer than two men who were “just friends” would. He could see the man beside him stiffen slightly, then relax, leaning slightly towards him in the process.

“So I had a kind of idea,” Michael said slowly. “I do this thing. On the internet. You know. I make videos where I play video games when I’m on rage. I basically just bitch at the screen for as long as fucking possible, and people watch them. Would you - would you want to be in one with me?”

Gavin looked at him for a moment, before nodding. He wasn’t going to push Michael into doing anything he was uncomfortable with, and if he just wanted to play video games, then he sure as hell wasn’t going to tell him otherwise. Anything he was doing with Michael was more than enough for him.

\---------------------------------

“Goddamnit Gavin!” Michael yelled as the man spilled yet more beer onto the floor, and onto his own jeans. “You’re fucking cleaning that up!"

Gavin burst into a fit of giggles, and Michael couldn’t help a small smile from breaking across his face. “Sorry Michael,” he said in between bouts of laughter. “I didn’t mean to, I swear.”

“Fucking hell, Gav,” Michael said, shaking his head and turning back to the game. “You fucking suck at this game.”

“I told you I wasn’t good at games, Michael,” the man whined, and Michael swallowed. The more alcohol he consumed, the more and more attracted he seemed to become to Gavin. However, the game itself was still frustrating him.

Another player killed him, and he started to scream, as was his custom. “Son of a bitch! What the hell! That was such a fucking cheap shot! I could have done something like that when I was fucking five!” Gavin was staring at him again, but he tried not to acknowledge him.

“You know what? No! Fuck you!” he exclaimed as the same person killed him once more. “You’re a sick bastard, and I hate you. You fucking suck.” And with that, he exited out of the game, crossing his arms over his chest, and going to save the game.

He heard Gavin explode into giggles behind him, and he forced an annoyed expression onto his face. “What is it, Gavin?”

“You! Do you always do that? Scream at the television.”

“It’s kind of my fucking job, yeah.”

He stared at Gavin’s face as the man seemed to consider it, then he finally nodded. Then he beckoned Michael to come over to him, and Michael sighed, complying, and sat next to the man on the couch.

\--------------------------------

Gavin leaned towards the man, and, even in his compromised state, he realized what he was doing. “I think I really like you, Michael,” he whispered into his ear.

“Fuck. I like you too, Gav.”

“I wanted to ask you something.”

“What?”

“It’s getting about the time when I need another injection. I’ve never let anyone else do it before. But I want you to inject me. Would you do that for me?”

He heard Michael’s ragged breaths close to his face, and he smiled as the man nodded. “Yeah,” he breathed. “But there’s an exception.”

“What’s that?”

“You have to inject me too. At the same time.”

“I can do that.”

\------------------------------------

The men sat cross legged on the couch, facing each other. Gavin scooted a bit closer to him, so that his knees were practically on top of Michael’s own. He took his arm gingerly in his hand, and the needle pierced into his skin gently.

Michael’s head dropped back, once more of it’s own accord.

“Ah, ah, Michael,” he heard the other man scolding. “You have to do me too, remember. That was part of our deal.”

Michael meant to respond, but all he could do was moan in response. His face immediately flushed, and he was glad that they had turned out most of the lights a while ago. However, he managed to lift his head up enough to see a smirk on Gavin’s face.

“Do the needles turn you on, love?”

“Not the needles, so much,” Michael managed to stammer out, trying to ignore that Gavin had called him love, but failing miserable. He took Gavin’s arm and located the vein. Then he pushed it into the skin and felt Gavin stiffen. He hoped to God that he hadn’t hurt him. “Just the feeling I know is coming.”

“Well alright then. Let’s do it. In three. Two. One.”

\--------------------------------------

The sensation flooded over the both of them simultaneously, and the needles that had been in their arms mere moments before clattered to the ground, jerking roughly out of their skin.

Gavin hissed at the sharp pain that overtook the area and clamped a hand over the wound. But the high he was feeling made it so much better. He looked back over at Michael, who, mere moments before had been little more than a man desperate for a fix.

But Gavin saw the familiar gleam in his eyes, and it sent a thrill through him. I guess some good is coming out of Michael’s blend after all, he thought to himself as he stared Michael straight in the eyes.

\--------------------------------------

Michael wished he knew what it was that came over him when he took the rage that made him so attracted to Gavin. He assumed it was just a side effect. A very appreciated side effect, if he was being completely honest.

“Hey Gav,” he muttered, inching closer to him. His eyes traveled down to where the man was still clamping his hand to his arm, and he took his hand gently in his, pulling it away. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” the man responded, almost in a whisper. “I’m fine.”

“You looked like you were in pain.”

“Maybe a little bit. But nothing I can’t handle.”

“I could help distract you.”

\---------------------------------------

Gavin swallowed heavily as he heard Michael’s words. Was he really saying what Gavin thought he was? There was only one way to find out. “I think I’d like that.”

Michael smirked slightly, and before Gavin even knew what was happening, the man had lurched forwards, crashing their lips together. It was hard, and desperate, and within a few moments, Michael was licking at Gavin’s lips, silently begging him to open them. Gavin complied, and Michael plunged his tongue inside.

Gavin allowed Michael to dominate the kiss, moaning into Michael’s mouth as he deepened it, putting his hands on his back. Michael twisted his hands into Gavin’s hair, tugging roughly, and Gavin moaned again. God, he loved dominate Michael.

After a minute, Michael moved his hands to Gavin’s shoulders, pushing him down gently onto his back. Michael straddled him, continuing to kiss him deeper and harder by the minute.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's sex in this chapter, and I figured I should make a note of it. You can skip the chapters with sex if you wish, as the story still works without them, but there will be a lot of smut in the future as well.

Michael knew he wasn’t completely all the way there when he started kissing Gavin, but he didn’t regret it for a moment. Had Gavin shown the slightest amount of hesitance, he would have stopped immediately. He wasn’t so intoxicated that he couldn’t control himself, even if he wanted nothing more than to rip both their clothes off right then and there.

However, he decided to take it slow, though he was still rough, and continued to run his tongue along every inch of Gavin’s mouth, exploring the unfamiliar territory. The fact that the man beneath him was so submissive to his touches sent thrills through his body, and again he struggled to control himself.

When Gavin lifted his hands to the back of his head, pulling him even more on top of him, and jerking on his hair, Michael let a low groan escape. He had been trying his best to keep his noises under wraps, but he was definitely a sucker for aggressiveness, and he couldn’t help it.

\-------------------------

Gavin smiled slightly into Michael’s mouth as he heard the noise escape him, and he tugged on his hair just that much more, knowing how much enjoyment the other man got out of it.

For a moment, they didn’t go much further, but it wasn’t long before Michael was grinding down into Gavin, causing him to to let out a choked gasp. He had been trying his very best to control himself as well, but the friction that was being created by their bodies grinding against each other was enough to make Gavin close his eyes tightly, whimpering slightly from the sensation.

He managed to open his eyes for long enough to see Michael pull his shirt over his head, looking down at him with blown pupils and a smirk playing across his lips. He leant down and tucked his face into Gavin’s neck. “Is this okay?” Michael asked, the warmth of his breath sending chills throughout Gavin’s entire body. “I’m not going too fast, am I?”

“Oh God no.”

\----------------------------

Michael couldn’t constrain the smile that broke across his face as he moved over to kiss the man’s lips once more, working his hands down to Gavin’s hips, and then working slightly underneath his shirt. Michael could feel him arching into the touch, and he gladly complied, moving his hands fluidly up and down Gavin’s sides as he continued to kiss him, a bit more deeply now.

He pulled away for a moment, but only to pull the shirt over Gavin’s head, then immediately reconnected their lips. He moved his hands over every inch of Gavin’s chest and upper arms, resting them on his biceps for a moment, before pulling away from his lips and starting to kiss his neck.

He worked gently at first, but when Gavin turned his head in order to give Michael better access, he didn’t hold back. He bit the skin gently, and began to suck, wanting to mark him with something that others would be able to see. Something that would tell them to back off.

\-----------------------------

As soon as Michael began to move down to his neck, Gavin knew he was done for. He moved closer to Michael, grabbing at his hips and began to move his own against him, grinding their crotches against each other, making Michael moan against his neck.

Michael picked up his head and smiled lazily down at him. “A little eager, are we?”

“Fuck yes,” Gavin breathed.

Michael chuckled, and, much as had happened earlier, the sound caused Gavin to stiffen. The concept that he was the cause of that was almost too much for him to bear. Michael began to grind down on him a bit harder now, causing Gavin to fling an arm over his face and buck his hips up into him.

He felt a hand pulling his arm away from his face, and heat rushed to his face, causing him to feel even warmer than he already did. “Don’t cover your face Gav,” he heard Michael’s voice say, perhaps a bit more gently than he had been speaking before. “I like being able to see you.”

Gavin knew that it was almost impossible for him to hide his embarrassment from Michael, so he settled for simply nodding, not being able to think of any words to say.

\-----------------------------

Michael chuckled once more as he saw the flush creep to Gavin’s cheeks, and he ran his fingers over the color. “Come on,” he said quietly, catching his lips in a chaste kiss, though the rest of their actions were far from chaste. “I’m not that horrible to be around, am I?” He faked a pout at the man below him.

He could have laughed at how quickly Gavin shook his head, but he figured that might ruin the mood. And considering how desperate he was right now, that was the last thing he wanted to do. He rested his head on Gavin’s chest as he worked his hands down to his jeans, fingers slipping underneath the waistband.

“Can I?”

“Please.”

Michael immediately responded to the man’s words, working at the button and unzipping the zipper, pushing them down as best he could. He felt Gavin’s hands on his own waist, and buried his face that much further into the man’s chest as he worked at Michael’s own pants, pushing them down in turn.

He hadn’t realized just how painful his jeans were until that moment, and he sat up just enough to pull them off completely, helping Gavin along as well.

\--------------------------------

There wasn’t a doubt in Gavin’s mind that this was what he wanted, but that didn’t stop him from getting the slightest bit nervous. He had liked Michael since the very first time he had heard his voice, though, in all honestly, that wasn’t a long time ago. But it felt like a lifetime.

As soon as both of their jeans had been removed, Michael was back on top of him again, moving down his chest, leaving marks that Gavin knew would still be visible in the morning. Normally he didn’t like it when people marked him, but this was Michael, and he wanted this.

He wanted other people to know what Michael had done to him, and for the first time, the thought didn’t embarrass him. So when he pulled Michael up to kiss him desperately, there wasn’t even a bit of hesitance.

\--------------------------------------

Michael gasped as he was pulled to the other’s lips, causing their barely clothed erections to meet. The friction was almost too much for him to bear, but he was able to break away long enough to gasp out a few words.

“Come on, Gav. We can’t do this here. My room. Now.”

He sat up slowly, not really wanting to leave Gavin’s body, but the knowledge that it would be so much better in the long run prompting him on. He got to his feet, grabbing Gavin by the hand and pulling him along with him, almost tripping over his own feet on the way to his bedroom.

“Now you’re the eager one,” he heard Gavin chuckle behind him.

“Shut up,” he said, though his tone was affectionate.

\---------------------------------------

The man giggled slightly as he heard Michael’s response. “Sorry Michael,” he said in a low tone, as he noticed earlier on how much the other man had liked it when he said his name. He didn’t know what it was about it, but he was more than happy to comply.

In a matter of seconds they were at the door to Michael’s bedroom, and he had been thrown inside, Michael pushing him roughly onto his back on the bed and practically pouncing on him, starting to kiss him again, and pushing his hips down that much quicker. Gavin moaned at the sensation, and he felt himself growing almost impossibly hard.

This entire thing had been turning him on a lot more than he cared to admit, but he knew that Michael could feel just what he was doing to him. “Michael, please,” he begged, though he didn’t quite know what he was asking for. He just hoped that Michael would continue.

\--------------------------------

A playful smirk tugged at the corners of Michael’s mouth as he heard the words escape the man under him. He ground his hips down a bit harder and leant down to whisper in Gavin’s ear. “Please what?” he asked in a low tone.

“Please,” Gavin whimpered again. “If you want to take this much further, you’re going to have to start now. I don’t know how much longer I can take.” He spoke in between gasps and moans, and seemed to be trying for air.

Michael stopped grinding his hips immediately, and began to gently kiss Gavin’s neck. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t know it was having that much of an effect on you.” This, of course, was a lie. He could feel just how hard Gavin was, and he wasn’t too far off from being the same.

He moved his hand down to Gavin’s crotch, stroking him slowly over his boxers. Gavin moaned loudly, and Michael grinned. “Did you want something?”

\----------------------------------

“Michael, please,” Gavin whimpered again. “Can we please not do this? Can you just fuck me, or whatever the hell you’re planning on doing? Because I would greatly appreciate it."

He didn’t like begging, it made him extremely uncomfortable. That was as close as he was going to get.

\---------------------------------

Michael chuckled at the man’s words. “Is that what you want me to do?” he asked. “Do you want me to fuck you?”

“God, yes.”

“I can do that.”

Michael rolled off of Gavin the slightest bit, causing him to whimper and grab at his hips, pulling him back into him. Michael chuckled. “Do you want to use lube, or not? Because I have to fucking get it.”

His smile just grew wider as he saw Gavin’s face go completely red, sheepishly releasing his grip on Michael’s hips, and turning his head away from him. Shaking his own head, Michael leaned over to his bedside table, rummaging around in the door. “It’s fucking here somewhere,” he muttered under his breath before finally finding it, grasping the bottle and pulling it out.

Victorious, he returned to Gavin. “Got it,” he whispered into his ear, and he felt his cock twitch at the shiver and whimper that went through Gavin.

\------------------------------

“Then can you please get on with it?”

He heard the other man laugh once more, and he felt the slightest bit embarrassed at his own impatience. But he couldn’t help it, and he knew that Michael was just as hard as he was.

He tried to stare Michael straight in the eyes as he began to move his palm against his boxers, but he soon became lost in pleasure, rutting his hips up into him. “God, Michael,” he gasped out. “Are you trying to make me come already?”

“Maybe,” Michael responded with a wink. “Perhaps I just want to see how good you are at controlling yourself.”

Gavin swallowed hard at his words, knowing that a lot of that came from the drugs that he had given the man. For a moment, he felt almost guilty. Until he felt Michael’s hand on his neck, pressing their lips together. “This is okay, right?” he asked, his brown eyes staring straight into Michael’s own. “I’m not pressuring you into anything?”

“Michael!” Gavin snapped. “I was the one asking you to fuck me, not the other way around. Of course I’m damn sure. Stop asking.”

\----------------------------------

It was hard for Michael to control himself, to not just fuck him hard right then and there, without any stretching at all. But if he ever wanted to have a chance of ever doing this with Gavin ever again, he knew he needed to pace himself.

So he settled for simply hooking his thumbs around the other man’s boxers, teasing them down, slowly but surely, and reveling in the sound of his soft groans. “I don’t think you understand how fucking sexy you are when you swear, Gav,” he muttered, finally pushing the boxers off, and removing his own a bit more quickly. He caught Gavin’s lips in his own and lowered himself onto him.

They both let out moans at the feeling of the other’s dick against his own, and Michael reached to grab the lube, rubbing it onto his fingers and warming it, before lowering his hand down to Gavin’s entrance.  
“You ready?”

\--------------------------------

Gavin couldn’t nod his head fast enough, and as soon as he felt Michael’s finger pressing at his entrance, his mouth fell open, dropping away from the kiss the two of them had been sharing.

“Please. Just do it.”

It didn’t take long for Michael to push a single digit in, and Gavin tried his best to relax. It wasn’t that he didn’t finger himself from time to time, because he did. But it was a rare occurrence, and it had been a while since the last time.

His hands gripped tightly at Michael’s shoulders as he began to pump his finger in and out of him, and he could feel himself clenching. He urged himself to relax, knowing that Michael wouldn’t hurt him. There was just something about the man on top of him that was trustworthy.

The fact that he was on rage hadn’t scared him off, and fuck was he glad that it didn’t.

\------------------------------

Michael could feel Gavin tensing, and he began to kiss his neck gently to distract him. “It’s okay,” he murmured. “Don’t worry. I won’t hurt you. I promise. This isn’t too far, right?”

Gavin shook his head frantically. “No, no, no,” he choked out. “Please don’t stop Michael. God, don’t stop. Please.”

“I won’t,” he whispered, beginning to prod gently at his entrance with another finger. “Are you ready for two?”

“Just go Michael! Don’t stop to ask me if it’s okay! Everything’s okay, I swear. I’ll tell you if it’s not. Just god, go.”

Michael nodded his understanding and began to thrust two fingers inside of him, twisting ever so gently every now and again, curling and scissoring, trying to give Gavin as much pleasure as possible. Soon, it would be amazing for both of them, though Michael was currently straining, trying with everything inside of him to not reach down and grasp his own cock.

\---------------------------------

Gavin sensed Michael was uncomfortable, and it didn’t take long for him to determine why. So, without saying a word, he wrapped his fingers around the other man’s length, causing him to let out a guttural moan.

“God Gavin,” he heard the other man groan as he began to pump him slowly.

Just then, the man thrust a third finger inside of him, causing Gavin to whimper, and drop his head back. The hand that was on Michael paused for a moment, but he forced himself to resume his previous actions, not wanting to become so lost in his own pleasure that he forgot about Michael’s.

“Where’d you put that lube?” Gavin whispered, and Michael gestured brokenly, and the pumps of his fingers started to waver as Gavin lubed his length. “I’m ready,” Michael,” he said as he grabbed the man by the neck once more and caught him in an open mouthed, desperate kiss.

\----------------------------------

Michael moaned as he heard Gavin’s words, because he was already so close, and they hadn’t even started yet. He lined himself up almost immediately, pulling his fingers out. “You’re sure about this?” he asked once more.

“Michael!” he heard the other man whimper. “If you ask me that one more time, I swear I’ll leave the room right now and make you take care of yourself.”

That was encouragement enough for Michael and he pushed in slowly, just his tip entering Gavin. “You wouldn’t.”

He watched as Gavin’s head dropped back once more. “Yeah, you’re probably right,” he gasped. “But hey, it worked, correct?”

Michael groaned as he began to push himself deeper into Gavin, pausing when he was completely inside. “You’re okay?”

“Fuck yes,” Gavin gasped. “More than okay. Just fucking move.”

It didn’t take Michael long to comply to Gavin’s request, beginning to pull out and thrust in slowly, immediately beginning to set a pace. After several thrusts, Gavin let out a moan louder than the rest, causing Michael to let out one of his own. He liked seeing the other man being pleasured. Knowing he was the one causing that made him harder, if that was even possible.

“Oh god,” Gavin gasped. “Right there, Michael! Please. Just do that again.”

Michael nodded, knowing that he had hit the man’s prostate, and continued to thrust into him, beginning to increase both his speed and roughness, and soon he was pounding into Gavin, a steady stream of moans escaping both of their lips.

\-------------------------------------

Gavin’s breathing was heavy and he struggled to form words as he felt the familiar warmth in the pit of his stomach. “I’m so close, Michael,” he moaned.

The other man just grew rougher in response, which just brought him that much closer to the edge. Michael’s hand made its way to Gavin’s cock, starting to pump him in time with his thrusts, and it wasn’t much longer before Gavin couldn’t hold himself any more, moaning out Michael’s name as he came over both of their chests.

There wasn’t any doubt in Gavin’s mind that it was the best orgasm of his life, as Michael continued to fuck him through it, and he clenched around him, causing Michael to cry out, reaching his own high just as Gavin was finishing.

\-------------------------------

It took Michael a few moments to come down from his high, and he gingerly pulled out of Gavin, dropping on his back on the bed beside him. He felt the man pulling himself closer, resting his head on Michael’s chest.

They lay there for a moment, Michael stroking Gavin’s hair, the only sound in the room that of their heavy breathing.

Soon, Gavin began to snore, and, as much as he wanted to talk about what had just happened, Michael too closed his eyes, promising himself that he would talk to Gavin about this in the morning.


	6. Chapter 6

Michael awoke the next morning, surprised for several reasons. First of all, he hadn’t woke up at all during the night to inject himself with rage. He wasn’t even feeling the side effects yet. His head felt clear, though his body ached slightly. That led to his second surprise.

Lying next to him on the bed was Gavin. All of the memories of the previous night came flooding back to him as he forced himself to sit up, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He stretched his arms above his head, trying his best to constrain a yawn. He didn’t want to wake Gavin up. Not yet, at least. However, he did lean over to grab some wipes out of a drawer, quickly cleaning himself off, and did the same to the man who was still sleeping, hoping that he didn’t stir.

Quietly, he swung his legs over the side of the bed, grabbing a pair of boxers and pulling them on before exiting the room. He left Gavin there, as he still had a few things he needed to think over. And every single one of them included the man that was currently sleeping naked on his bed.

He blinked several times as he made his way to the kitchen. He started a pot of coffee and sat down at the table. He put his head in his hands, trying to remember exactly why he had done anything the previous night. He didn’t necessarily regret anything he had done, he just didn’t know what had come over him. He had enjoyed every minute of it, and would do it again in a heartbeat, but he didn’t know if he could be the one to initiate it.

There was just something about Gavin the previous night that had seemed irresistible to him. The man still had that quality, but it wasn’t strong enough. He wondered for a moment if it could be a side effect of the rage. It had never made him affectionate in the past, but there could have been something different about the kind that Gavin was giving him. It did seem stronger than normal, and the results had lasted much longer than usual - he didn’t wake up once in the night to re-inject himself.

Of course, that could have had something to do with the fact that he had just had sex as well.

Just as the coffee pot began to beep, signaling that it was finished, Michael heard a shuffling from the other room. The door to the kitchen swung open, slamming into the wall behind it.

A tired, half-dressed Gavin jumped at the noise. Michael ran his eyes over Gavin’s body, completely unashamed.

“Damn it, Gavin,” Michael muttered, shaking his head and getting to his feet. “Good morning to you too.” He got to his feet, walking over to the coffee pot. “Would you like some liquid death?”

“If you mean coffee, then sure.”

The man’s voice was quite rough, and it made Michael shiver. He realized it was probably just the fact that he was still waking up, but he couldn’t help but consider the option that it had something to do with the previous night.

\----------------------------------

“Are you okay, Michael?” Gavin asked as he saw Michael shiver. “You cold?”

“Something like that,” Michael replied as he pushed a cup of coffee towards him. “How are you feeling?”

Gavin wrinkled his nose. “I wasn’t going to mention it, but I’m fucking sore. Bloody hell, Michael. You don’t mess around.”

He saw Michael blush as he turned away from him, leaning with his back against the counter as he responded. “I was only doing what you asked.”  
“I wasn’t complaining.”

When Michael turned back around, Gavin noted the concerned look on his face. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“About last night, Gav,” he said slowly, and Gavin felt his heart sink. He should have known. The emotion Michael had felt last night was only because of the drug. He would only be able to realize that he felt that way after he had injected himself again.

“Yeah?” he asked, in a slightly disappointed voice. “You don’t regret it, do you?” Even though he was fairly certain that he knew what the answer would be, he couldn’t help but wanting to know for sure.

“Oh god, no,” he heard Michael mutter, and a loud thunk as his mug hit the counter. The pattering of his footsteps on the bare floor caused him to look up, and he saw Michael standing just a few inches in front of him. “You don’t, do you?”

“Of course not.”

“Good,” he said, looking as if he was simply trying to find words to say. “It’s not that I regret it. Because I definitely don’t. I’m just more confused than anything. I’ve never done anything like that before, Gav. I think the affection was a side effect of my rage.”

“I figured that,” he whispered. More than you even know, he added in his head.

“But you still went along with it? Why? I mean, I know I’m subconsciously, somewhere attracted to you, and you’re definitely a good looking guy.” Here Michael paused and blushed, and Gavin did the same. “But why did you let me? I’m glad you did, don’t get me wrong. But -” he cut himself off, putting his hands on Gavin’s shoulders. Gavin jumped at the sudden contact and stared straight into Michael’s eyes.

The emotion showing in them was intense. “You didn’t just do it because you were drunk, did you Gav?” He asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

Gavin smiled softly and shook his head. His drug was still in full affect, and he pulled Michael forwards this time, pulling his lips to his. “Of course not, Michael,” he said as he finally pulled away. The man was still staring at him with a confused look on his face. “I did it because I was on my own kind of drug. Where I was feeling like I would naturally. I like you Michael. I really, really do.”

\------------------------------

Michael sucked in a breath as he heard the words. He wanted to say them back to the man, he really did. But he couldn’t bring himself to do it. There wasn’t enough rage in his system. And he didn’t really know if he wanted to inject himself again while Gavin was here. He didn’t know what it would lead to.

So, instead, he just settled for a nod. He turned back to his coffee, sipping slowly as he considered Gavin’s words. He wished that affection wasn’t something that the government felt such a strong need to control. Affection was one of the most amazing things that a human being could experience, and most people that he knew had tried the drug at least once.

The government had to know that, and since it wasn’t hurting anyone, he didn’t see what the purpose of restraining it was. But he knew he wasn’t really one to argue with the government. He did it, obviously, on a daily basis, what with his internet ‘rage videos’ and everything else he did.  
The only thing he could do that would be worse would be to physically scream “Fuck these government assholes,” from the fucking rooftops. And he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t considered it before.

Gavin seemed to be equally deep in thought when he turned back to him. “So I’m assuming you’re going to have to be going here soon?” he managed to stammer out, hopefully just loud enough for Gavin to hear him. He didn’t know if he’d be able to ask it again.

“Why?” the man asked, looking slightly concerned. “Am I overstaying my welcome? Do you want me to leave?”

Michael groaned internally. “I don’t know, Gav,” he managed. “It’s not that I really want you to leave. Actually, I wouldn’t care if you never fucking left. But I need to sort through my thoughts. Maybe take some more rage. And I don’t know if I necessarily want to do that while you’re here.”

\------------------------------------

Gavin nodded as soon as he heard the man’s words. He hadn’t even been expecting Michael to be that understanding. Instead, he had expected him to be yelling and screaming at him to get out. He was glad that it had gone so much better. He knew that Michael probably had some difficult things that he had to work over, and, in all honesty, he needed to do the same.

He got to his feet, taking the mug of coffee with him. “I’ll call Dan to pick me up,” he said with a smile. “I just need the address. I’m not really sure where we are.”

Michael shook his head at him, and Gavin smiled slightly. “I’ll drop you off, don’t worry about it. As long you tell me where to go from our original meeting place. I wouldn’t dream of bothering your friend. It was my fault you ended up here, and I’ll get you home.

Gavin smiled and nodding room where he had begun the night before. He picked his jeans and shirt up off of the ground, pulling them on. They were crinkled, as was to be expected of their being on the floor all night, and he was sure that his hair was a wreck. He didn’t have any way to fix that though, and he figured he was just going to have to deal with it. He knew he was going to be teased by Dan anyways. There wasn’t any need to hide anything.

Michael had exited the kitchen while he had been dressing, and soon emerged from his bedroom fully dressed, a green beanie covering his brown colored curls. Gavin couldn’t help himself from staring. Even now, Michael looked absolutely amazing.

Michael winked at him, and Gavin blushed. “You like what you see?” he asked, and Gavin bit his lip. He didn’t know why Michael was being so flirtatious, but he was enjoying it. He only hoped that he wasn’t only doing it for Gavin’s sake.

“Very much so,” he managed to stutter out, and Michael chuckled, shaking his head.

“Come on, Gav,” he said, gesturing for him to follow him as he approached the door to the apartment. “Let’s get out of here.”

\------------------------------------

Gavin led Michael back to his own house easily enough; in comparison to Michael’s shack of a place, it was a mansion.

He turned to Gavin as he pulled in the driveway, setting the car in park and turning the car off. “Do I get to meet your partner in crime?” he asked with a smile. “Or would that be too awkward?”  Gavin blushed madly, and Michael couldn’t help his grin from growing. Even when he wasn’t on rage, Gavin’s blush was adorable. There wasn’t any denying it.

“I guess so,” he heard the man mutter. “But you have to promise not to be horrible.”

“Me?” Michael asked, feigning surprise as he gestured to himself. “When have I ever been horrible?”

Gavin rolled his eyes. “You know what I mean.”

Michael laughed. “Of course. I won’t be embarrassing, or talk about how we totally fucked last night, even though he’s definitely going to be able to guess. Especially judging by your hair.”

\------------------------------------

Gavin could feel the heat in his cheeks starting to build as he turned away from Michael. If he was this flirty when he wasn’t on rage, then maybe it wasn’t just the drugs talking. Shaking his head, he opened the door to the car, slamming it behind him.

He heard Michael laughing inside the car as he opened his own door. “Okay,” he said. “I don’t know what that was for. I was being perfectly acceptable. Your friend wasn’t there to hear me. Unless you’re embarrassed of me.”

“Of course I’m not,” Gavin said. “Stop being ridiculous.” He walked over to Michael’s side of the car, once again leaning in to give him a gentle peck on the lips. Then he grabbed the man by the hand and dragged him along with him towards the door. “Come on. I’m not sure if he’s awake yet, or not. But we’ll see.”

“It’s noon, Gav,” he heard Michael chuckle, but he just shook his head. “Dan is basically nocturnal nowadays. I barely ever see him. We just share the house. It’s cheaper that way.

He opened the door to the house, yelling loudly as soon as it was open. “B! You awake?” He heard a groan from another room, and chuckled. “That sounds like a hangover to me. I figured that’s what I’d come back to.”

“B?” Michael asked, stopping dead in his tracks. Gavin stopped to look at him.

“Yeah? That’s what I call him. What about it?”

Michael pouted. “Why didn’t you give me a cute nickname like that?” he asked.

“Come on, Michael,” he said, smiling as the man stiffened as his name left his lips. He leaned over to whisper in his ear. “If I’m being completely honest, it’s because I noticed you liked it when I said your name.”

Michael swallowed and nodded. “It’s your fucking British accent,” he mumbled, his face turning red. “It’s fucking sexy.”

“So you’ve said.”

\--------------------------------------

Michael’s tried his best to face away from Gavin so that the other man couldn’t see his embarrassment. Fuck the government. For the second time since he had met Gavin, he was extremely annoyed at them for allowing embarrassment to be a thing. He knew what it’s purpose was - to keep everyone under wraps. If no one could keep a decent composure, it was much easier to tell them what to do.

However, he kept these thoughts to himself as he was pulled back towards the room where he had heard the groan from. He agreed with Gavin - those sounded like the sounds of a hangover. God knew he had experienced enough in his time to be considered an expert in such matters.

Soon he was standing in front of the man that Gavin called his friend, hand in his, and a confident look plastered across his face. He knew that confidence would falter as soon as he began to speak, because that was yet one more thing you needed a drug to have. But for now, he was okay with it.

“Dan,” Gavin said hesitantly, and Michael squeezed his hand. He shot him a glare, causing Michael to smirk. “This is Michael.”

“Hey Michael,” Dan groaned, struggling to his feet. “Sorry about my condition. I may have had a bit too much to drink last night.”  Michael released Gavin’s hand as he stared at the other man, shaking his head and letting a chuckle escape his lips.

“It’s all good, man. I’m far too familiar with that feeling to be judging anyone for it.”

Dan nodded, then extended a hand. “Good to meet you,” he muttered, as Michael took his hand. “Gavin’s told me a lot about you.”

Michael turned to Gavin, whose face had completely changed colors. “Dan,” he hissed. “Don’t be a prick.”

Dan chuckled. “Sorry B. I just thought he might want to know.”

“They’re good things I hope.”

“Of course,” Gavin replied. “Definitely good things.”

The three stood there in silence for a moment, before Michael finally straightened. “Well,” he said awkwardly, shifting his weight from foot to foot. “I guess I’d better go. I just wanted to meet you.”

He turned his back and began to walk away.

“See you later, Gav.”


	7. Chapter 7

As soon as Michael had left, Gavin knew it was going to be rough. Dan hadn’t stopped grinning since he had seen the man, and he still stood staring at Gavin.

“So that’s the guy you fell head over heels for,” Dan said, raising an eyebrow. “I can see why, I suppose.” He paused for a moment, his grin growing wider. “But I knew you weren’t going to be back last night. I guessed it right away. And you insisted it wasn’t like that.”  Gavin tried to speak confidently, but he was a stammering mess. “I - Dan. C-can we not do this?” His face had gone extremely red, and he turned his back to walk away. Dan ran up behind him, however, spinning him around.

“Come on B!” Dan exclaimed. “There’s nothing wrong with it. I’m glad he wanted to meet me. Now I can match the face to the name. Plus, you guys totally fucked last night. There’s no need trying to deny it.”

“What?” Gavin sputtered. “There’s no way you could know that for sure.”

Dan rolled his eyes. “Have you seen yourself lately? Your hair is a fucking mess. Your clothes are beyond wrinkled.” Here he paused, staring at Gavin’s neck, which caused him to shift uncomfortably. “And it seems like Michael may have left some marks.

Gavin stiffened, a hand flying to his neck. He had forgotten about that in the rush of the morning. If he would have remembered, he would have at least tried to hide it. But it was far too late now, and he knew it.

“Okay, fine,” he said after a while. “Some things may have happened. But it was purely because of the drugs. Nothing more. He’s back to normal now, and he was just talking this morning about how confused he was. It’s hard enough for me as it is, so can you please just drop it?”

Dan stared. He wasn’t used to this kind of behavior from Gavin, and he almost felt bad for getting him so worked up. “I’m sorry, B,” he managed to spit out. “I didn’t realize, I suppose. I wasn’t thinking. Michael’s an asshole.”

“Hey,” Gavin snapped. “No he’s not. Michael is perfect. It’s my fault. If I hadn’t given him those drugs in the first place, then he wouldn’t have been capable of messing with me. Now I have to keep giving them to him, unless I want him to commit suicide or some shit. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if he did.”

Stepping forwards, Dan rested a hand on Gavin’s shoulder. “Listen. It’ll work out. I promise. The drugs really just reveal what’s actually inside of you, right? So that means he actually is attracted to you. He just can’t show it.”

Gavin heard the words and he knew they were correct. But there was something inside of him that made him feel guilty for what he had done.  
“Make me a promise, B?” Gavin asked, finally making eye contact with the other. Dan looked startled by his words, but eventually nodded.

“Depends on what it is, but sure.”

“If something happens to me, where I can’t help Michael get his drugs - promise me that you’ll tell him what I did?”

“You’re not going to do it yourself?”

“Not unless I have to.”

\------------------------------------------

Michael’s head was racing. The minute he had left Gavin’s presence, he had started to lose all sanity. It was unlike anything he had ever experienced before. He thought that the rage had been the reason he had been attracted to Gavin, but the idea of being separated from him was much more difficult now that he was experiencing it.

He wasn’t even in the car before the drug had started to wear off. He began to sweat profusely as he started up his car, pulling out and rolling down the windows, trying to get some fresh air. However, as he drove, he realized that he was becoming less capable of focus.

A sharp pain went through his head, and he swerved, just managing to get his car safely off to the side of the road. He had meant to wait until he returned home to inject himself with more rage, but it didn’t look like he was going to make it.

Hesitantly, he pulled a packet out of his pocket. He had brought some with him, just in case, but it hadn’t been looking like it was going to be necessary. However, something had happened, and it was looking more and more likely as time went by.

For a fraction of a minute, Michael considered the possibility that Gavin had something to do with it. When he was around, Michael felt better than he could ever remember feeling. Everything was clear, and he wasn’t in a constant state of disarray. He made sense, and it was almost as if he had just slipped into his world. And Michael hadn’t tried to do anything to stop him.

No, Michael. Stop. That’s impossible. Gavin has absolutely nothing to do with this. You’re only messed up because you haven’t taken rage in a while. That’s it. Nothing more.

Michael shook his head, looking at the needle of drugs in his hand. He wanted to take it, but he didn’t know what would happen if he did. The reaction the previous time had been so much different than he was used to, and it was extremely confusing to him. But he wasn’t taking any chances.

He injected the needle into his arm, his head falling back, as it always did. Then he pushed the rage into his system, allowing himself to feel the adrenaline racing through his veins. Fucking hell, this stuff was strong.

In the split second that he felt the emotions, he was internally torn in two. Part of him couldn’t stop thinking about Gavin. He just wanted to drive the car back to tell him how he really felt - that he did really like the man, even though he hadn’t been able to say so that morning. He wanted to let him know that he really did care, and that there was something more to the whole thing than he had thought before.

But the other side of him was angry. That was the common affect of rage that he was so used to. He wanted to punch something. Or kill something. Or any combination of the two.

\------------------------------------

“Where are you going?”

Gavin looked at Dan, rolling his eyes. “Does it matter?”

“Wow. You’re feisty. What, is your boyfriend rubbing off on you?”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Gavin mumbled, his face turning a dark shade of red.

“Ah. There’s the Gavin I know.”

“Shut up. I’m just going to my room. Nothing exciting. I just need to sort through a few things. You know. As would be necessary with most human beings.”

“Okay. But just know, if you ever need to talk about anything - Michael, the drugs, whatever - I’m here.” 

“Yeah,” Gavin managed before he left the room. He knew that Dan didn’t mean any harm, but it was difficult for him to talk to anyone when all he could think about was Michael. He had completely taken over his mind, and it was difficult for him to think about anything else. As soon as he entered his room, he shut the door behind him, sitting down on the bed.

On his bedside table was a needle, already prepared with his drugs. He didn’t know if he wanted to take them anymore. He wished that it wasn’t so difficult. But if he didn’t inject himself, who knew what would happen. So he did.

He leaned back into his bed as he felt the emotions running through his body, and his mind flicked back to Michael. To how he was probably doing the exact same thing at this very moment. He knew that he personally had become a lot more desperate for a fix the moment Michael had left, but for what reason, he was still unsure.

Playing with his hands proved to not be very distracting, so he eventually found himself reaching for his laptop that lay to the side of his bed, along with his drugs. For a moment, he stared at the screen, not sure what to do. But then a thought came to him, and he typed a few words into the search engine.

Michael Jones on rage.

\---------------------------------

He had tried not to act on impulse. He really, really did. But when a man came up to him in the middle of the store and started talking to him for no reason, Michael had snapped. Internally, he knew it was ridiculous. Internally, he knew it was wrong. But when the rage took over, it was in complete control, and there wasn’t any stopping it.

That was why he was currently strolling casually away from a store, trying desperately to not look suspicious. He had beaten the man a lot closer to death than he ever had before, and for the first time, he actually felt bad.

He wondered what Gavin would think, if he would have seen what had just happened. It wasn’t exactly a secret that the man found his rage attractive, but going off on a completely innocent passerby? That was a bit much, even for Michael.

However, there wasn’t any way that he was going to give himself in. There was a little voice somewhere, in the very back of his head, telling him that would be the correct thing to do. But he wasn’t going to listen to it. Instead, he made his way back to his apartment, immediately making his way to his room. He wanted to talk to Gavin as soon as possible, and it seemed like this was the only way to do it.

\----------------------------------

Gavin sat on his bed, listening to Michael’s voice over his computer. There was just something about the man’s chaotic yelling that was calming to him, as strange as that sounded.

He jumped as his phone rang, and he almost threw his computer to the ground. Regaining his composure, he managed to glance at the caller. It was Michael. Of course. On one hand, Gavin really wanted to talk to him. That was the side of him that was in control at the moment, looking up videos of him, just so he could hear his voice.

But there was another part of him that never wanted to talk to him again, just so that he wouldn’t be hurt any more. The former trumped the latter.

“Hello?” Gavin asked hesitantly, pushing the laptop off of him, and pulling his knees to his chest.

“Gavin?”

“Hey Michael,” he said softly. He tried to make it sound as if he hadn’t known it was him calling, but he knew that would be impossible. He was far too eager. “Did you need something?”

“You.”

Gavin let out a breath that he didn’t know he had been holding. He hated this. He hated everything about this. Yet the urge to flirt back was far too strong to contain.

“Yeah, same here.”

\-------------------------------

Michael sucked in a breath at Gavin’s words. “Listen Gav,” he said slowly. “I just need you to understand something.”

“What’s that?”

“I’m not using you, okay?”

He heard a sharp intake of breath from the other end of the line, but he ignored it, and continued to speak. “I really like you, okay? I really fucking like you. Like, so much so, it’s confusing me. But I want us to do something. Work some stuff out. And I want you, Gav. So fucking much. Right now. In more ways than one.”

Gavin was struggling to breath normally by this point, he could tell. Finally, his voice spoke up. “I know, Michael,” he said, his voice scarcely loud enough to be heard. “I just don’t want to get hurt.”

“What if we made a deal?”

“What kind of a deal?”

“Not really a deal, so much as a request, I guess.”

“Michael! Just spit it out.” 

“I fucking want you to be my boyfriend, Gavin! Like officially! I don’t know why it’s so fucking hard to say, but that doesn’t make it any less true. I feel like I’m not really showing you how fucking serious I am about you. I’ve never felt like this about anyone before. You make me all nervous and stupid whenever I see your damn face. I don’t know if you feel the same way, but this emotion shit is as new to me as it is to you. So just tell me, so I can know whether to go cry.”

There was a long pause, and Michael held his breath for almost all of it. Finally, Gavin spoke. “I’d really like that, Michael. More than you even know. All of those things that you said you felt - I feel those too. And I would love to call myself your boyfriend.”

A wide grin broke across Michael’s face as he heard Gavin’s words. “Thank God,” he muttered. “I was over here expecting the worst."

Gavin giggled on the other end of the phone. “Now I just wish I could see you, so I could kiss your lovely face. And those freckles that are pretty much the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen.”

If Michael had thought he was blushing before, he was really red now. “Same here, Gav. I could come pick you up, but I pretty much just dropped you off a few fucking hours ago. If your friend wasn’t suspicious before, he’d sure as fuck be suspicious then.”

“He already guessed,” he heard Gavin sputter. “You may have marked me in a few places that were kind of... visible.”

Michael let out a loud laugh, and Gavin immediately began to protest. “Michael! It’s not funny! It was embarrassing!”

“I’m sorry, Gavin,” Michael finally managed. “But I couldn’t help it. You’re just so damn cute when you blush, and I’m sure you were fucking beyond red at that.”

“Okay, Michael. How about you stop being horrible, and come and pick me up? Fuck what Dan says. I just want to see you. Actually, scratch that. I need to see you. More than I’ve ever needed to see anyone before.”


	8. Chapter 8

The minute Michael had hung up the phone, he was on his way. He knew that it would probably be awkward to see Dan again so soon, but at this point, he didn’t really care. It was a new experience, something that he had never experienced before. He had never felt so strongly about a person before in his life, and it was kind of startling to him. But he didn’t hesitate for a second.

He arrived at Gavin’s house a lot sooner than he had meant to - a few traffic laws may have been broken, but in his state he didn’t even know himself. He quickly exited the car, approaching the front door of the house. He raised a hand to knock on the door, but before he had been able to do so, it was opening. Then Dan was standing right in front of him, a wide grin across his face.

“Back so soon?”

“I guess so. Does it really fucking matter? I just want to talk to Gavin.”

“I could have guessed that. And there’s no need to bloody swear, mate.”

Michael rolled his eyes, and he felt the rage starting to build. He knew that if he did anything to hurt Dan, he would never hear the end of it, but that didn’t stop his mind from wanting to respond in aggression. He managed to control himself. “I fucking swear. That’s something you need to know about me. Especially when I’m on rage. Which is right now. So if you would just fucking go and get Gavin, that’d be great.”

“Does he know you were coming?”

“Yes.”

Dan shook his head, chuckling a bit. “You guys have really got it bad for each other, huh?”

“I - I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Michael muttered, embarrassment briefly overtaking the rage.

“Oh come on. I haven’t seen two people so infatuated in a while.”

“Then you must not get out much.”

Dan shrugged. “Or maybe I just don’t see many people that are taking the right drugs to feel it. I’ve always been scared of those stronger drugs. I sell them, but would never take them. I have a great deal of respect for you, what with that rage of yours and all. It takes some guts.”

Michael was about to respond, when he heard Gavin. “Dan! What are you doing?” Gavin exclaimed, running up behind him and pushing him out of the way.

“Come on, B. I was just talking to your boyfriend. Though you said that there wasn’t anything going on.”

“Dan!”

“Actually,” Michael spoke up. “I just asked Gavin to be my boyfriend before I came over. So that kind of teasing doesn’t work anymore.”

By this point, Gavin’s face was completely red. “Michael,” he hissed. “I was planning on telling him that on my own time.”

“Sorry,” Michael murmured, though he was far from apologetic. In all reality, he just wanted to leave, and if that would help them take off quicker, he was more than willing to comply.

\--------------------------------

Gavin couldn’t speak by this point, and he was completely flustered. On the one hand, he wanted to stick around and try to explain some things to Dan. Though another part of him said that it really wasn’t his business at all, and he should just leave. The latter option seemed more appealing.

So, completely spurred on by impulse, he stepped forwards, grabbing Michael by the hand and starting to walk away. “This isn’t really any of your business, Dan,” he called over his shoulder as he led Michael back towards his car. “I’m not sure when I’ll be back, but I’m not making any promises.”

He heard Michael chuckle, but he only tightened his grip on his hand. The sound of a door closing came from behind them, and Gavin was glad that Dan wasn’t the kind of person to be offended easily.

Just as Gavin was about to release the other man’s hand to retreat to the other side of the car, he felt his body being pressed up against the car door, and Michael was right in front of him.

“I missed you.”

Gavin felt a shiver go through his entire body as he heard the words, but he tried to play off how they had made him feel. “We just saw each other a few hours ago,” he managed, trying to make it sound like a joke. However, from what Gavin had heard come out of his own mouth, it hadn’t worked.

Michael buried his face in the crook of Gavin’s neck, and he stiffened. “I know,” the other man exclaimed into his skin. “That’s why I’m so confused. I’ve never felt this way about someone before, Gavin. But when I leave you, I can’t stop thinking about you.”

“I feel the same about you,” Gavin admitted. “But let’s just go, okay? We can talk about this more when we’re back at your apartment, or wherever you were wanting to go.”

Michael nodded, and Gavin couldn’t help but pull him up to meet his lips in a kiss. The other man immediately tried to silently ask for more, attempting to make the kiss more passionate. However, Gavin just pulled away, planting a single kiss on Michael’s nose. The man pouted, and Gavin giggled.

“Come on. We’ll never get anywhere at this rate.”

\-------------------------------

Michael knew that Gavin was right, and hesitantly pulled away, as much as he hated even a minute of being separated from his body. He unlocked the doors to his car and climbed inside, Gavin going around the other side and entering in through the passenger side.

Once the other man had been seated, Michael turned to him. He had been meaning to ask Gavin something, but he was worried about offending the other man. While he debated internally, he bit his lip, making it a lot more obvious that something was on his mind than he had intended to be.  
“Are you okay, Michael?”

“Huh?” he asked, jumping just the slightest bit at the noise. He hadn’t been all the way there. Rather, he had been lost in his own mind. “Oh yeah. Sure. I’m fine.”

Gavin didn’t look convinced. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”  Michael hesitated. “Yeah. Of course.”

“You don’t seem very sure about that.”

“I just don’t want to offend you.”

“That’s not going to happen. If I was going to be offended by something you said, I’m sure I would have done it already. You’re a handful.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“See? There it is.”

Michael groaned, running a hand through his curls. “Okay. I just - wanted to make sure. There’s nothing going on between you and Dan? Like, at all?”

Gavin looked shocked, then his face seemed to soften as a small smile played across his lips. He leaned a little closer to Michael, just enough to whisper in his ear. “Michael. I’m not that kind of a person. Of course I don’t like Dan. He’s just a really good friend. We’ve known each other for years. And never, not once, have I ever thought of him in the same way as I do you.”

Michael sucked in a breath as he heard the words, and responded with a sharp nod. He grabbed the back of Gavin’s head, turning his head to meet his and kissing him fiercely. “Good,” he muttered, pulling away. He turned the key in the ignition, and turned to look in front of him. “Because I’m not sure if I’d be able to keep my rage under wraps if you did.

\-------------------------------

A shiver made it’s way through Gavin at the words, though there was really no way to be sure of what he was actually implying. It could be interpreted a million different ways, and each and every one send a thrill straight to his very core.

He knew it was wrong. He shouldn’t be attracted to this aggression in a person. But never once had he done anything to hurt Gavin himself; in fact, it had been quite the opposite. Michael had always been extremely considerate when it came to Gavin’s feelings, or anything to do with him. Any emotional trauma he had caused had been completely because of the drugs that Gavin had given him.

And Gavin was pretty sure that he was high at that very moment.

However, as the car pulled out of his driveway, and began to go in the direction of Michael’s house, Gavin couldn’t bring himself to care. He was high as well, and there wasn’t any denying that it was a key part of their relationship. he just needed to learn to deal with that.

The ride back to Michael’s house was longer than any other thing he had ever experienced in his life, and he was glad when it had finally ended. The tension had just grown the longer they were in each others presence, and Gavin was practically bouncing in his seat by the time Michael finally managed to park the car.

“Jesus, Gavin,” Michael said in an amused tone. “Can you please calm the fuck down? It’s very distracting.”

“Distracting?”  Michael shook his head and chuckled, turning the car out and climbing out. Gavin followed close behind. The other man began to walk towards his front door, but Gavin stopped dead in his tracks.

What was he even doing here? What was the purpose of all this? The intentions? He didn’t know. He just knew that he wanted to be with Michael, doing anything and everything that a couple might do.

Michael seemed to notice that something was up and he glanced over his shoulder, raising an eyebrow. “You alright? Something the matter?”

Gavin swallowed hard, shaking his head and walking quickly to join Michael, smiling as the man intertwined their fingers. Michael held their hands up in front of him, a wide grin plastered across his face.

“I like this.”

“I do too.”

\----------------------------------

Michael was able to contain himself a bit better than he did the last time Gavin had been with him. He managed to unlock his door without shaking and becoming a stammering mess, and the door swung open with a bit more control.

He flicked the lights on as soon as he entered, pushing the door closed and Gavin up against it. He smirked up at him and craned his neck to kiss him before pulling away. Turning on his heel, he walked towards the kitchen, only to hear Gavin calling after him.

“What was that for?”

“What wasn’t it for?”

“Ugh. Michael, that’s not an answer. You’re being really evasive.”

Michael chuckled slightly at the other man’s words. “I’ll tell you in a minute. Do you want a beer?”

“Sure.”

He grabbed a couple out of the fridge before returning to Gavin, handing one to him. Gavin took it, but lifted an eyebrow. “So?”

“So?” Michael prompted.

“Don’t be a pleb.”

“I don’t even know what that fucking is. A pleb?”  “Michael! Why did you kiss me?”

Michael laughed, and it was the first time he had genuinely laughed in a long while. “You’re my boyfriend, Gavin,” he said wrapping an arm around him and squeezing him gently. “Can’t I just kiss you without any ulterior motives? The rage isn’t in complete control of me when you’re around, you know.”

Gavin seemed to be studying his face for a minute, and Michael couldn’t stop himself from blushing. As much as he had managed to keep his cool as of late, there was just something about the other man’s intense stare that made him squirm. “What are you fucking looking at?” He asked, internally cringing at the words the drug had forced upon him. But Gavin didn’t seem to be offended, and instead simply shrugged.

Then a grin broke across his face as he threw himself on the couch, covering the entire surface with his body. Michael rolled his eyes, but he hoped that the affection shone true.

\-------------------------

Gavin saw the gleam in Michael’s eyes and smiled broadly. “What?”

“You’re taking up the whole fucking couch, you piece of shit.”

Giggling, Gavin shrugged. “What are you going to do about it?”

He saw Michael’s entire body stiffen, and he held back another laugh. The idea that he could get the other man so worked up with only a few simple words was extremely endearing to him, as much as he hated to admit it.

“I don’t know,” Michael responded hesitantly. “There are any variety of ways that could be taken.” He bit his lip then shook his head, turning back towards the kitchen. “But they’re going to have to wait until later.”

Gavin knew that Michael was just messing with him at this point as he entered the other room, and he rolled his eyes. Fine. If that was the way Michael was going to play, he would beat him at his own game.

When Gavin entered the kitchen, he saw Michael bending over in front of the fridge, rummaging around in it for who knew what. He strolled over behind him, wrapping his arms around the other man’s waist, causing him to jump.

“Fucking hell, Gavin!” The man exclaimed. “Just give me a fucking heart attack, why don’t you? That’s fine.”

Gavin chuckled, just pulling the man closer to his body. “What were you looking for, Michael?”

“Something to fucking eat. I’m starving. You probably want something to eat too, huh?” He tried to pull away from Gavin, but he refused to let go.

“I’m not very hungry. But I could think of a way I could work up an appetite pretty quickly.”  He felt Michael stiffen, and he giggled. “Jesus, Gavin,” Michael muttered. “Already? Aren’t you still sore?”

“Maybe. But I want you too much to worry about that.”

He heard the sound of a sharp intake of breath, and before he knew what was happening, he was pinned up against the wall. The casual look that had been on Michael’s face before was now gone, and the intensity that now shone in his eyes caused Gavin to shiver.

Pressing his body up against Gavin, Michael whispered into his ear. “God, I don’t think you know what you do to me.”

Those were the last words Gavin heard before his lips met Michael’s, and he felt like he was flying above the clouds.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's mostly smut in this chapter, but there's also a scene that is vitally important to the plot near the end.

Any resolve that Michael may have had evaporated the moment Gavin had wrapped his arms around him. There was something inside of him that snapped. He had tried to hold himself back - he knew that Gavin was probably still sore, and didn’t want to push him into anything he didn’t want to. But here he was, practically asking him to fuck him again.

And he was going to give the man what he wanted. Michael pressed himself even closer to Gavin, wrapping his arms around the man’s neck and tilting his head slightly to deepen the kiss. The other man seemed to melt into him, immediately parting his lips slightly, allowing Michael to explore every inch. There was no fight for dominance; Gavin immediately let Michael take control.

That simple thought was enough to start to turn Michael on; whenever he was on rage, he started to become a bit of a control freak. It didn’t even have to be in a sexual way, though with Gavin, it seemed like that was the way it was headed.

Gavin moaned into his mouth, which caused his entire body to stiffen. He pressed deeper, and he gladly accepted, before they both pulled back to breathe. “Fuck, Gavin. I’m never going to be able to get over how good you are at that.”

Gavin’s face had been flushed before, but as he heard the words, the color only increased. He looked as if he was about to say something, but Michael leaned forwards again, taking his lower lip between his, biting down and sucking softly. Gavin choked out a gasp and his arms flew around Michael’s waist, pushing his lower body closer to him.

Michael could feel that Gavin was already starting to get hard, which caused him to become just that much more turned on. Slowly, he lifted a knee to Gavin’s crotch and began to grind against him gently.

\--------------------------

Gavin found it difficult to breathe the moment he felt Michael’s knee on him. He wanted to push his hips forwards, but he liked it when Michael was in control. So instead, he just kissed Michael harder, moaning into his mouth once more. He heard the other man begin to breathe heavier, and they both pulled back once more.

Michael’s eyes were clouded over with lust, and Gavin bit his lip at the feeling it sent through him. He couldn’t tell if it was from the drug or not, but at this point, he didn’t really care. What mattered was that he was with Michael at that moment, and he wouldn’t have wanted anything else. Eventually he would have to tell Michael what he had done. But hopefully by that point, he wouldn’t want to leave him.

For a moment, Gavin almost pulled away, the guilt was so strong. But when Michael moved his lips down to his neck, beginning to mark over the same bruises he had left the night before, there wasn’t any way he was going to be able to resist. It hurt a bit more than it had before, and after Michael had sucked on the skin, he soothed it with his tongue, before leaning up to whisper in his ear.

“I like marking you. It lets people know that you’re mine. That’s okay, though, right? You seemed kind of flustered when Dan noticed.” He chuckled. “Though that was really hot, I’m not going to lie.”

Gavin made a noise in the back of his throat which caused his face to become even more red than it already was. But as Michael didn’t say anything, he didn’t think that it had bothered him. “I - No. I don’t care. Normally I do. But you’re different. I want people to know.”

The sound of breath being sucked in sharply sounded near his ear, and Gavin knew that the words had at least some kind of an affect on the other man.

“That’s good,” Michael murmured. “Do you want to go to the bedroom? It’d be a lot easier to move now, rather than after we’re all worked up.”

Gavin nodded quickly, pushing Michael gently away from him before grabbing him by the hand and pulling him along.

“I guess you remember where it is,” Michael chuckled.

“Of course I do,” Gavin responded. “It’s not exactly like you have a huge apartment. You have a bedroom, a kitchen and a living room. That’s it. Not that difficult to memorize.”

“And an entryway. Don’t forget the entryway.”

Gavin pushed Michael into the room and closed the door behind them, but this time he was the one that pushed Michael up against the door. “I’ll forget the damn entryway if I want to,” he muttered before pressing his lips to Michael’s. It was a strange arrangement, his being in control for once. And he didn’t know if he liked it.

Despite the fact he was taller than Michael, the other man had much more spunk. So, Gavin led Michael’s hands to grip his hair, then flipped their positions, putting his own back against the wall. He felt Michael smile against his lips, and resisted his own urge to do the same.

\------------------------

Michael had allowed Gavin to do as he pleased, not wanted to push him into anything. Of course, especially with his being on rage, he enjoyed the feeling of being dominant, but he was willing to let Gavin try every now and again.

However, he was thankful when he realized that the positioning was just as strange for the other man as it had been for him, and when Gavin put himself into a more submissive arrangement, Michael felt his dick straining against his jeans.

Despite the heated kissing they had currently experienced, both men were still fully clothed, and Michael decided that it was time to change that. Still kissing Gavin, he started to slip his hands up the back of his shirt, running his hands over ever inch of his back, then coming back down to the hem, tugging on it.

He broke away from their kiss. “Off,” he muttered, and Gavin happily complied, lifting his arms in order to assist Michael in the removal of his shirt. Not long after he had tossed it to the ground, Gavin was doing the same for him, and then their bare chests were pressed together.

Gavin’s hands made their way to his hair once more, and with one tug, Michael couldn’t help but let out a moan. He knew that Gavin realized that it turned him on, and was using it to his advantage. As soon as the thought had passed through his mind, a subconscious need for control overtook him, and he pulled Gavin along with him, pushing him onto his back onto the bed and following soon after.

“You doing alright?” He asked, and Gavin only nodded, not being able to form words, his breathing was so heavy. “Good.”

He was on top of him again in an instant, and his hips were immediately grinding down into Gavin, causing a choked sigh to escape the other man’s lips. His hands reached out to the back of Michael’s head, immediately pulling him back to kiss him.

“I like being here with you,” he murmured against Michael’s lips. “I’ve never felt this way before. It’s different. You’re so much different, Michael.”  
Michael’s brain was going in a million different directions, and as hard as he tried to make words come, it was to no avail. So, in order to get across at least some of what he was feeling, he pressed his lips once more to the other man’s, his hands wandering lower to caress Gavin’s sides, then his fingers brushed over the bulge in Gavin’s pants.

The man’s breath hitched, and Michael began to push his palm down a bit harder, feeling the man straining in his jeans.

\--------------------

“Michael,” Gavin whimpered. “Please. If you don’t stop, I’m going to come in my pants.” Michael chuckled, and then sat up completely, causing a whine to escape Gavin’s lips, no matter how hard he tried to prevent it.

“What are you doing?”  Michael shrugged, but a smirk played across his lips. “You told me to stop.”

“You know what I meant,” Gavin pouted, looking up at him. He reached up and began to palm Michael, who let out a low moan. “God, Gavin.”

Gavin smirked, and rolled them over, so that he was on top of Michael. “Gavin?”  “Shhh,” he said putting a finger to Michael’s lips. “Just hold on.”  
He ran his fingers along the skin underneath Michael’s jeans before reaching to unbutton them, pulling them down, along with his boxers. “Gavin, wha - fuck.”

The man’s head was immediately thrown backwards in complete ecstasy as Gavin took him in his mouth, swirling his tongue around the tip and stroking the rest of him with his fingers. Michael’s hands reached for Gavin’s hair once more, but only to grip there.

Gavin could see that Michael was having trouble keeping himself from bucking his hips, so he pinned him to the bed, beginning to bob slowly up and down. Due to his horrific gag reflexes, he wasn’t ever able to deep throat, but he hoped that he could pleasure the man just the same.

He ran his tongue along the bottom of the man’s length, causing his entire body to tense. Then Gavin pulled off, causing Michael to groan even louder than he had before. “Jesus, Gavin,” he breathed. “I thought you were good at kissing, but apparently that’s not the only thing you can do with your mouth.”

\--------------------------

Michael saw the flush start to return to Gavin’s face once more, so he changed their position again, with him on top. He kissed Gavin’s cheeks gently. “Thank you,” he said. “Now we can both feel good.”

He reached over to his beside table once more, grabbing the lube they had used the previous night. “You still want me to fuck you, yeah?” he asked quietly into Gavin’s ear. “Because if you don’t, that’s perfectly okay too.”

Gavin nodded quickly. “No, I do,” he stuttered out. “I’ll be fine, I’m sure. Just fuck me. Please.”

Michael sucked in yet another breath at the man’s words, nodding sharply as he began to work at the man’s jeans, which were still on. In a few moments, both his pants and his boxers had joined the rest of their clothing on the floor, and they were both completely naked.

Michael took the lube and warmed some in his hands, immediately reaching down to kiss Gavin once more. “I know you probably don’t need as much stretching,” he said quietly, leading a finger down to circle Gavin’s entrance, smiling softly as he clenched around nothing. “But I want to do it, just the same.”

“Please,” he heard him whisper. “But do it quickly. I don’t know how much longer I’m going to last.”

Michael nodded, and began to slide a finger inside of Gavin. His face still contorted slightly, and Michael began to kiss Gavin’s neck and chest, much as he had done the previous night to distract him. Once his finger was in, he paused for a moment, but Gavin was immediately pushing back on him, letting him know that it was okay to continue.

He began to pump slowly in and out of him, pressing a second finger in soon afterwards. Gavin moaned slightly, and he paused. “I’m fine,” he choked out. “Just please don’t stop.”

Michael began to scissor his fingers while pushing them in and out slowly. Gavin groaned, and Michael felt his own cock twitch at the sound. “Don’t hold your sounds back,” he muttered as he thrust a third finger inside and began to curl them. “They’re sexy as fuck, and I want to hear you. Hear you moaning my name.”  “Michael,” he choked out, his breath heavy and stuttering. “I’m so close. I need you inside of me. Right now. Or I’m going to come without you, and I really don’t want to.”

Michael stroked Gavin’s length a single time, causing a low, deep sound to come from his parted lips. He threw his head back in pleasure, and Michael found himself completely frozen, just observing the sight in front of him. However, Gavin’s whining snapped him back into reality.

Quickly, he pulled his fingers out of Gavin, and spread the remainder of the lube over his own dick. His own head was thrown back at the touch, and he became so lost in his own pleasure that he almost forgot about Gavin.

\--------------------------

“Michael,” Gavin snapped. “Damn it, Michael.”

When the man still didn’t respond, he grabbed him by the back of the neck, pulling him down and on top of him, pressing his lips desperately to his. “I need you so badly, Michael,” he said once they had finally broke, and a moan erupted from Michael’s lips.

He immediately lined himself up, looking to Gavin for approval. Gavin wanted to slap him for being so thoughtful, as all he wanted in that moment was to feel Michael inside of him once more, as close to him as humanly possible. However, he resisted the urge and simply nodded quickly, yelping as Michael immediately slammed up into him, sinking all of him inside in one thrust.

“Are you okay with that?” he asked, kissing Gavin’s collarbone. “I won’t be so rough if you don’t want me to be. We can take this as slow or as quickly as you want to.”

“No, no, no,” Gavin whimpered. “You’re fine. It was just startling. Just move.”  Michael nodded and began to thrust slowly in and out, though each motion was even rougher than the one before. Soon, both Michael and Gavin were groaning with every thrust, their sounds mixing and filling the room.

“I’m so close,” Gavin whispered, and as soon as the words had been spoken, Michael began to increase his speed, and after several had hit Gavin’s prostate directly. Gavin couldn’t hold back the loud moan that came out of him, and he didn’t think that he could have even if he would have known the pleasure that was coming.

“Right there, Michael,” he pleaded. “Right there.”

Michael continued pounding into him, hitting his prostate with every thrust, and his hand wrapped around Gavin’s dick. He was overwhelmed with pleasure and was feeling everything all at once, and he came suddenly, moaning Michael’s name as he did so. It seemed that his clenching had triggered Michael’s own orgasm, because he was soon coming as well, still thrusting into Gavin as he fucked them through both of their orgasms.

Once they had both come down, Michael pulled out, collapsing on the bed next to Gavin. “Holy fuck, Gav,” he muttered.

“Same.”

They were both still breathing heavily when the doorbell rang.

\-------------------------

“Son of a bitch,” Michael groaned, rolling over onto his stomach and burying his head in the pillows. “Don’t I even get time to catch my breath?”

“I could get it, if you wanted.”

Michael groaned, shaking his head, and sat up. “That’s okay. I’ll get it. This is my apartment after all. He reached over to grab the wipes and cleaned himself off quickly, getting to his feet and pulling his boxers on.

His legs felt like jelly, and he looked to Gavin. “You don’t mind if I answer the door like this, do you?”  He grinned as color flooded into Gavin’s face, but he shook his head. “No, of course not. Go ahead.” He leaned over to kiss Gavin once more. Then the doorbell rang again.

“Goddamn! I’m fucking coming you piece of shit!” He yelled into the other room. “If this is a fucking noise complaint, there’s gonna be hell to pay!”

He was still muttering angrily to himself as he walked to the front door, swinging the door open. “What the fuck do you wa-” he cut himself off as he saw who was standing there.

Two police officers, arms crossed over their chests and glaring at him menacingly. Michael gulped. “Gavin?” he called over his shoulder.

“Yeah?”

“You might want to put some clothes on.”

He turned back to the men in front of him and put on a fake confused look. “Can I help you gentlemen?”

“Yes. Are you Michael Jones?”

Michael’s heart dropped, and for a moment, he considered denying it. But they’d just find out anyways. “Yep. That would be me.”

“We’re going to need you to let us in.”


	10. Chapter 10

As soon as Gavin heard the urgency in Michael’s voice, he froze. For a moment, he didn’t know what to do. Then he remembered what the man had said. Apparently whoever was at the door was coming in, and he should be prepared.

He tried to hurry out of bed, but his legs were still weak from his post - orgasm haze, and he was more sore than he had ever felt in his entire life. It was difficult to move, much less rush, but he finally managed to pull his boxers on. He paused, considering his options. Michael had went out in only boxers, and he could easily join him. However, he immediately pushed that thought out of his mind. He was going to feel awkward enough as it was. He struggled to put his pants on, though every inch of him was begging him not to.

Searching the floor for his shirt in the darkness proved to be a hassle, but he didn’t even consider the possibility of turning the light on. Logical thinking wasn’t even an option at this point - he was too far gone.

After about a minute, he was completely dressed, and though it had taken a bit less time than he would have wanted, he realized he was going to have to eventually join Michael. He only hesitated for a moment before pushing the door open.

Immediately, he froze. Standing in the entryway were two police officers, both glaring harshly. Michael himself looked much more intimidated than Gavin had ever seen him before, though he guessed that it was all just an act. The minute the door closed behind him, the officers looked up, their eyes scanning his body.

“Can you please take your fucking eyes off my boyfriend?” Michael snapped, losing any cool he may have had before. He gestured to Gavin. “Come over here, Gav.”

Gavin bit his lip before quickly strolling over to join the other man, standing as close to him as humanly possible without it becoming intimate. Michael looked up at him, and Gavin immediately knew what he meant. He was sending a message with his eyes, one that he could read loud and clear.

Let me do all the talking.

Gavin was perfectly happy to let Michael take over - it wasn’t that he thought that the other man had more experience with things of this matter, but there was something about the entire situation that was unsettling to him. In addition, Gavin wasn’t great with words, and often times ended up saying things that he didn’t want to. It would be best to let Michael take over.

So Gavin responded with a look of his own, telling Michael that he understood completely.

\------------------------

“Are you guys going to stop fucking gazing at each other, or what?” One of the officers finally spoke, but not before Michael was sure that Gavin had understood.

“Or what?” He snapped, turning back to them and giving them a death stare. Despite the fact that he had used such a retort just the previous day with Gavin, this was much different. Then it had been all in jest. But now it was flat out defiance. Michael knew that this was the last thing he should be doing - opposing the law when he was already in trouble with them.

The thought that he had drugs in just the other room didn’t help to ease his heart, which was now beating harder than he had ever thought possible. There was a possibility that they could both get out of this completely clean. He just had to play his cards right. Though with the way he had just snapped, there was a possibility he had fucked it up before they even started.

He extended his arm towards the couch. “Would you like to have a seat?”

The officers looked at each other before nodding, sitting down and folding their hands in their laps. Michael put his own hands behind his back, putting up both of his middle fingers in a silent fuck you, before sitting down on one of the chairs that also resided in his living room.

Gavin looked nervously around, and Michael had to try his best to hold back a chuckle. He beckoned him over to him, scooting over on the chair, making space for the man to sit beside him. Gavin breathed a sigh of relief, but Michael couldn’t blame him. He wouldn’t have wanted to sit on the couch with those assholes either.

Sliding his arm around Gavin’s waist as a sort of report, he turned to face the men. “So if you two could tell us what you’re doing here, that would be great. I’m still kind of unsure.”

“Well, we heard some rumors,” one of the men started.

“Rumors saying that you were dating someone, Michael.”  Michael raised an eyebrow. “Yeah? Okay. One, I don’t fucking know who would have figured that out,” Gavin giggled, and Michael resisted the urge to slap him. “But two, why the fuck do the police care? It’s none of your fucking business who I date, and if I am or not.”

“See, that’s where you’re wrong.”

Michael felt his entire body stiffen as he eyed them nervously. “What exactly do you mean by that?”  “Well, we happen to know that both of you are currently on emotions.”

Michael opened his mouth to speak, but he interrupted him.

“Don’t try to deny it, Michael. We can see it, just looking at the two of you right now. I have never seen a couple that touchy in my entire life, except if they’ve been taking affection. Sure, people have one night stands, and maybe even marry each other if the fucking is good enough. But that’s not the way you two act. You’re acting like you genuinely care about each other.”

_See, that’s where they’re wrong_ , Michael thought. _I’m not on affection. I’m on rage. And these two assholes can’t tell the fucking difference. But denying it isn’t going to do any good._

“So are you here to drag us off to jail?”

“Actually, no. We know what it’s like. We’ve seen couples act this way before. It’s understandable. You just wanted to feel something for each other. But unfortunately, that’s not the way things work. We’re here to separate you.”

\---------------------

Gavin had managed to keep his mouth shut the entire time, but when those words were spoken, he couldn’t contain himself. “What?” he exclaimed. He could feel Michael glaring at him, and the grip he had around his waist tightened. “Why would you do that?”

“Because,” the man responded. “If you go to jail, then you’ll still see each other, and that subconscious attraction will still be there. You boys have been bound to each other. You’ll never be able to have a deep attraction to anyone except the other, even with the drug. But if we separate you, neither of you will even feel a desire to take the drug, because it will only make you think of the other.”

“You can’t do that,” Michael’s voice rang out, but Gavin didn’t have the energy to back him up. “If we don’t take the drugs, we die. You of all people should know that.”

“Not our problem.”

The room fell into an uncomfortable silence. Gavin’s brain was racing in a million different directions, and he found it difficult to even think logically. Normally in a situation like this, he would go inject himself. However, with two officers sitting right in front of them, it wasn’t really an option.

“We’re going to take one of you with us,” the man was saying. “We have our reasons. That is our method of separation. That way you can’t make your way back to each other. We’ll let you choose which one of you goes.”

“You didn’t even fucking tell us about this!” Michael was yelling at this point. “This isn’t exactly public fucking knowledge! Maybe if you sons of bitches would have told us about this fucking law, which is complete bullshit by the way, then we wouldn’t have taken whatever fucking drugs you think we’re on!”

“From the looks of things, you’re on a little more than affection, son. Is that some rage I’m sensing? Impressive.”

Michael was on his feet in an instant, and Gavin only watched as he glared, clenching his fists and looking as if he was going to raise hell itself. “You can’t do this,” he repeated, this time trying to calm himself so that he was breathing normally. “This is fucking bullshit, and the two of you know it. Somewhere in those dark pits that you call hearts, you fucking know it. You can’t separate us. You can’t.”

“We can and we will.”

In an instant, Michael was rushing forwards, and one of the officers was on his feet. He punched him hard in the gut, knocking him backwards, struggling to breathe. “If you two can’t come to a decision on who is coming with us, we’ll take one of you by force.

\-------------------------

Michael was just about to rush forwards again when he heard a voice from behind him. “Will you give us time to say goodbye?”

He turned around quickly, and his heart sank when he saw that Gavin was also on his feet. The other man was looking down at the ground, and he was even more pale than Michael had ever seen him before. Normally his face was beet red, and Michael liked it better that way. This Gavin looked scared, and Michael wanted nothing more than to run over and gather him in his arms, comforting him and wiping away the tears he knew were probably forming.

But he didn’t. Things were bad enough already, he knew. Just giving them more proof that they were in a legitimate relationship wasn’t necessarily the way to go about it. However, he couldn’t stop himself from speaking up. “Come on, Gavin,” he said softly, trying to get the man to look at him.

When Gavin did lift his head, his eyes were red, much as Michael had expected. “No, Michael,” he murmured. “I need to know.”

He looked to the officers, and the desperation was blatant. “Please,” he whispered. “I’ll go with you. If you just give me time to talk to Michael. Alone.”

The men looked at each other, slightly hesitantly. Then they nodded slowly. “We’ll stand right outside the door. We won’t listen in, but if either of you try to escape, we’ll put you in two separate prisons a thousand miles apart. For life. Got it?”

When neither of the men responded, the officers left the house, closing the door behind them. Michael turned to Gavin, who looked even more worked up than he had before. “What the fuck, Gavin?” Michael practically shouted. “Why the hell would you agree to anything they have to say? The entire system is rigged! It’s bullshit!”

“I know that,” he said quietly. “I’ve heard.” His voice was choked, and it made Michael even angrier. Angry at the world, and the government, and everything else in between. He rushed forwards, wrapping his arms around the man in front of him, much as he had wanted to do before.

Gavin collapsed into his arms, burying his face in Michael’s neck. He heard the quiet sobs as his shirt started to become damp, and he finally pulled away, wiping the tears away from Gavin’s eyes. “It’ll be okay, Gavin,” he said softly into the man’s ear.

He didn’t believe a word.

\-----------------------

“You have to promise me something, Michael.”

“What’s that?”

“You have to keep getting your drugs.”

“But Gavin -”

“No! No buts!” Gavin’s voice was sharper than he intended it to be, and he felt his face fall immediately. He wanted to tell Michael everything, but there wasn’t time. He just needed to make sure that Michael would be okay.

He already felt guilty enough for rigging Michael’s drugs. He would feel even worse if Michael killed himself because of withdrawal, especially seeing as the length of time would be drastically shortened due to the blend.

“And I need you to get them from Dan.”

“I won’t be able to, Gavin!” Michael muttered, and Gavin thought he saw tears forming in the man’s eyes. When Michael wiped at them, he knew for a fact that he had, and it made him feel even worse. “Damn this rage!” he exclaimed. “It always makes me cry when I’m too angry!” Gavin knew that there was much more to it than that, but he wasn’t going to explain.

“Why can’t you, Michael?” he asked. “Please. Just do it for me.”

“I just fucking can’t,” he said, pulling Gavin closer and pushing his face into his chest. “Every time I see that asshole, I just know that I’ll only be able to think of you. I can’t put myself through that kind of stress. I’ll get them from someone else. But not Dan.”

“Michael,” Gavin said sharply, pushing the man away from him, staring him straight in the eye. “You can’t. Dan is one of the best dealers around. Besides me, of course. Everyone else just sells shit. You’ll end up in a hospital somewhere. I don’t know if I’d be able to live with that.”

“You don’t even know where they’re taking you.”

“I’ll find out soon enough.”

Just then, the door opened, and the men stood there, looking much more serious than they had before. “Okay boys. Time to go. That was plenty of time for a farewell.” Michael sucked in a sharp breath, and hugged Gavin even tighter.

“I’ll miss you, Gavin.” He leant up, acting as if he was going to kiss him on the cheek. “And don’t think for one minute that I won’t come for you,” he whispered, before turning his head and pushing their lips together. Gavin closed his eyes tightly, trying to ignore the gaping hole that he was already starting to feel in his chest.

The kiss could have gone on, but the officers were suddenly behind him, jerking on his arms and pulling him away. “I said it’s time to go, not time to make out,” a harsh voice said. “We can do this the easy way or the hard way. Easy way, you come with us without a hassle. Hard way, we use the handcuffs. Your pick.”

“I’m coming,” Gavin muttered, pulling his arms away and glaring at the men before following them through the front door. Before they closed it, however, Gavin caught a glimpse of Michael, eyes narrowed and fists clenched. He was the epitome of rage.


	11. Chapter 11

The minute Gavin was gone, Michael collapsed. It felt like his entire world was crumbling down around him, and there wasn’t anything really convincing him that it wasn’t. Gavin was the first person he had ever really felt anything for in his entire life, and despite the fact that it was completely brought about by a side effect of some drug, that didn’t change anything.

He wanted to run after the men - to completely tell them off and rant at them until they let Gavin go. But there wasn’t any chance of that happening. Michael still wasn’t convinced that they weren’t dragging him off to prison somewhere, despite what he said. And it was all Michael’s fault.

If he had just controlled himself - controlled his urges - then neither of them would be in this situation right now. However, as he had nowhere else to turn, he decided to go to the only place he felt comfortable. His drugs.

Rushing to the bedroom, he felt a craving deeper than anything he had ever experienced before. He felt as if he was trying to fill a hole in his heart with the drugs, and as bad of an idea as he knew that was, he couldn’t control himself.

Quickly preparing a needle, he injected himself immediately. There was no buildup, not even a probing to find the correct vein. He simply stabbed it into his arm and hoped for the best. Closing his eyes, he allowed the feeling to overtake him, and, for a moment, he wished that it would just kill him now.

Anything would be better than the pain he was feeling right now. Then he remembered what he had said to Gavin. He had promised that he would come for him. There wasn’t even any telling where they were taking him, much less where he could go to save him.

Beginning to regret his words, he did the only thing he could think of.

He called Dan.

\-------------------------

The walk out to the police car was completely silent, as Gavin sure as hell wasn’t going to be the one to start a conversation. He was genuinely angry for the first time in his life, and for a moment he realized why Michael liked rage so much.

There was something about it that was encouraging, and it felt good. But what didn’t feel good was being separated from the only person he had ever liked. He had tried to care for people before, using drugs, but it had never worked for him. No one was ever enough for him. Perhaps there was a physical attraction, but never an emotional one.

One of the men grabbed Gavin’s arm, pushing him harshly into the back seat of their car. Gavin jerked his arm away. “I’ve been good this whole time,” he snapped. “There’s no need to get touchy now.”

“You seemed to be pretty touchy with your boyfriend back there.”

“Yeah, because he’s my fucking boyfriend. And I’m not pissed off at him like I am at you two.”

The man looked at him for a moment before he responded. “Are you on rage too, son?”

“No, sir.”

“There’s no need denying the facts. You’re already in enough trouble as it is. I would recommend doing your best to avoid making it worse.” 

“I’m not denying anything. I am telling the complete truth.”

“Then what are you on? Because you’re far too angry. That’s not normal.”  Actually, it is normal. You just don’t like for people to think that it is. Gavin closed his eyes, trying to calm himself as best he could. “I’m unique.”

“Gavin. What are you taking? We have ways of making you talk, just in case you’re interested. I would suggest spilling it before it’s too late.”

Gavin swallowed hard, looking out the window as the scenery passed by. It seemed to calm him temporarily, and he managed to choke out a reply. “Everything. I’m taking everything.” He knew he was twisting the truth a little bit, but he didn’t really care.

The only thing he wanted in that moment was for these two men to be scared of him. And, judging by the looks they shot each other, he had met his goal.

\------------------------

“Michael! Michael, calm down!” Dan’s voice was sharp, and Michael could tell that he was irritated. In any other situation, he would have asked what he was taking, but in that moment, it didn’t really matter.

“I can’t fucking calm down, Dan!” he exclaimed, his voice becoming louder as he yelled into his phone. He had gotten into his car as he started to dial the number Gavin had given him for emergencies, and now he was on his way to the house. “They took him!” 

“What are you talking about? Who’s they? And who did they take?” 

“The fucking government! A couple of assholes came over claiming something about some shitty law. Then they took Gavin.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I don’t fucking understand, either! I’ve never heard of this fucking thing before in my life, and then they show up at my door and take my boyfriend away from me! What kind of shit is that?” 

“I still don’t even know what law you’re talking about, Michael.”

Michael pulled into the driveway of the house he had been at just the previous day, though the circumstances had been so much happier. “I’ll tell you in a minute,” he replied, turning off the car and exiting, slamming the door hard behind him.

The entire car shook, but Michael obviously didn’t give a fuck. “I’m here anyways.” Then he hung up. He strolled over to the front of the house, turning the knob and pushing the door open without even knocking. Dan stood in the entryway and jumped at the sound, his eyes wide.

His hands immediately jumped up into a defensive position, and Michael rolled his eyes. “I’m not here to fucking steal your damn shit. I just want to fucking talk about Gavin.”

Dan still looked extremely startled, but he had managed to relax. “What even happened? I’m still confused.”

Michael threw his hands up in frustration. “I don’t even fucking know. Gavin and I had just...”

“You had just fucked,” Dan prodded. “Whatever, I don’t care. That’s not the point. What happened?” 

“I don’t even know. I got out of bed because someone was ringing the doorbell and there were a couple of cops there. I thought they were coming because of the rage, you know? I thought I could throw them off the trail, so I let them come in. Turns out that there’s some unofficial law that if anyone becomes attracted to someone via a drug, then they have to be separated. But that’s the fucking thing. I think it was just some weird side effect of my rage. I wasn’t taking fucking attraction. Is that even a thing?”

Dan hesitated, and looked as if he was about to say something. However, he quickly shrugged, and looked back to Michael. “I don’t know,” he said slowly, and Michael had an almost uncontrollable urge to punch him. However, he was able to contain himself.

“What do you mean, you don’t fucking know?” 

“I mean, I don’t know. Why are you even here?”

Michael clenched his hands together. “Because Gavin fucking told me to. He said that besides him, you were the best drug dealer around.” He looked to the ground. “I just wanted to let you know that I’m going to be getting my drugs from you now.”

“And you’re not fucking going to do anything about Gavin?” 

“Of course I’m going to do something about Gavin!” Michael shouted. “I promised him that I’d come for him! Don’t think for a fucking moment that I’m going to break that promise.”

\----------------------------

Gavin swallowed hard, his hands in his pockets. Rolling his fingers around, he felt the bags that currently resided there. He heard the officers murmuring things to each other, but he was far too caught up in his own world to worry about what they had to say.

There was still some of his own blend left, and he had stolen some of Michael’s rage. He knew that it was a bad idea to even consider taking something that potent, but he was getting truly desperate. The men he was currently with didn’t really seem to give a fuck, so the thought of getting caught with the drugs seemed highly unlikely.

Besides, they seemed extremely interested in what he had said before. The man who wasn’t driving turned around, looking Gavin straight in the eye. “My partner and I have had a bit of discussion here,” he started, and Gavin rolled his eyes.

“I couldn’t care less.”

“- and we don’t believe that you’re actually on everything. That’s impossible. You would die of an overdose in minutes. We’ve tried.”

_They’ve tried?_ Gavin’s brain tried to distract him. _Why would they be trying to do something like that?_ However, he managed to shrug it off, and respond to the man’s words. “You don’t overdose the way I do it.” 

“How do you do it?”

“It’s a secret.” 

“Did you learn it from your dealer?”

“I’m my own dealer.”

“So you’re admitting to dealing emotion?”

“I didn’t admit anything of the sort,” Gavin exclaimed, then clamped his mouth tightly shut. He wasn’t going to speak to either of the men anymore during this car trip if he could help it.

The man continued to prompt him, trying to get him to say something that would get him in trouble in the long run. However, he simply ignored his words, staring out the window. When they had first entered the vehicle and began to drive, Gavin had tried to pay attention to where exactly they were going.

Gavin had lost track soon after. Not only did he not have the best memory in the world, but the paths that they had taken had been twisting and suspicious - Gavin wouldn’t have been surprised if he found out that they were actually only five minutes away, and had taken an out of the way path.

When the car finally came to a stop, they were parked in front of an extremely worn down building. A warehouse in the middle of nowhere. It didn’t seem as if there was anyone around for miles.

“This doesn’t look like a police station,” Gavin said, eyeing the building nervously.

The driver turned around and grinned. “Oh yeah,” he said, his smile growing wider still. “I always forget to mention that. We’re not exactly your traditional officers.”

\-------------------------

Dan and Michael both still stood in the entryway of the house, staring at each other. Michael had an angry scowl plastered across his face, and Dan looked as if he was simply trying to understand just what was going on.

“Michael,” Dan said soothingly, taking a step back when the man glared at him. “I’m not the bad guy here. I’m just trying to look at things logically.”

“Some friend you are,” Michael muttered, turning on his heel and beginning to walk away.

“No! Michael!” Dan exclaimed, rushing forwards and catching the other man by the arm. Again, he immediately shrank back the minute he saw the look on the other man’s face. Surprisingly, it didn’t shut him up. “It’s not that a bad friend. Gavin is like a fucking brother to me. It was weird to me when I didn’t see his stupid ass face when I woke up yesterday morning. I don’t like it. But I’m looking at this for the good of us all.” 

“How is doing nothing helping anything?”

“It works a lot better than just walking into a fucking police station and demanding someone back! You don’t even know if he’s there!”

As soon as Michael heard the words, he knew they were true and he sunk back, leaning against the wall. “I know,” he whispered. “That’s what scares me the most. I made a promise that I would find him, but I’m not fucking smart enough, Dan. I’m fucking stupid when it comes to stuff like this. I’m street smart, and I can figure things out. But I’m not a fucking detective.”

“We’ll figure it out, okay?” Dan asked, putting his hands on Michael’s shoulders, forcing him to look at him. “You can stay in Gavin’s old room until then, if it makes you feel any better.”

“I don’t need your financial assistance.”

“That’s not what I was implying. I was just thinking that reminders of him wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing.”

Michael hesitated, though only slightly. Then he nodded. “Okay,” he said. “I’ll go get some of my stuff from my house. And I’ll be back.”

\---------------------

“What do you mean by that?” Gavin asked, swallowing hard. He had pieced the majority of it together in his own head, but he just wanted to make sure that he wasn’t jumping to conclusions when there really wasn’t anything to be worried about. “You are still officers, right?” 

“In a sense.” 

“I don’t -” 

“We’re not cops. But we work with them. We get information out of people. We made you think that this entire thing was about Michael and you. It was, in a sense. That was a lot of it. But when we discovered that it was _the_ Gavin Free, we had an opportunity. And we pounced.” 

“What opportunity?” 

“As you said on the ride over. You found a way to feel emotion again. We need you to tell us how that is. So we can stop it.” The man smiled broadly. “I’m sure you’ll be willing to comply, right?”  Gavin bit his lip.

“What happens if I don’t play along?” 

“I don’t think you want to find out.”


	12. Chapter 12

Michael didn’t intend to go back to his house, despite what he had told Dan. Not at first, at least. There were much more important things to deal with. He needed to find Gavin, and the only people who knew his location were the police. Agreeing with Dan had only been to get him off his back. He was planning on taking him up on his offer of a place to stay, despite the fact that he wasn’t really in need of it.

As he drove towards the station, he heard his phone start to ring. Sighing, he picked it up. “Hello?”  “Michael.”  “Dan, seriously? I’m just going to get my fucking stuff. Calm the hell down.”

“I’m not an idiot.” 

“What are you talking about?” 

“I know you’re not going to listen to me. If my assumptions are correct, you’re on your way to the police right now. I’m telling you that it’s a bad idea.”

“I’m doing what I know that I have to,” Michael exclaimed. “What other way is there for us to fucking find Gavin?”

“I don’t know, man. But we’ll figure it out. Like I said, I want to get him back just as badly as you do. Just walking in and demanding him back isn’t going to float well.”

“Just be ready to come bail me out,” With that, Michael hung up. A few seconds later, it rang again, but he ignored it. Nothing was going to get in the way of his finding Gavin. At least, nothing but himself.

Pulling into the parking lot, he took a deep breath, leaning back and trying his best to calm himself. If Dan had been right about anything, it was that his yelling wasn’t going to do any good. The fact that he had just taken rage wasn’t helping with his nerves, but it had felt good in the moment.

He could have thought this through a bit better.

\-----------------------

Gavin swallowed hard as the men grabbed him by the arms, pulling him out of the car. “I’ll still come quietly,” he muttered. “There’s still no need to get aggressive.”

“That’s weird,” one of the men said. “Normally by this point, people are trying to run. You don’t seem to be doing anything of the kind. Why aren’t you running, Gavin? Can you explain that?”

He shrugged, biting his lower lip and refusing to make eye contact. “I just want Michael to be safe. You guys promise to leave him alone, right? If I stay with you?”

“We promise. As long as he doesn’t come searching for us, he’ll be perfectly fine.”

Gavin’s mind reminded him of what Michael had said to him in their last few moments they had spent together. He had made a promise. A promise that he would come for him. He desperately wished that he could be back in that moment, just so that he could tell him not to. As much as he wanted to be reunited with his boyfriend, he wanted for him to be safe even more.

He hoped that he had listened to his advice and called Dan. Knowing Michael though, it didn’t really matter. Even if he had talked to Dan, Gavin knew that the two wouldn’t get along. Their personalities were too conflicting; Michael was purely driven by rage and his impulses, while Dan was much more thought driven.

Walking through the doors of the warehouse was one of the hardest things he ever did, but he managed it just the same.

“So what exactly are you going to do with me?” Gavin asked hesitantly. “Would you let me go if I decide to talk?”

“You’re going to talk. But if you must know, then it highly depends upon your cooperation. If you tell us everything you know about drugs, and don’t give us any trouble, then we’ll let you go, sure. You still won’t be able to see Michael again, and you’ll be under high surveillance. But you’ll be free.

You could go sleep around, find someone who’s a good fuck. Then you marry them and settle down, and forget all about your ex-boyfriend.”

“He’s not my ex,” Gavin snapped. “And if those are your conditions, I don’t see why I would want to listen to anything you have to say. I’ll go wherever you want me to, but you can’t make me talk.”

The man shrugged. “We can do a lot of things that you’re not yet aware of. You believe whatever you want to believe, but once you feel the pain we can deal out, you’ll change your mind soon enough.”

Gavin felt his entire body tense as he heard the words. He didn’t like the idea of the concepts he was hearing, and it was really making him nervous. “Who’s in charge around here?” he finally managed. “It sure as hell isn’t one of you two.”

“And what would make you say that?”

“Just the way you act. You’re working under someone, I’m sure of it. And I want to talk to him as soon as possible. I’m certainly not saying anything before then.”

The men looked at each other hesitantly, but before they were able to say a word, Gavin heard quick, short footsteps coming from behind them.

\----------------------

Michael strolled up the front desk, pounding his fists on the surface as soon as he got there. The woman behind the table jumped, scattering papers all over the floor. She blushed madly, and Michael couldn’t help but feel slightly sorry for her. One of the only things she was able to feel was embarrassment. He had grown so used to rage that it was near second nature to him.

“Do you have someone in custody here by the name of Gavin Free?”  The woman looked up from where she had knelt down to retrieve her papers, and shook her head. “I’m sorry sir, but we’re not allowed to reveal any information about our suspects.”

“He’s not a fucking suspect. He’s my fucking boyfriend, and a couple of your officers came by my apartment a couple hours ago and took him in.”  The woman stood, brushing the dust off of her black skirt. However, the look on her face was one of confusion. “Sir, like I said before. I’m not allowed to reveal any information about the people we’re holding. But I can tell you that no one has been brought in for a couple of days.”

Michael felt the confusion starting to build up inside of him and he raised an eyebrow. “You’re sure?” 

“Yes sir.”

“Then who the fuck took my boyfriend?”  The girl jumped at the sharpness in his voice, and nervously tucked a lock of brown hair behind her ear.

“I’m not sure, sir. Would you like to file a missing persons report?” 

“I sure as fuck would like to have a damn missing persons report filed,” Michael shouted. What the hell kind of a question is that? You’re basically telling me that my boyfriend was fucking kidnapped! He’s not even a fucking kid! What the fuck is this shit?” Michael realized that his yelling was probably scaring the girl, but at that point, he didn’t really give a fuck.

He knew that he was probably putting himself into a bad situation by showing them that he was on rage, but all he could think about was Gavin. The woman timidly extended a sheet of paper. “Fill that out,” she squeaked, then swallowed hard. “Give it back when you’re done, and we’ll make sure that we let our officers know about it.”

Michael threw up his hands in frustration, muttering angrily as he walked away, sticking up his middle finger as people stared. He didn’t want to deal with their shit right now. He sat himself down in a chair, resting one of his ankles on the opposite knee, creating a sort of desk for himself.

The minute he looked at the questions on the form, he knew he was fucked. He had realized that there was a lot that he didn’t know about his boyfriend, but he didn’t realize how much of a stranger he really was.

\------------------------

Gavin whirled around the minute he heard the footsteps, as much as the other men tried to prevent it. He was too quick for them, however, and soon found himself face to face with a woman. He forced himself to blink a few times, just to make sure that he wasn’t imagining things.

She wasn’t too much shorter than him, and she had bright red, wavy hair. Her eyes were a piercing green, and she was dressed rather simply; a black tee shirt, jeans, and a lab coat. A pair of safety goggles was balanced on her head.

She didn’t fit in. She was far too pretty to be found in a place such as this, and Gavin was surprised when she spoke.  “It’s nice to meet you, Gavin,” she said smoothly, the corners of her mouth tugging upwards. “I’ve heard so much about you, and I can’t wait to hear what you have to say.”

It took some time for Gavin to recover, and he found himself speaking before he even knew he was doing so. “You know what my name is?” he asked, mentally slapping himself for how stupid he sounded. He wanted to make a good impression, and it didn’t seem like he had done that.

A high pitched stutter sounded from the woman’s lips, and she nodded. “Yes, of course,” she finally said. “I am in charge here, after all. I’ve heard so much about you.”

“I wish I could say the same about you.”

“My name is Amanda, if you must know,” she said with a smile.

“I didn’t ask.” 

“But you were thinking it.”  Gavin wanted to roll his eyes, but he couldn’t bring himself to get on this woman’s bad side. She seemed to have great importance, judging by how the men who had once acted as his bodyguards were acting around her.

“I can tell you want to ask something,” she said. “If you would like to make a request, I would ask that you do it now, before we get started.”

“I just had a question about Michael.”

A look of disgust found its way to Amanda’s face, and any respect that Gavin may have had for her instantly vanished. She had insulted Michael, after all. “Ah yes,” she said, waving a hand irritably in his direction. “The boyfriend.”

“My boyfriend, yes,” Gavin replied, emphasizing the word 'my'. “I need to be able to see him again. At some point.”

“I’m afraid that’s not possible. Didn’t those two tell you that?” she asked, waving her hand in the direction of the two men standing there with their hands folded.

“Of course they told me. But I’m not going to settle for that. If you want any information out of me, you have to promise me that I’ll see him again.”

“I’ll do nothing of the sort,” she exclaimed, her voice indignant. “If I must, I will promise that we won’t kill him.”

“Why on earth would you kill him?” Gavin’s tone was urgent, and the concern was plain in his tone and on his face. “He never did anything to you!”

“But he’s a distraction to you, Gavin!” she exclaimed, taking a step forwards, and brushing her fingers over his face. “Don’t you see that? You could do so much good for humanity, but you’re obsessed with a person who doesn’t care about you.”

Gavin pushed her hand away, ignoring the offended look she shot him. “That’s a lie,” he snapped. “Michael does care about me.”

“We know that you gave him affection, Gavin.”

Glaring angrily at the ground, Gavin managed a response. “That’s none of your business. Besides, you know just as well as I do how emotions work. When you take them, you’re not giving the person that emotion, you’re just revealing what’s already inside of them.”

“Very good,” Amanda murmured. “So he does know some things.”

Biting his lip, Gavin resisted the urge to slap himself. He had meant to keep everything he knew a secret, and he was already failing.

“Very well,” Amanda said, seemingly out of nowhere. “I suppose I could make an exception.”

“Excuse me?”

“If you are willing to talk, we’ll let you call Michael.”

“Ma’am,” one of the men interjected. “I’m not sure -”

“Quiet,” she snapped, glaring at him harshly. He shrunk back. “I make the rules around here. You know that. If I say it’s okay, it’s fine.”

“When can I call him?”

“Right now, if you wish.”

\------------------------

They were basic questions, really, when it came down to it. But Michael didn’t even know how old Gavin was, much less what medical history he had. Really, he didn’t see how it mattered, but he did his best to fill out the information that he did know.

Which mostly consisted of his physical appearance.

Just as he was about to get to his feet to return the paper, his phone began to ring. In a huff, he almost denied it before he even saw the contact number. He had thought that it would be Dan, trying to talk him out of something he was already in the middle of.

However, in it’s place was an unknown number.

Normally, Michael would have ignored it. But as he was in a desperate position, he didn’t think he should pass up any possibility of talking with Gavin’s kidnappers.

“Yo. This is Michael. Shoot.”

“Michael?”

“Gavin!” Michael was on his feet in a second, the clipboard clattering to the ground. “Where the fuck are you? Are you hurt?”  Several disapproving glances were shot at him from around the room, but he ignored them, pushing his way past a couple at the door, and exiting the building as quickly as possible.

“No, Michael, I’m fine.”

“How are you calling me? I thought you were fucking kidnapped or some shit.”

“In a way, I was.” 

“Are you okay? Where are you?” Michael knew that he was repeating himself at this point, but he really couldn’t care less. He was on the phone with his boyfriend, and he was alive. That was all he could ask for.  “I’m well enough. The people keeping me captive are here right now, so even if I knew where I was, I wouldn’t be able to tell you.”

Michael froze from where he had been trying to hurriedly insert a key into his car door. Gavin’s captors were there right then, probably listening in to every word. “Why are you calling, Gav? I’m sure they wouldn’t let you call for just anything.” 

“I made a deal with them. I’ll tell them what I know about drugs, just so that I could call you.”

“Just this one time?”

“Just this one time.”

Michael felt his heart drop. Whereas it had previously been going at what seemed to be a million beats a second, it now felt as if it had stopped completely. “What did you want to tell me?”

“Don’t come after me.” 

“You know I can’t leave you, Gavin. I - I love you too much.”  There was a long silence, and Michael wondered if it had been too much to tell him that he loved him so soon. But after how he was feeling at having him gone, he felt as if it was appropriate.

The voice finally responded, but it was quavering, and the very thought of the pain that was currently on the other man's face broke Michael’s heart in two. “That’s just why you can’t come after me.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” 

“They’re threatening you, Michael. If you come, and they find you, they’ll kill you. You can’t come. Because I won’t be able to live with myself if you die because of me. Do what’s best for the both of us.”

Michael’s eyes were filling with tears, and he fought desperately to keep them back. “No, Gavin!” he shouted. “Let me talk to these sons of bitches! I need to give them a piece of my mind!” 

“Michael. I love you-”

“Gavin, no!” 

“-but this is goodbye. For good. Forget me. Though I’ll never be able to forget you."

Then the line went dead.

Michael couldn’t control the tears that came to his eyes and the sobs that wracked his body. He sunk to the ground, and allowed himself to dispose of the pain that had been building inside of him for his entire life.


	13. Chapter 13

It took everything inside of Gavin to resist the urge to throw the phone across the room the minute he hung up. The last thing he had heard were the sobs of the only person he cared about. And he had just told him that they were through before they had really even started. Gavin was starting to experience what it was like to feel true rage.

He handed the phone to one of the men standing by his side, and crossed his arms over his chest. Amanda was the one to break the silence. “I must say, Gavin. I wasn’t exactly expecting you to handle the situation in such a dignified manner.”  Gavin could feel the tears starting to sting his eyes, and he was trying desperately to keep himself under wraps. The idea that he had given himself in to a couple of men who weren’t even actual agents was already wearing on him. He was going to try his best to not give them any more encouragement.

“Gavin?” Amanda was speaking again.

“What?” 

“Why did you do that?”

“Why the fuck do you think?” he asked angrily, refusing to make eye contact. “For the very reason that I thought I was being brought here in the first place. Because I genuinely care about him. And I don’t want him to get hurt.” 

“You have my word that we won’t touch him.”

Gavin hesitated, though only slightly. He didn’t know how trustworthy this woman was, and it was kind of starting to get to him. However, he decided to trust her words.

“So we’re going to start out very simple,” she continued. “How dangerous are all the drugs, starting with the least dangerous, and ending with the one that almost always results in a suicide?”

Gavin hesitated. For a moment, he had thought about telling her, but then he had formed a plan in his mind. One that was sure to work. “Why would I tell you?” He asked suddenly, raising an eyebrow. “I don’t have anything to lose.”

The two men that were standing beside him moved the slightest bit closer, both taking a solid grip on each of his arms. This time, he didn’t resist, just continued staring at Amanda, smiling as a look of confusion washed over her face. “Excuse me?”

“I said that I don’t have anything to lose.” 

“But Michael -”

“You gave me your word that you would leave Michael alone. From what I’ve been able to piece together, you still work for the government, despite the fact you’re not officers like I originally thought. You won’t go after him, and he’s not going to come looking for me. Because I told him not to.”

The confusion that had been on the woman’s face was immediately replaced with one of anger, and Gavin almost wondered if she knew his drug recipe after all. She was much too fluid with her motions for it to all be an act.

“Gavin. Don’t do this. We will be forced to make you experience more pain than you’ve ever felt in your life. You’re a threat. In all senses of the word.”

Gavin shrugged, and for the first time in his life, he actually felt sure of a decision that he was making. “That’s part of the reason I told Michael not to come after me.”

“What are you talking about now?”

“I’m pretty sure I’m going to die here. Because I’m not going to say a word. I wouldn’t want Michael seeing that, now would I?”

\-------------------------

It took Michael a lot longer than he wanted to admit to recover. He had never cried that hard in his entire life - he had phases, as he had mentioned to Gavin, where he would get so angry that he would tear up. But nothing this extreme.

Strangely, that wasn’t the only thing that was different. This time, he didn’t feel angry. The only word he could think of to explain the emotion he was feeling was sad. He didn’t know what sorrow felt like, but if he had to guess, it would be this.

Or perhaps it was separation anxiety. That was a possibility as well.

For a moment, he considered walking back into the station to file the report he had left on the floor. However, in the long run, he didn’t believe it would be worth it.

As he drove down the street towards his house, his mind started to go over what Gavin had told him. There was no way in hell he was going to leave him. He was at his own apartment in a matter of minutes, still pondering how he was going to get his boyfriend back.

Despite the fact it had sounded like Gavin was breaking things off with him, Michael still considered Gavin his boyfriend. Gavin had never specifically said that they were breaking up, or anything of the kind.

Even if he had, Michael still would have went looking for him. He whole heartedly believed that his words had everything to do with the situation, and not with how he really felt. If that was the case, he never would have accepted Michael’s request in the first place.

He rushed into his apartment, taking a bad and beginning to stuff all of his clothing into it. His eyes scanned the rooms, as he wanted to make sure he wasn’t forgetting anything important. However, the very thought of the apartment was enough to make him uncomfortable.

Though he would never admit it to Dan, he was extremely grateful for his offer of a place to stay. Not only would he be able to see things that would remind him of his boyfriend, but he would have another person around that wanted to get him back just as badly as he did. He would say that Dan wanted him back more, but he didn’t believe it for a second.

He had known the man for a total of three days, and it already felt wrong being separated from him.

\-------------------------

Just a few minutes after Gavin’s announcement had been made, he had been locked into a room, to supposedly think over the consequences of his actions. The entire concept was extremely childish in his mind, and there was something about the entire situation that just seemed off. It was like nobody was all the way there.

The thought frightened Gavin, though only a bit. He had already accepted his fate. In fact, he had done that far before he even told his captors what he was planning. He knew it was risky, and there wasn’t a doubt in his mind that it would end in death.

That didn’t mean that he couldn’t put up a fight.

Gavin studied the small room. The walls and floor were both made of stone, and a single, dim lightbulb hung from the middle of the ceiling. There were a few stains on the floors that were vaguely reminiscent of blood, and Gavin felt a shiver travel through his body. He was okay with the concept of his own death, but the idea that there were others before him was almost too much for him to bear.

There were a few pairs of handcuffs hanging from the walls, and Gavin sat on the wall opposite them. He didn’t want to be any closer to them than need be.

The minute the door had closed behind him, Gavin’s brain had already started working. His captors weren’t aware of it yet, but they would be soon enough. If he had to die, then fine. But he was sure as hell going to try his best to avoid it.

_Come on Gavin, think. You don’t need other people to fight your battles for you. You’re a smart guy. Always have been. You came up with a way to make people feel emotion normally, for fuck’s sake. You can come up with a way to get out of this damn room._

His fingers brushed over one of the needles currently in his coat pocket, and he pulled it out hesitantly. Rage. The solution was pure black, and he had mixed it up before he had left the room at Michael’s apartment. He didn’t know why it had seemed so important at the time - he supposed it was just something about the urgency in Michael’s tone.

He knew he was probably going to have to inject himself with the pure substance, as much as he hated the idea. Michael was attractive when he was on rage, but that was different. At least in that case, the man had already been on the emotion. There was no way that Gavin would have encouraged it.

It was too potent, and it caused people to do crazy things. Michael had seemed to have a strange reaction to it, where it almost calmed him down in a sense. Until someone said something wrong. Then he went off completely. For a moment, Gavin wondered if it was him.

He would have liked for it to be him.

A life force that canceled out the potency of a drug. But that was impossible, of course. He knew that. Many experiments had been done, trying to help people recover from the drugs. But it had never been done.

That was part of why Gavin was constantly worrying about Michael. Internally, at least. No doubt, he was going to die young. Gavin hadn’t wanted to get too attached, because the rage was going to kill him.

\----------------------

“Amanda, we have to be reasonable.”

“Did I say that this was up for questioning?”

“No, but that’s beside the point.”

“Why do you always talk?” She snapped. “I’m tired of hearing your opinions. What about your partner? Doesn’t he ever talk?”

The man spoke up hesitantly. “I do sometimes, Ma’am.”

She waved him off. “I want you to go out and find Michael. We might not be able to legally kill him, no. But we can say that we’re bringing him in for questioning. If Gavin sees his boyfriend being tortured, right in front of him, he’ll definitely talk.”

“Again, I don’t know if that’s the best idea.”

“And again, I don’t care. You do as I say. That’s the way it works. It’s always been that way, and it always will be. So stop arguing and get going.”

“Ma’am?”

“Oh, he’s talking!”

“Yes Ma’am,” the man stammered, shifting his weight nervously from foot to foot. “I just had a quick question.”

“What is it?”  “You’re not planning on talking to Gavin while we’re gone, are you? It’s not that I don’t trust you, but it’s more that I don’t trust him.”

“I’m a lot stronger than I look. I don’t know yet if I’ll talk to the man or not, but if I do, then I’ll be able to take care of myself. Thanks for worrying about me, though. That’s nice of you. Now I want the two of you to leave my sight. Immediately. I don’t want to see you back here unless you have Michael with you.”

\-------------------------

Michael was a lot more reckless than he normally would have been. Normally, he wouldn’t have been drinking while he was driving. Normally, he would have looked for other cars. Normally, he would have started to stop his car a little earlier for the traffic light.

But it wasn’t a normal day.

Despite the fact that the collision hadn’t been too bad, the other man was already out of his car and making a fuss. The police had already been called, Michael was sure. He wasn’t angry, as would be the custom. This man obviously wasn’t on drugs. He just seemed upset.

Michael, on the other hand, was pissed.

He knew, somewhere inside of him, that it wasn’t the other man’s fault. He knew that it was his fault. He had been the one that was drinking and driving. But he hadn’t been able to help it. The beers in his fridge had been far too tempting, and he had chugged a couple before heading out.  
A couple more may have followed him into the car. However, he hadn’t been expecting an accident, what with everything that had been happening lately. It didn’t seem like his life could get any worse.

But apparently it could.

Michael got out of his car, glaring angrily at the damage. There wasn’t much, but it was enough for the police to get involved. They would see that he had been drinking, and would most likely also deduce that he was on drugs. He couldn’t deal with that right now. Not with Gavin being in trouble like he was.

And so, Michael did what he always did when he got himself into a tough situation. He started running. And he didn’t look back.


	14. Chapter 14

It was a day later before Gavin heard from anyone. He hadn’t expected his captors to be quite so harsh right out of the gate, but he was more than willing to deal with it. He had made his decision and was sticking to it, no matter what difficulties they might throw at him.

However, the minute he heard a key in the lock, he was on his feet. He felt slightly lightheaded, but the silence had given him time to plan. If he was going to escape, he was going to do it now. The door swung open, and Amanda stood there with a tray of food in her hands.

She smiled sweetly, and Gavin only rolled his eyes. Her fake kindness was really starting to bother him. “I brought you some food,” she said, setting it down on the floor. “I hope you’re getting ready to start talking.”

“You’re going to need to do a lot more than lock me in a room to get me to talk.”

She took a step closer, caressing Gavin’s cheek gently. “I wouldn’t tempt me,” she whispered. “You don’t want to see what I can do.”

At that moment, Gavin took the needle of rage out of his pocket. He had been waiting for the right moment to use it, and now seemed to be the time. He didn’t use his normal patience when injecting - there wasn’t time. Instead, he just stabbed the needle into his arm and hoped that it wouldn’t kill him.

The rage took him over in an instant, and the sensation was unlike anything he had ever experienced before. He didn’t like it at all, but he knew that it was necessary. Working completely on instinct, he reached out and shoved Amanda to the ground, taking her by complete surprise. She had seen what he was doing, but was too slow to stop him.

Luckily, the door was open, and he was able to make it out of the cell. He looked around quickly for a moment before shutting the cell door behind him, locking the woman inside. She was pounding on the door a moment later, demanding to be let out.

“Shut the hell up,” he muttered angrily, strolling away and trying to not care about the words that were coming out of his mouth. However, the fact that he was on rage didn’t change who he was inside. The idea that he would have to be like this for the rest of his life, if he wanted to live, was enough to make him want to cry right then and there.

He wondered what Michael was like when he was off of rage. Was he like this? Crazed and confused, and not sure of what was happening? Or was rage who he really was?

As all of this had been happening, Gavin had found himself making his way towards the exit of the building. However, he immediately turned around, looking around for his phone that his captors had confiscated after his arrival. He would call Michael; he’d know what to do.

\--------------------

When Michael’s phone rang, he wasn’t exactly in a good position for answering. Once he had escaped from the police the night before, he had immediately ran back to Dan’s place, and explained to him everything that had happened. As much as he hated to admit it, Michael kind of liked having someone to vent to.

Dan didn’t fight when all he needed was to rant. He understood. And Michael appreciated that. However, it still didn’t take his mind away from Gavin. His mind hadn’t been able to relax the previous night, and he hadn’t slept a wink. Not that he had been expecting to.

And now, here he was, with the same people that had taken his boyfriend away from him, hot on his tail. He had spotted them following him a few blocks back, as he was exiting a convenience store. Then he had broken into a run. They had followed after him, just showing him that they were indeed after him.

He didn’t know exactly what they wanted from him, but that was why he was hiding behind a trash bin in an alley, trying to make himself as small as possible. They had just turned around to leave when the phone had rang.

They were on him in a matter of seconds.

“Answer the phone,” one of the men growled, yanking him to his feet. “And don’t let whoever it is know that we’re here. We’ll kill you. Or your boyfriend. Whichever is most effective.”

Michael was ready to tell them to kill him right then and there, but the minute Gavin was mentioned, he was nodding, and looked down to see who it was that was calling. Gavin. He inhaled sharply, and the men looked at each other.

“Who is it?”

For a moment, Michael considered lying to them. But if they ever found out, both he and his boyfriend would be in trouble. “It’s Gavin.”

“What does he want? How is he calling?”

Michael shrugged. “How the fuck should I know? He’s the one that’s calling me.” 

“Then pick up the damn phone.”  Rolling his eyes, Michael complied. “Bossy,” he muttered, before flipping the phone open. “Gavin?”

“Michael! Thank God you’re okay.”

“Yeah. Okay. More or less.” 

“What the hell does that mean?”

“Those assholes that took you in are here for me now.”

“What? Let me fucking talk to them!” Gavin was shouting now, and Michael noticed that there was something different about that.

“Gavin? Are you okay?”

“What? Of course I’m fucking okay.”

“Are you on rage?”

There was a long pause, and finally the response came. “I injected myself in order to escape. I could make a run for it right now. But I can’t, now that I know they have you.”

Michael could have face palmed. “Gavin! Do you know what you’ve done to yourself? Now you have to keep injecting yourself, whether you want to or not! That was a fucking dick move, Gavin!”

“I’’m sorry,” Gavin muttered after a moment. “I wasn’t thinking. I just wanted us to be together again.”

Just then, the phone was jerked out of Michael’s hands, and the other man was handcuffing his hands behind his back. Michael couldn’t stop yelling.

\---------------------

“Michael?” Gavin almost screamed into the phone. “Michael, are you there?” 

“Michael can’t come to the phone right now,” came a gruff voice from the other end. “If you listen to me right now, and get back into your cell like a good boy, I promise we’ll let you two have a nice little reunion.”

“You’re serious?”

“Yep. Sure as I’ve ever been. I’m sure it wouldn’t be too much for Amanda to handle. Just get back into your cell, Gavin. I know you’re out. I heard your conversation.”  Just then, the drug kicked in once more, and Gavin felt himself shouting. He didn’t even know what he was saying anymore. “I’d rather you let Michael go than bring him here!” Gavin replied. “You can’t do that!”

“We’re bringing him in, whether you like it or not. You had your chance to protect him. That chance has flown. Now you just have to decide what you want more - a dead boyfriend or a reunion.”

Michael’s voice came ringing from over the line, and Gavin recognized just how loudly the man would have to be yelling in order for him to be heard. “Gavin! Don’t listen to them! I’m not worth it. I want you to run. Do it, and save yourself. It would make -”

His voice was suddenly cut off, and Gavin could just imagine the hand that was probably clapped over his boyfriend’s mouth. But then, the image of his dead body flashed through his mind, and he almost broke down.

“Okay,” he choked out, and he felt the rage starting to fade. He backed up towards the cell, unlocking the door. Amanda came tumbling out, her face red in complete anger. “I’m giving the phone to Amanda now. You’d better keep your promise.”

With that, he handed the phone to the woman and shut himself into the rom, walking to a corner and bursting into tears.

\------------------------

Michael’s captors had a short conversation with whoever it was that was on the phone, before they started dragging him back to the street.

“Lucky for us, we have a getaway vehicle close by,” one of the men said with a wink.

“I don’t really give a fuck,” Michael responded roughly. He was completely enraged by this point, but he didn’t know if he really wanted to give these men the satisfaction of seeing they had an affect on him. “Just do whatever the fuck you want with me."

“We just want to give you a nice reunion with your boyfriend.”

“Before brutally murdering the both of us, more likely than not.” 

“I never said anything of the kind.”

“No, but you were thinking it.” At that, the man shut up, and Michael couldn’t help but smirk quietly to himself as he was shoved into the back seat of a car. The very least he could get out of this was winning a little squabble. But that was more than enough for Michael.

The silence that sounded in the car as they drove was almost deafening, and Michael tried his very hardest to focus on where they were going. However, his mind was foggy from the rage, and just the adrenaline of everything that had been happening, and he found it difficult to focus. Like Gavin, he had soon lost track of where they were.

They arrived at the warehouse a few moments later.

“A fucking warehouse?”

“Yes.”

“Why the hell are we here? This doesn’t exactly look very professional.”

“We’re not very professional people.”

Michael had to physically bite his tongue in order to hold back the sharp retort that was already starting to form. It wasn’t exactly professional to kidnap people, so he could have guessed as much. However, in a matter of moments, he was being pulled roughly out of the car and through the doors.

A woman was waiting there, a look of disgust on her face. “And I suppose you would be Michael,” she said as she glared at him, and Michael felt himself stiffen involuntarily.

“Yes. That’s me.”

“You’re a distraction to Gavin, but, as he wants to see you so badly, I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to let you two have a bit of time to talk to each other. Or... whatever else you want to do.”

Michael was about to mention something about his being a distraction, but the minute she mentioned Gavin, he was alert. “That would be fantastic,” he muttered, trying his best to ignore the blatantly sexual comment she had made. Then he thought better of it, and decided to make a comment of his own. “Though you might not want to be listening in or anything like that.”

The look of disgust on her face was quite comical, and Michael had to try his very hardest to hold back a laugh. Then he was shoved forwards roughly, and all thoughts of laughing had left his mind. A door was opened a minute later, and Michael saw Gavin crumpled in a corner, still sobbing quietly.

He immediately tried to pull away from the men holding him, but they held firmly. After a few moments of his struggling, they pushed him forwards, causing him to fall to the ground and glare at them before the door was closed behind him.

He would have cursed them out, but the thought of his boyfriend snapped him out of it, and he rushed over to Gavin, who had only started to cry harder after his appearance.

“Shhh,” he hummed quietly, wrapping his arms around the other man. “It’s going to be fine. Seriously. Just relax, yeah?”

\----------------------

Gavin felt very conflicted by the recent events. On the one hand, he was extremely happy that Michael was there with him in that moment. However, another part of him realized just how selfish that really was.

One of the parts took control, however, and he lifted his head from his knees, wrapping his arms around Michael’s neck and threading his hands into his hair, immediately kissing him as hard as he could. He just wanted to get out all of the pain that he was feeling, and that was the only way he knew how.

Michael returned his kiss with just as much passion, and his arms were still laced around him. Michael was the one to break the kiss, and he rested his forehead against Gavin’s, still whispering encouraging words into his ear.

“I’m sorry, Michael,” he finally managed, pulling away and desperately trying to wipe away his tears. “I don’t really know why I’m crying. This is silly. All of it.”

“Hey,” Michael said, grabbing his face and directing it to look at him. “You’re not silly. Okay? This is a situation that neither of us ever thought we would be in. And, honestly, if I didn’t have to look after you, I think I’d be crying just as much.”

“I don’t need looking after.”

Michael kissed him once more, and Gavin melted into him, enjoying the feeling of his embrace. “Maybe you don’t need looking after,” Michael mumbled against his lips. “But I need to look after you. I don’t know if that makes sense. But it’s true.”

For a moment, Gavin didn’t know what to say. Then he decided that he would just say what he’d been thinking since the moment he had seen him. “I missed you, Michael,” he whispered. “I needed you,” he paused for a moment, before pressing his lips to Michael’s once more. “I was confused without you. Make me feel safe.”

Gavin felt Michael push himself even closer to him, and he immediately accommodated the feeling of his body against his own. Michael moved his shoulders ever so slightly, pushing Gavin to the ground and straddling him, beginning to kiss him deeply. His arms wrapped around Gavin’s shoulders, and he accepted the feeling.

He knew it was wrong to find comfort in this type of thing, but in that moment, it was all he really wanted. He wanted Michael. To feel him in ways that other people never would. It made him feel wanted. It made him feel accepted. It made him feel safe.

And safe was what he needed.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More sex in this chapter. Again, you can skip it if you want.

Their kiss continued for a few moments longer before Michael finally pulled away. He felt Gavin grabbing at the back of his neck and trying to pull him back down, but he still resisted. He rested their foreheads against each other, closing his eyes tightly. “Gavin,” he whispered. “I don’t know if I can do this.”

“What?”

“I’ve already fallen for you too hard. If they threaten you in any way, I’ll be like putty in their hands.”

“Then what is this hurting?”

Michael opened his eyes to stare at Gavin, who was looking at him with the most pitiful eyes he had ever seen. He averted his eyes, but when Gavin cupped his cheek in his hand, softly running his thumb along it, he turned back to look at him.

Gently, Gavin pulled him down again, and Michael allowed himself to be led. They kissed slowly, and Michael felt himself melting into the man below him. When they parted, Michael’s eyes fluttered open, and Gavin was smiling softly.

“I forgot that you need to feel safe, too,” he murmured, and Michael felt himself blush.

“That’s not your job.”

Gavin smiled, and shook his head. “Yeah, it kind of it. You’re my boyfriend, Michael. Even if it sounded like I was breaking things off with you the other day. That’s not what I really wanted to say. And now that you’re here with me, I don’t think I’ll be able to deny what I really think about you.”  Michael swallowed hard, and nodded.

“Alright.” He paused for a moment, trying to think over what he should say. “I want to be with you, Gavin. In all senses of the word. And if you’re not embarrassed by those bastards that are right outside the door, I’ll do you right here and now.”

The man below him blushed madly, and Michael grinned. “Well?”

\----------------------

“I think I’d like that,” Gavin muttered, before pulling Michael on top of him even more and kissing him heatedly. He put all of the passion that he’d been missing into that kiss - despite the fact that he’d been separated from the man, he’d still been taking his own type of drug.

And he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Michael.

Gavin felt Michael swipe his tongue along his lower lip, and he immediately allowed the other man access, moaning as he felt the other man’s tongue against his own. For a moment, he was extremely self conscious about the people that were in just the other room, but when Michael slipped his hands up the front of his shirt, all other thoughts left his mind.

Immediately, Gavin returned the favor, allowing his own hands to wander up the other mans sides, and underneath his shirt, pulling him closer to his own body. He rested his hands on Michael’s back, before dragging his fingernails gently along the surface of the skin.

Michael immediately let a loud groan escape his lips, and his hips ground down into Gavin’s. “God, Gavin,” he muttered against his lips.

Gavin bit his lip, trying his best to hold back a grin. It wasn’t exactly difficult to determine that Michael would be turned on by aggressiveness during sex, but just how much it did so still surprised Gavin.

A moment later, Michael was sitting up and pulling his shirt over his head, before tugging on the hem of Gavin’s. His eyes were glazed over, and he winked. Gavin slapped his arm playfully. “Stop that,” he said, before ridding himself of his own shirt and pulling Michael back down to him.

Michael grinned. “What? Is it not attractive?”

“You already have me here, you don’t have to try to seduce me any further.”

He chuckled softly, before kissing Gavin’s neck gently. “Can I mark you?” he whispered quietly against the skin. “I know you said you didn’t care, but is this different? There’s people out there. They’ll definitely know.”

Gavin ran his fingernails gently across Michael’s back, and could hear Michael struggle to hold back his sounds. “It’s fine,” Gavin whispered. “I’m pretty sure they know something’s going on in here anyways.”

He felt Michael smile against his skin before he began to suck gently, biting at the skin and soothing the feeling with his tongue. Gavin moaned a bit louder than he had intended to, and his face turned red as a result, but Michael didn’t seem to be paying attention.

\----------------------

Michael made his way further down the man’s body, still marking him. He ran his palm gently over Gavin’s crotch, causing the man to whimper and squirm beneath him. Slowly, his fingers made their way underneath the fabric of his jeans, caressing the skin there.

“Michael,” he heard the other man gasp out. “Oh god, Michael. Please. Just do something.”

“What do you want me to do?”

“Anything! God, anything.”

Shaking his head slightly, Michael started to unbutton Gavin’s jeans, pushing them slowly down his legs. His boxers followed soon after. He moved his mouth to breathe on the man’s length, and when he saw how difficult it was for the man to not push up, he pinned his hips down to the ground.

“Michael, you don’t have to -”

“Shh,” Michael murmured, putting a finger to Gavin’s lips, much as he had done to him. “I know I don’t have to. But I want to.”

And with that, he took the tip of the man’s cock in his mouth, swirling around it with his tongue. Gavin’s moans urged him on, as he bobbed down a bit lower, taking more into his mouth. He liked seeing the other man pleasured, and the sounds escaping from his mouth caused Michael’s own jeans to become even tighter.

He managed to deep throat him once or twice, the tip of his cock hitting the back of his throat, but he was forced to pull off soon afterwards. Gavin was panting heavily, looking down at him with his eyes glazed over, and the sight caused a shiver to go through Michael’s own body.

\-----------------------

“Now it’s your turn to get rid of your pants,” Gavin mumbled, forcing himself to sit up from where he had been lying, and running his hand over Michael’s growing bulge. He groaned, and Gavin had to hold back a grin as he unfastened his jeans and pulled them down, along with his boxers.  
After a moment, Michael mumbled something, but Gavin didn’t quite catch his words. “What?”

Michael’s face was bright red, and for a moment, Gavin could almost understand why Michael found it so fun to tease him. Almost. “I just realized how difficult this is going to be,” he muttered. “Stone floors. Stone fucking everything. Someone’s going to get fucking hurt.” He paused for a moment. “Blow jobs it is then.”

Gavin looked at him for a moment before leaning over and catching his lips in a chaste kiss. Then he leant down to his ear and whispered, “Unless you let me ride you. That shouldn’t be too bad for either of us.”

Immediately, a moan sounded out of Michael’s lips, and his arms were wrapped around Gavin, pulling him in and kissing him hard. “But what about lube?” He asked after they parted, his voice still soft. “I don’t want to hurt you, Gavin.”

Gavin smiled gently before straddling Michael, taking his hand in his own. He lead it to his mouth and took his fingers into his mouth, sucking on them slowly. Michael moaned again, his head falling forward to rest on Gavin’s chest.

“God, that’s fucking hot Gavin.”

Gavin hummed quietly around Michael’s fingers, swirling his tongue around them, making sure they were completely covered in saliva before he pulled off. “That should be good,” he said quietly. “Not quite the same as lube, but it’ll do. Be gentle though.”

Michael pulled away, and the look in his eyes was one unlike anything Gavin had ever seen. He had witnessed the man turned on before, but somehow, this looked different. However, Michael simply nodded, grabbing the back of Gavin’s neck with his other hand and pulling him into a heated kiss.

“Have I ever been too rough with you?” He questioned against his lips, eyes still closed. His other hand made it’s way lower, and began to circle Gavin’s entrance, causing him to let out a loud whine.

“No,” he mumbled, pressing his lips to Michael’s once more. “Of course not. You’ve always been extremely considerate. And I’m grateful for that.”

\--------------------

Michael continued to kiss Gavin, and for a moment, he forgot what he was doing. But when Gavin began to push back onto his hand, he was snapped back into it, and began to press one of his fingers forwards.

It was a bit more difficult than when using lube, and Michael was extremely careful not to hurt Gavin. However, once the finger was completely inside, he began to pump it in and out slowly, kissing Gavin in order to distract him.

Eventually, he was able to add another finger, though Gavin’s face contorted to that of pain. “Are you alright?” he asked softly. “We can stop if you want.”

“No,” Gavin gasped out. “I don’t want you to stop. I want you to keep going. Please.”  Michael did as the other requested, slowly beginning to scissor his fingers, pumping in and out of Gavin, and finally adding another finger. This time it was easier, and the transition wasn’t quite as difficult.

“Okay,” Gavin gasped. “I’m okay. I’m ready.” 

“You’re sure?”

“Of course I’m sure.”

Michael bit his lip, pulling his fingers out of Gavin. He spread whatever saliva was left on his fingers over his length, groaning at the contact. He had been so caught up in making Gavin feel good that he hadn’t even noticed just how much he had needed relief of his own.

\-------------------

Gavin pulled his hand away, pushing him gently back. He lined himself up, and felt the tip of Michael’s cock against his entrance. “You’re ready?” he asked quietly.

“I should be the one asking you that,” Michael moaned. “Of course I’m ready. I’ve fucking been - fuck.” Michael’s words were cut off by Gavin beginning to sink down onto him, taking just the tip at first.

Slowly, he began to move down, until Michael was completely inside of him. Michael had been a groaning mess the entire time, as had Gavin, and when he finally paused, allowing himself to adjust, Michael fell forwards again, resting his head against Gavin’s chest.

“Jesus Christ, Gavin.”

Gavin wasn’t able to think of any words to say, so instead he simply raised himself up, slamming down again quickly. Michael let out a muffled moan from where his face was still buried, and he grabbed desperately at Gavin’s shoulders, pulling his mouth to his in an open mouth kiss.

He continued to move himself up and down on Michael, and any words that they might have been trying to say before immediately turned into moans and mumbles of names.

After one particularly hard thrust, Gavin let out a cry louder than most of the others, and managed to gasp out a few words. “Oh god, Michael. I... I need -”

“Right there?”

Gavin could only nod his head as he wrapped his arms around Michael’s back, scratching lightly. “Just give me a minute, okay?”

“Okay,” Michael whispered into his ear, taking the shell between his teeth and rolling it gently, causing Gavin to let out a light moan.

 

“Can you touch me, Michael?”

“Of course.” A second later, his fingers were wrapped around Gavin’s length, and he felt himself clench at the sudden contact. Michael moaned, beginning to pump him, and in a matter of moments, Gavin was coming completely undone, curse words flying from his lips as he came.

Michael followed soon after, and thrusted upwards a couple of times, despite their awkward positioning, just to get some relief as he came inside of Gavin. It took a while for the both of them to recover from their sex induced highs, but after they had done so, Gavin climbed off of Michael, collapsing on the floor beside him.

\----------------------

Michael let himself lie down on the floor next to Gavin. After all, it couldn’t be too much worse than what they had just done. He looked over at the man who looked almost ready to fall asleep. “You look so cute after sex,” Michael teased, leaning over to kiss his boyfriend on the cheek.

Gavin blushed madly, and turned his face away. “Stop,” he said quietly, once again slapping his arm.

Michael allowed his jaw to drop. “Well,” he said. “I didn’t realize that you couldn’t take a fucking compliment. Quite frankly, I’m offended.” He heard Gavin giggle, and the smile that he had been trying so hard to hold back made its way to his face.

He grasped Gavin’s hand in his own, interlacing their fingers, simply studying the way they fit together. “I love you, Gavin,” he said, before he had a chance to stop himself.

The grip on his hand tightened, and Michael froze, almost sure that he had said the wrong thing. _Fuck. Way to screw things up, Michael. The first time you messed up and told him you loved him, he managed to brush it off. You’ve basically ruined it now._

However, the tight hold soon loosened, and Gavin turned his head look at Michael. His face was bright, and his eyes shone with pure happiness.

“You really mean that? It wasn’t something that you just said before because you were scared?”  Michael swallowed hard, then shook his head.

“Yeah,” he said. “I really mean it. I do love you, Gavin. I never used to know what that meant. But I do now. You’re the one that showed me.”

“That’s good,” Gavin said.

“What?”

“It’s good. That you love me. Because I love you too,” He leant over and gave Michael a gentle peck on the lips, before falling onto his back once more. Then he chuckled.

“What’s so funny?”

“I’m just glad I actually got a chance to say it.”


	16. Chapter 16

It was only a minute later when the lock on the door started to sound, and both Michael and Gavin were in a sitting position in seconds. Michael grabbed his shirt that was lying nearby and used it to cover himself, throwing another piece of clothing to Gavin just in time.

The door opened and the one of the men stood there.

“Excuse you,” Michael snapped. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

The man chuckled, and shrugged. “I was sent to retrieve you.”

“Well, I don’t fucking appreciate it. I don’t know if you realize it, but this is the second fucking time you’ve interrupted me after sex. All I want to do is relax with my boyfriend. I don’t fucking appreciate it. At all.”

“I can give you a minute to get dressed. But that’s all you get.”

Michael groaned, his head tilting back. He stared at the ceiling for a minute before responding. “Can I at least get a fucking towel or some shit to clean myself off with?”

“Nope. You made a decision, now you have to figure out how to deal with it.” With that, the man turned on his heel. “I’ll be back in ten minutes. That should be plenty of time.” Then he left, closing the door behind him.

Michael leaned forward, putting his head in his hands. “This entire thing is a fucking joke,” he muttered under his breath. Before he knew what was happening, Gavin’s arm was wrapped around his waist, and he was being pulled closer.

“I’m so sorry, Michael,” he murmured into his ear. “It’s all my fault. I shouldn’t have acted on my impulses in the first place. That was a dick move.”

“What?”

“If it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t be here. It has everything to do with me. They wanted information out of me, and I refused to give it. Simple as that.” 

He took a deep breath before turning his head to kiss Gavin gently on the lips. “Hopefully you don’t mind my asking, but why exactly can’t you tell them?”

“Because it would kill me.”

Michael was immediately sitting straight up, pulling away. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“They’ll use the things I tell them to make it so that emotions don’t work. At least in the way that I’ve been using them. I’d rather give my life, rather than be the cause of millions of people committing suicide. I’d be as good as a murderer.”

Gavin pushed himself closer to Michael, burying his face in the crook of his neck. “It’s just all so confusing.”

Michael tried to think of any words to say, but he couldn’t come up with anything. So he decided to change the topic. He knew it probably wasn’t what would work best in the situation at hand, but it was the best he could think of.

“So how the fuck am I supposed to get cleaned up anyways?” 

\--------------------------

Gavin hoped that the disappointment that he was feeling didn’t show on his face, as he didn’t want Michael to think that he was especially needy. However, it was hard to keep back the emotion when all you really wanted to do was cry.

He didn’t think that Michael understood that. At least not fully. Maybe he had shed some tears because of his rage. Perhaps a few because of the affection, though Gavin hoped that wasn’t the case. But he didn’t know what it was like to feel all of the pain that existed in the world.

And Gavin felt like he was the only one to feel it. It was like the weight of the world was on his shoulders, and there was no way he could relive himself of it. Trying to talk to anyone about it would just prove pointless, as Michael had just shown. So he decided to humor Michael. It seemed like the obvious choice.

“I could help you,” he said quietly, before pressing his lips to Michael’s. “As long as you think you can manage to not get hard again. There isn’t any time for that. Not now.”

Gavin heard Michael’s breath catch, and he tried his best to hold back a smile. However, the corners of his mouth still tugged upwards when he heard Michael’s reply.

“I can do my best.”

He nodded, moving down to the other man’s chest, where most of the problem lie. Michael leaned back on his hands, and Gavin saw him swallow hard as he began to move his tongue over his chest, cleaning him. He worked quickly, as he knew that their time together was closing, and he wanted to talk to him before that happened.

After a minute or two, Michael was completely clean. But he was also half hard. Michael groaned, rubbing his hands over his eyes. “This is fucking great,” he muttered. “Uncomfortable, and a pain in the ass.” He managed to smile at Gavin, though his eyes didn’t show happiness. “Come here,” he muttered, beckoning to him with a hand.

Gavin complied, moving a bit closer to him, and smiling when Michael kissed him gently on the forehead. “Thank you, Gav,” he muttered, getting to his feet. Gavin let out a frustrated sound as Michael slipped his boxers on, and the other man rolled his eyes, though Gavin could tell that he was joking.

“Come on, man. Really?”

“Yes, really,” Gavin replied, crossing his arms over his chest.

“What? Am I not as attractive like this?”

Gavin got to his feet as well, walking over to him, and running his hands through his hair, mussing it up even more than it already was. “Of course you are. You’re always attractive. It’s just not the same.”

Michael chuckled, pushing Gavin away gently. He pulled his jeans on, pausing for a moment before throwing his shirt to Gavin. He raised an eyebrow at him. “What’s this for?” he asked, lifting up the shirt.

“Something to remember me by,” Michael replied, picking up Gavin’s shirt off the floor and pulling it over his own head. “We’re basically the same size, anyways, though mine might be a bit too short for you.”

Gavin had been dressing at the same time as Michael, and pulled the shirt over his own head. “It’s perfect,” he murmured. “Thank you.”

“No. Thank you. I need something to take my mind off of the frustration of being here. You always clear my head.”

\----------------------

Michael watched as Gavin’s face went completely red, and he strolled up to him, kissing his cheeks. Though he had meant it as a comforting gesture, it only caused his face to become more red, and Michael chuckled.

“I don’t understand why you’re so uneasy around me.”

“I’m not uneasy.”

“Okay. But you’re definitely not fucking laid back."

Gavin was about to respond when the lock began to turn again. As much as Michael loved Gavin’s voice, he threw himself forwards, wrapping his arms around the man’s neck and kissing him for all he was worth. He wasn’t going to be taken easily.

“Ugh. Not this again,” Michael heard the words coming from the doorway, but he completely ignored them, just deepening the kiss, tugging lightly on Gavin’s hair. Not long after that, he felt hands on his shoulders and he was being ripped away. Gavin’s face was red and his lips were swollen, and Michael never wanted to leave.

“Let go of me,” Michael snapped, yanking his arms from the men’s grasp.

“Are you going to come without a struggle like your boyfriend here?”

Just then, Michael realized how familiar the entire situation seemed. The two of them had been interrupted directly after sex, and one of them had been forcibly taken away. Only this time the roles were switched. And Michael was on rage.

“Of fucking course not,” Michael replied. “What the hell makes you assholes think that I’d ever go with you? By force or otherwise?”

“Michael -” He heard Gavin’s voice sound before the others had a chance to respond. “Please. I want you here just as much as you want to be here. You know that. But please. Just go with them. Give them what they want. That way they won’t hurt you. And I won’t feel responsible.”

“I love you, Gavin,” he said quietly, trying to rush forwards to kiss him once more. However, the men caught his arms, pulling him backwards.

“I love you too, Michael.”

Those were the last words that Michael heard before he was pulled out of the room and the door was locked behind them. For a moment, all of the pain hit him like a brick. He had never experienced something quite like that before.

This was even worse than being separated from Gavin. At least when they were miles apart, Michael didn’t know where his boyfriend was. When that was the case, he didn’t feel like there was something else that he could do. He didn’t feel completely helpless.

But now, here he was, in a warehouse. His boyfriend was locked in a cell just a few feet away from him, and there wasn’t a single fucking thing he could do about it.

The men dragged him into another room across the wide expanse of the main room, tugging him inside. They forced him to sit down on a chair, and tied him to it. Michael wanted to scream and yell like a maniac, but the last thing he wanted was to be gagged. And so he was quiet.

“So would you like to tell me why the fuck you’re tying me up and not Gavin?” He asked. “Not that I’m complaining. I’d rather it be this way.”  
“You like being tied up?”

“No. But I don’t like the idea of my boyfriend being tied up instead.” The man nodded, and Michael rolled his eyes. “So? Are you going to fucking tell me, or what?” 

“Amanda -”

“Amanda? That ugly ass woman that told me that I was a distraction to Gavin?”  “I wouldn’t say that she’s ugly -”

“She insulted me. She’s fucking ugly. Continue.”

“She said that you’d be more likely to try to run than Gavin. And whereas Gavin is easily overpowered, you would be a lot more difficult to contain.”

“Understandable. But what the hell are you going to do to Gavin?”

“Gavin? Nothing. Nothing at all.”

“Then why the fuck is he here? As a matter of fact, why am I here?”

“First of all, we need to make sure that you don’t know anything about Gavin’s trade. And then we use you to get Gavin to talk.”

\---------------------------

The minute the men had taken Michael out of the room, Gavin’s head had begun to throb. It was as if all of the after effects of the drugs he had taken were starting to kick it. The rage started to come back to him, and the frustration he had been feeling before he had seen his boyfriend started to return.

However, despite the fact that he was full of anger, it didn’t stop him from sinking to the floor and resting his head in his hands. He felt as if his life force had just been taken away from him, and he didn’t like the way that felt.

Amanda arrived in the room not long afterwards, but he didn’t even acknowledge her presence. He was in too sour a mood to even consider talking to someone. But when she cleared her throat, he knew he would have to speak.

“What the fuck do you want?”

“You know what I want, Gavin,” she said, and her voice was so quiet that Gavin almost missed it.

“You want information on drugs.”

“That’s right.”

“I still won’t tell you anything.”

“Not even if we torture Michael?”

Gavin felt his face contort, and all of the emotions he had been feeling separately started to merge into one. He was angry and confused, sad and desperate. And the only way he could respond was through tears. He looked up, and his eyes were wet. “You wouldn’t.”

“Gavin, I don’t think that I need to tell you that I would.”

“So that’s why you let me see him,” Gavin exclaimed as the realization hit him. “You wanted me to remember what it was like. What he was like. You wanted the memory to be fresh in my mind so that it would be harder for me to deny what you were asking of me!” His voice was loud by this point - he was almost shouting. “You don’t care about me at all. You only care about yourself!”

Amanda spread her hands, a fake smile plastered across her face. “Surprise, surprise. The amazing Gavin figured it out. I knew you would. You’re so much more intelligent than Michael. Quite honestly, I don’t see why you put up with him.”

Gavin’s fists clenched, and he grit his teeth. He glared at the ground for a moment before he managed a response. “Michael is smarter than you will ever be.”

“Perhaps that’s true. Perhaps it isn’t. But really, this all comes down to one question. And you and I both know what that is.”

“Go ahead then. Ask me.”

“Do I really need to?”

“Yes.”

“Will you help us? Will you tell us what we need to know?”

Gavin hesitated, though only for a moment. He knew what Michael would say. Michael would tell him that the only thing that mattered was Gavin himself. That he should resist the urge to tell them, even if it brought about his death.

Gavin was the only person that Michael cared about. The only problem was that the reverse was also true. Michael was the only person that Gavin cared about.

“Yes.”


	17. Chapter 17

Michael wasn’t quite sure how long he had been in the dark, but he did know that it was messing him up. He had never liked being restrained, especially not when he was on rage. The fact that he couldn’t see anything didn’t help.

He felt so helpless, so out of control. And, indeed, perhaps it was because those were the facts. Michael didn’t like to admit it to himself, but he was completely and totally trapped, and there was nothing he could do about it.

After what seemed like days, the door finally opened. Michael realized that it probably hadn’t been that long. In reality, it had probably only been a few hours. But when you’re desperate for a fix, in combination with being contained, your mind tends to play a lot of tricks on you. The passage of time is one of them.

The brightness of the room outside burned, and Michael closed his eyes tightly, trying to allow himself some adjustment. Then the overhead lights were turned on, making everything ten times worse. When the sensation had finally subsided, Michael managed to force his eyes open.

Amanda stood there, much as he had been expecting.

“The hell do you want?”

“There’s no need to be so impolite, Michael,” she said quietly, taking several steps closer to him. Michael thrashed as his bonds, wanting desperately to take a swing at her. For the most part, he tended to avoid physical confrontation with women, but she had started this one. Plus, the rage was making decisions for him. Despite the fact that he needed more, the remainder was still left, causing him to become extremely irrational at the most unexpected times.

“It’s your fucking fault, you piece of shit,” he hissed. “I’m not normally an impolite asshole -” 

“That’s not true.”

“So what if it isn’t? The fucking point is that you were the one that started this. You physically took my boyfriend, then you kidnapped me. I think I have a fucking reason to be upset.”

“I’m going to need you to stop swearing,” she murmured, taking a few steps closer, and caressing his face with the back of her hand.

Michael attempted to pull away, but his bonds made it almost impossible. “Get the fuck off of me.”  A second later, Amanda slapped him hard across the face, and he started, more from shock than pain. “What the hell?” he yelled. “What the fuck was that for? I didn’t do anything!”

Amanda shrugged, a smile tugging at her lips. “Did you know you’re attractive when you’re angry?”

Michael scowled, knitting his eyebrows together and staring at the floor. “I’ve been fucking told that a time or two. But let me just say this right now - you’re not exactly my type.”

“I’ve noticed.”

“So are you going to tell me what the hell you want from me? Or are you just going to fucking stand there and stare at me? Because I’d appreciate the former.”

“I’m here to help you.”

“Help me?”

“Well, not really. You see, Gavin is extremely stubborn. Despite the fact he says he’ll help us, he’ll only do so if we make sure you’re comfortable. Luckily for us, I happen to know you’re in the mood for a fix.”

“Maybe. What of it?” 

“Gavin wants us to inject you. With rage.”

“Does Gavin get his drugs?”

“Not unless he makes them. Which is part of the reason that Gavin is the perfect man for what we’re trying to do. Unless he wants to die, he has to mix a drug from himself. That shows us just how he does it.”

Michael was trying to let her words sink in, but his mind was racing in a million different directions. Based on what Amanda was saying, Gavin would die if he didn’t tell them what they wanted to know. According to Gavin, he would die if he did. There was honestly no winning in this situation, and it was starting to make Michael desperate.

“One condition.”

“You’re tied up, and completely under our control. I don’t think that you’re in the mood to be making bargains. However, you can humor me.”

“You have to give Gavin rage as well.”

“That’s not going to happen. He has to make his own decisions. He’ll probably end up injecting himself with rage eventually, as that was what he used when he almost escaped.” She paused for a moment, before resuming. “But he needs to make his own decisions.”

“Then you’re not injecting me.”

A smile spread across the woman’s face, and Michael cringed. “See, that’s the thing. Like I said. We’re completely in control.” She stepped even closer to Michael, and soon she was right in front of him, basically breathing in his ear. Michael tried to head butt her, but she was angled so that it was impossible.

He felt her nails on his arm, and he closed his eyes tightly. In a moment, he would be filled with rage, and despite the fact that it would feel good, he knew that it would also be bad as well. He couldn’t think clearly when he was on rage. It calmed him, but he felt like he was on a cloud. Then the needle was pushed into his arm, and his head was spinning.

“Get away from me, you fucking bitch,” he yelled. “I want to talk to Gavin. I need to talk to Gavin!”

Amanda clicked her tongue, shaking her head. “I’m afraid that we can’t do that.”

She took several steps away, smiling brightly as she headed towards the door. Then she turned around, making direct eye contact with Michael before she spoke. “See, this is what neither you nor Gavin understood. We told Gavin that we would torture you. But it’s not a physical torture. The worst kind of torture is mental. And helplessness is the worst of them all.”

Then the door closed, and Michael was in darkness again. Only this time, his heart was racing, his veins were popping, and he was angrier than he had ever been before.

\------------------------

The two men stood in front of Gavin, staring at him. He shifted nervously from foot to foot, looking at the drugs spread over the table. They had moved him to a new location not long after he had agreed to Amanda’s terms, but he was still waiting for her to get back.

“So,” he said, trying to break the awkwardness in the air. “You guys know what my name is. Mind telling me yours?”

The men looked at each other before shrugging. “I don’t see what it could hurt,” one of the men replied. “I’m Burns. That’s Heymen.”

“Last names only?”

“That’s what we go by.”

Gavin was about to prod for more when Amanda came rushing into the room. She looked extremely happy, and that made him nervous. “What’s the matter?” 

“Why would you think something is the matter?” she replied. “I’m happy. That doesn’t exactly scream danger to me.”

“But if you’re happy about something, I don’t think I should be.”

“Let’s just say I took care of Michael.”

Gavin stiffened, the horror on his face showing plainly. He rushed forwards, standing right in front of her. Burns and Heyman stiffened, looking at him anxiously, as if they were worried about what he might do. Amanda waved them off.

“He’s alright, isn’t he?” Gavin exclaimed, not able to hold still as he twisted his hands together. “You didn’t hurt him, did you?”

“Not really.”

“What does that mean?”

“I didn’t physically hurt him. There may be a bit of mental torture going on, though.”

Gavin bit his lip, looking down at the ground. A part of him wanted to yell and scream, and he figured that it was the remains of the rage he had taken. He knew that he would have to inject himself with it soon, but he was going to put it off for as long as humanly possible.

The sensation the rage had given him hadn’t necessarily been appealing to him. He especially hated the fact that he could be forced to do things that he didn’t necessarily want to do. At least he liked to tell himself he didn’t want to do them.

“He’ll be alright, Gavin,” Amanda’s voice said softly. “I promise. Everything will be okay.” Her hand rested on his shoulder, and he pulled away quickly.  
“Don’t touch me,” he muttered, turning his back and walking back to the table. He hesitated for a moment. “If I tell you what you want to know, will you let me and Michael leave?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea,” Burns said.

“Burns! I said I didn’t care about your opinions! I’m your boss, and I have my own. He told me to do what needed to be done. That’s what I’m doing.”

The thought that there was someone even higher in rank than Amanda had completely passed his mind until that point, but as soon as it was mentioned, Gavin couldn’t drop the subject. However, he wasn’t going to say anything out loud.

“Right away?” he questioned. “Promise?” 

“Promise. You tell us everything you know about drugs, and we let you off completely free of all charges. Since you really weren’t hurting anyone in the first place.”

_Yeah. You’re doing a perfectly good job of that yourself. Just keep telling yourself that you’re not killing millions of people. It’ll all work out in the long run._

Despite the thoughts that were running through his head, Gavin managed to look her in the eyes. “Fine,” he said. “I need a fix anyways. What do you want to know?”  “First of all, what exactly is it that you take? We have a simple idea, but I don’t think that it’s nearly as complex as the reality.”

“I take a combination of all drugs. Equal parts of each.”

“What does it do?”

“It makes me feel naturally. It’s almost like the fucking government never existed at all. What with their shitty laws and all that.”

Everyone in the room except Gavin took a step back, and he couldn’t help but smile at that. There was just something about scaring people that made it all worth it. These people especially.

“I - That’s not possible,” Amanda muttered. “We - We thought -”

“It doesn’t matter what you thought. The only thing that matters is what is true.” Gavin’s hands worked quickly, mixing every ingredient on the table. “If you leave out even one, then the entire recipe is ruined,” he explained. “And you die instantly.”

“Can you do other blends?”

“With different proportions, yes.”

“And how do you figure out those proportions?”

Gavin hesitated, and for a moment he didn’t want to tell. But then his mind went to his boyfriend in the next room, and he resumed. “For a long time, it was through trial and error. I would give people blends, and if they didn’t come back, I knew they were dead. It was good enough for me.”

“You killed people?” Amanda gasped, and Gavin felt the rage starting to build inside of him. He couldn’t control himself anymore.

“Yes,” he shouted, his voice reverberating throughout the room. The sound caused the other people to jump, and Gavin felt satisfaction in their unease. “I did! I fucking killed people. But what exactly do you sons of bitches think you’re doing? You think that ridding people of their emotions will make the world a better place? Because you’re wrong. You’re fucking wrong. All of you. Getting rid of emotions won’t make anything better! It will just kill people! Millions and millions of people!”

Throughout Gavin’s rant, the others had managed to regain their composure, though all of them still seemed fairly uncomfortable. After he had finally finished, Amanda squared her shoulders. “Heyman?”

“Yes Ma’am?”

“Go give Michael another injection of rage.”

“B - But Ma’am -”

“Do it!”

The man left the room, rolling his eyes and muttering something under his breath. The idea of what Amanda had said sent chills through Gavin’s body, and he felt himself go slightly limp, any fight that was left in him instantly vanishing.

“Please,” he pleaded, as if it would do any good. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. That was the rage talking. Michael - Michael didn’t do anything.”

“I’m sorry, Gavin,” Amanda said. “But you have to pay the consequences.”

“Then punish me! Not Michael!”

“Well, that would be silly,” Amanda said, smiling brightly, taking a few steps forwards. She ran a hand through Gavin’s hair, causing him to cringe and pull away. “We need you alive, don’t we?”

\------------------------------

“I didn’t expect another visitor so fucking soon,” Michael snapped as soon as the door opened. One of the men stood there, looking slightly hesitant. For a moment, he wondered what the man’s name was. Then he remembered that he didn’t care.

When the man didn’t respond right away, Michael prompted him again. “So what the fuck do you want?”

The man didn’t speak as he walked up to him. There was a needle in his hand. Michael eyed the container suspiciously. “What is that?”

“What the hell does it look like?”

“It looks like rage.” The black liquid caused fear to run through Michael’s entire body - something that he had never experienced before. It was strange. Despite the fact that the government did allow fear to exist, he had never felt it. Not really.

The closest he had ever come was when Gavin had been taken. That wasn’t even fear though. That had been mostly rage. Now, all rage was pushed aside, and all he felt was the tremors that shook his body.

“That’s right.”

“It is, then? Rage?”

“Yep.”

“You’re not going to inject me with that, are you?”

“I was told to.”

“Who knows what the fuck will happen! I could die!” Michael was yelling now, and it didn’t come as a surprise to him that he responded to his fear with yelling and cursing. He had always figured that was how it would end anyways.

“I know. I’m sorry. I don’t actually want to do this.” The man was closer now, and all Michael really wanted to do was jump on top of him, punch him over and over, then go and get Gavin. He wanted to get both himself and his boyfriend to safety. The fact that he couldn’t was killing him inside.

“Then fucking don’t.”

“I have to. I have my orders.” With that, the needle was pierced into Michael arm, finding the same vein that had been punctured just a few minutes earlier.

For a moment, Michael felt an amazing rush. It was insane, and unlike anything he had ever felt. But then, he felt his eyes start to grow heavy. “Goddamnit,” he muttered. Then the world around him went to black.


	18. Chapter 18

Every minute that passed was more difficult for Gavin. What was only five minutes in reality seemed like hours in his mind. Heyman finally returned to the room, and Gavin was on his feet. He wanted to speak, but the look that Amanda shot him told him to shut up.

He didn’t like being told what to do, but after what they had probably just done to Michael, he didn’t want to take any chances.

“So?” Amanda prompted, turning her gaze to the man that entered the room.

“I told you it was a bad idea,” he muttered, and Gavin’s heart sank.

“What happened?”

“He passed out, at the very least. I didn’t check for a heartbeat. Didn’t think you would care too much about him in the long run.”

Gavin closed his eyes tightly, trying to ignore the pain that was starting to form in his heart. It was obvious that he had it bad for the man when even the prospect of Michael’s danger sent him into a tailspin. However, he kept his mouth shut, for the good of everyone.

Amanda finally turned to Gavin, a terrifying look in her eye. “Now do you see why you need to do what we say? Because we have absolutely no problems torturing your boyfriend. We’ll kill him if we have to. Then maybe you’ll work with us. Because you can’t imagine a world without him.” 

“I never said anything like that out loud,” Gavin replied, his eyes filling with tears. “I don’t know what would make you come to that conclusion.”

“Come on, Gavin. The gig is up. If you weren’t absolutely crazy about him, you wouldn’t be crying right now. He’s probably not even dead.”

“Probably is the key word there,” he said quietly.

“But you won’t be any trouble now?”

“I wasn’t much trouble before.” Amanda’s body stiffened, and she opened her mouth to speak, but Gavin interrupted before she had a chance to do so. “But no! I absolutely won’t be any trouble!”

She hesitated, but nodded soon afterwards. “So where were we before you went off on your little rant? I think it was something about how you killed people.”

Gavin inhaled sharply, then nodded. “Right. Experimentation. I feel bad about it, and regret it every day of my life. But sometimes there are things that have to be done for science. You of all people have to understand that.”

“Of course.” Amanda paused for a moment before quirking an eyebrow. “So that means that you really don’t have much to tell us.” 

“Not really. I can give you the proportions that I already have, but that’s it.”

The woman bit her lower lip slightly. “Alright,” she responded. “That’s enough for today. I’ll see you tomorrow Gavin.”

Burns and Heyman both took one of his arms, and started to drag him towards the door. Despite his better judgement, Gavin spit out a question.

“What about Michael?”

“What about him?”

“What are you going to do with him? You can’t just leave him there! He probably needs medical attention - at least let me stay with him. Let me see him.”

Amanda looked pained for a moment, but then she waved him off. “Fine,” she said. “Take him to Michael’s room.”

“But Ma’am -”

“Don’t argue with me!” she shouted. “How many times do I have to say it? I know what I’m talking about.”

With those words, the men turned around, pulling Gavin through the door with them. The only sound that could be heard was that of their footsteps against the stone floor, and Gavin attempted to break the silence. “Why do you guys let her push you around so much?” he questioned, though he didn’t really expect an answer.

Burns shrugged. “Don’t know, really. She’s pretty intimidating, you have to admit. Plus, she works right under the head boss. And he’s fucking scary. You don’t want to mess with him. He seems to have quite an attachment to Amanda. Nobody wants to see what would happen if we crossed him.”

By this time, the small group had made their way to a metal door in the wall. He didn’t see why they needed two men to escort him a few feet, but he wasn’t really in a position to argue with it. They pushed him inside roughly, and he tripped over his own shoes, sprawling across the floor.

He wasn’t sure, but he thought he heard one of the men apologize before the door closed behind them.

\-------------------

“Michael -”

“This is Michael. Who knows where the fuck I am right now. Probably out drinking or some shit. Leave me a fucking message or something, I don’t really care.”

Dan let out a frustrated groan as he threw his phone to the ground. It hit the carpet, and he immediately regretted it, retrieving the piece from where it had dropped. It was okay, but that didn’t change the reason he had thrown it.

He had tried to contact Michael six times in the past twenty-four hours, and he was really starting to worry. Normally, he wouldn’t think twice about one of his friends going missing for a couple of days. It was the sort of thing that happened, especially to people that were on heavy drugs.

They normally weren’t there all the way, and would get themselves into tough situations that would be difficult to get themselves out of. He had learned to give them time. But this was different. It was way too soon after Gavin had gone missing to be a coincidence. And, despite how much confidence Michael seemed to portray, Dan somehow doubted that he would go out looking for Gavin on his own. Especially considering that he was more than willing to help him out.

\----------------------

“Michael,” he heard his name being called, and he started to stir. It was difficult, and almost felt as if he was trying to breathe again. However, finally, Michael was able to open his eyes again. He gasped, blinking several times and panting heavily.

“Michael!” Suddenly, arms were constricting him, and he couldn’t move. He jerked away, his brow furrowing. The man that stood in front of him looked extremely familiar, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on who it was.

He could feel the drugs that he had obviously taken rushing through his system, but when he tried to move a hand to his head, he found that they were restrained.

“What the hell?” He yelled. “Why are my arms tied up? Or my legs for that matter?”  The man jumped, his eyes growing wide. “Oh my god, Michael,” he exclaimed, rushing forwards. Michael couldn’t help but note just how attractive that voice really was. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t even notice!”

His arms were untied in a matter of moments, and though his head was still spinning, he launched himself forward, tackling the other onto the ground. They rolled around for a couple of minutes, though the other seemed especially compliant to Michael. Finally, he made his way to the top, pinning the man’s arms to the ground.

“Who are you?”

The man’s jaw dropped, and his eyes showed something that Michael could only describe as sorrow, though he had never seen it for himself. He loosened his grip as tears began to form in the other’s eyes. “You don’t remember me?” he whispered.

“I don’t know,” Michael muttered, sitting up. He still straddled the man, but didn’t find it weird. “You look very familiar. But I don’t know why. I don’t know where I am.”

“Can I try something?”

“Excuse me?”

“I want to try something. To see if you’ll remember me.”

“Uhh - I guess so.”

The other man sat up quickly, though Michael still sat on top of him. Then, hands were in his hair, and his head was being pulled forwards. Lips were working slowly against his, and Michael’s brain was racing.

This felt so normal. Like it was something that happened all of the time. Then a shock seemed to go through Michael’s entire body, and he was pulling back. His head was throbbing, but all the memories had come rushing into it, all at once. He figured there was a reason for the headache.

“Gavin?” he questioned timidly, and his face brightened immensely. His smile was bigger than Michael had ever seen on him before, and he had to admit that he liked it.

“It worked!” Gavin squealed happily. “I thought it would.”

“Oh my god, Gavin,” he exclaimed, pressing their foreheads together and gripping the back of Gavin’s neck. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t forget you. I just couldn’t put the pieces together.”

“It’s fine,” he murmured, pressing their lips together once more. Michael kissed back hungrily, tilting his head and deepening the kiss. However, he pulled away soon afterwards.

“What happened? Exactly, I mean.”

“They injected you with rage.”

“I remember that.”

“Twice.”

“What?” Michael’s entire body stiffened, and his grip in Gavin’s hair tightened. The other man bit back a moan, but it still sounded slightly, and Michael was forced to ignore the way it made him feel. “Why would they do that?"

Gavin closed his eyes tightly. “Because I’m an idiot.”

“No. You’re not. Even if it was your fault, I don’t fucking care. But I do want to know what happened. If that’s okay with you.”

“I - I think the rage may have taken control. For - For a little while at least.”

“What did you do?”

“I just talked. More of an angry rant, really.”

“What about?” He hesitated, and Michael cut into his thoughts. “Gavin?”

\---------------------------

Gavin knew that Michael was expecting some kind of an answer from him, but that didn’t make it come to him any easier. “It - It’s kind of hard to say.” He attempted to turn his head away, but as Michael was still on top of him, his face was quickly turned back to face him.

Michael stole another quick kiss, letting his hand remain on Gavin’s cheek. Even in the dim light, Gavin could easily see how beautiful Michael’s eyes were, though he would most likely never dare tell him.

“I’m your boyfriend, Gav. You can tell me anything. Seriously. I won’t be mad.”

“But you might be disgusted with me.”

“Why would I be disgusted with you? If anything, you should be disgusted with me. I don’t think you understand just how many times I’ve stopped to think about the fact that someone as perfect as you would ever want to even hook up with someone like me. Much less be in a serious relationship with that person.”

“You don’t know what I’ve done.”

“Then tell me.”

Gavin hesitated, looking Michael straight in the eyes. He could tell he was telling the truth. He didn’t know how he knew, he just did.

“You promise you won’t leave me?”

“I promise.”

\-----------------------

Michael kept his mouth closed while Gavin told his story, going through the many horrible things that he had done for science. For a while, he almost felt sick to his stomach, but when Gavin started to explain his reasoning, he started to feel a little bit better.

Perhaps it was just the rage talking, but Michael understood where Gavin was coming from. Yes, the killing was wrong. No, it shouldn’t have happened. But, in the long run, it was all for the greater good.

Maybe they were justifying something that shouldn’t be justified, Michael wasn’t sure. But by the time his boyfriend had finished his story, he was completely on his side. He had remained straddling his lap the entire time, not wanting to pull away.

Once Gavin’s words had finally died down, he leaned in slowly. He could see the pain that was plastered all over his face, and it broke his heart. Emotional pain was something that he wasn’t very accustomed to, but he figured it was a side affect of the rage he had been given, much like the other emotions he had been feeling.

He kissed under each of his eyes gently, and when Gavin’s eyes fluttered closed, he kissed his eyelids. “It’s okay, Gavin,” he said soothingly. “I promise. I know it’s hard to think about. But I’m not judging you.”

“You don’t want to leave me?”

“I promised you I wouldn’t, didn’t I?”

There was slight hesitance in Gavin’s voice when he finally responded. “That’s not the only reason, is it? You don’t just feel guilty?”

“Of course not. That’s not the kind of person I am. You fucking know that.”

Gavin nodded, biting his lower lip, and letting out a low groan. Michael felt himself becoming increasingly turned on, but he tried to distract himself away from it. This wasn’t the time. His boyfriend needed comforting. Not fucking. Though fucking could probably help too.

He shook the thoughts away, turning his attention back to Gavin.

“It’s just hard, you know?” Gavin whispered. “Knowing that you’ve done all these horrible things, and not being able to change them. It’s the worst feeling in the world. Th-that’s why I don’t like the idea of taking rage. It makes me violent. I don’t like violent because of what it makes me remember.”

Michael knit his eyebrows together in confusion. “You liked violence when it had to do with me. What was that all about?”

Gavin swallowed heavily, and averted his eyes. “That’s the thing,” he said, his voice barely able to be heard, even in the silence that surrounded them. “That’s what scares me. The rage. It’s extremely attractive to me, even when it shouldn’t be.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that sometimes I wonder if the violence was a good thing. That it wasn’t wrong. That it was exactly what it needed to be.”

Michael started. He never would have thought that Gavin was capable of those thoughts. Sure, the same things had been floating through his head since the very first day he had started on rage. But the fact that Gavin felt that way as well - it almost made him feel an even stronger connection to him.

He knew it was wrong, but he couldn’t help it. He was attracted to the darkness inside of Gavin, just as the reverse was true for Gavin. Michael couldn’t stop himself from pressing himself forwards, even closer to Gavin.

“Michael? What are you doing? I was expecting you to hate me after that. I’m not at all the person you thought I was.”

“No. Maybe you’re not the person I thought you were.” Michael was whispering against his lips now. “Or maybe you are. But now there’s at least a possibility that you’re the person I hoped you would be.” With that, he closed the distance between their lips, closing his eyes tightly, and trying to forget just how wrong this entire thing really was.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another sex chapter, ladies and gentlemen. These guys need to learn how to work out their problems in ways that don't include fucking the shit out of each other.

For a moment, Gavin didn’t kiss back. The entire situation was extremely messed up, and he didn’t think that it was healthy. But he had missed his boyfriend, and as much as he tried to deny it, this was exactly what he wanted.

He slid one of his hands up Michael’s chest, while the other wrapped around his neck. He tilted his head and deepened the kiss, pushing himself that much closer. Rather than waiting for the other to take it further, Gavin decided to take the initiative himself, and ran his tongue hesitantly across Michael’s lower lip.

Michael gasped, pulling back slightly and taking a breath before pushing their lips together once more. This time, his lips were slightly parted, allowing Gavin the access he had been asking for previously. Gavin was slow with his movements, as Michael had previously been the one to dominate their kisses, and that was the way he liked it.

The other man seemed to sense this caution, and pulled back slightly. He ran his fingers gently through Gavin’s hair, not speaking for what seemed like forever. “Are you alright, Gav?” he asked finally. “I didn’t really think about it. I’m sorry. You’re okay with this, right? I wasn’t just jumping to conclusions?”

Gavin shook his head violently, and Michael let out a low chuckle. “No,” Gavin said. “It’s nothing like that. It’s just that -” he trailed off, slightly embarrassed about the words he wanted to say. Michael had always seemed so eager to lead, but now he was giving in a little, despite the fact that he was currently on top.

“What’s the matter?”

“I-I don’t want you to hold back.”

\-----------------------

Michael tensed as soon as he heard the words. Gavin smirked at his reaction, and Michael rolled his eyes. “Fuck you and your smugness.”

“That’s the idea.”

As much as he tried to resist, Michael couldn’t help but swallow and lick his lips. There was something about the way that Gavin blatantly flirted that was extremely attractive to him. He seemed to be so outgoing and energetic, but the minute they got into a sexual situation, he became extremely submissive. Suddenly, a thought hit Michael.

“So that’s the problem, then.”

“What?”

“I wasn’t being as aggressive as I normally am. You like that?”

Gavin bit his lip slightly, and Michael sucked in a sharp breath. Then Gavin nodded, and he had to stop himself from doing so again. “God, Gavin,” he muttered, pressing their foreheads together, gripping the hair at the back of his neck. “You could have told me that sooner.” 

“I thought you would think it was weird,” he stammered, his face turning bright red. Michael grinned and shook his head.

“I don’t know why you would think that. Have you seen me lately? I’ve been trying so hard to control myself around you. It’s fucking difficult, let me tell you. I knew you thought my rage was hot, but I didn’t think you’d like it all the fucking time.”

Gavin groaned slightly, and the thought that he was making Gavin like this with only his words went straight to his crotch. “Wow, Gav,” he whispered, leaning down to whisper in the man’s ear. “That wasn’t even dirty. I never thought you would be much of one for talking during sex. You normally don’t talk very much yourself.”

Another sound came from Gavin’s parted lips, and his head was thrown back. “I know I don’t talk much. But you have a really sexy voice. Especially right now.”

“So it’s okay to kiss you then?”

Gavin grabbed the back of his head, pulling him forwards and attaching his lips desperately to his. He kissed him long and hard before pulling away, still breathing heavily. He stared at Michael with lidded eyes, and a shiver made his way through Michael’s body at the intensity in them. “Did that answer your question? I’ve said it before, and I meant it - everything is okay. Unless I specifically say not to do something one day, it’s all fine.”

\------------------------

Gavin closed his eyes tightly as the words left his lips, not even quite sure what he was saying anymore. He believed in everything he was saying wholeheartedly, but he had never before become this submissive with another person.

There was just something about Michael alone that appealed to him. Made him want to have the other in complete control. At first, he had thought it was the rage. That Michael was just so attractive when he was in control. But there was more to it than that. It was a trust issue.

Despite the fact that Michael was constantly going off on other people, he had never really hurt Gavin. Sure, there had been the odd times when he would start screaming at him, mostly when they had been playing video games. But it had all been in good fun, and would sometimes even apologize afterwards.

Gavin understood that. Michael never had that same reaction to other people. Only to Gavin. That made Gavin want to trust him. To give him his all. So he said it. Told Michael, against his better judgement. And God, was he glad he did.

As soon as he spoke, a quiet moan came from the man on top of him, and Michael had his hands in his hair, pulling on it gently. “I don’t think you know how fucking hot that is,” Michael muttered, pressing their lips together in a heated kiss.

He wanted to come up with a smart retort - something about how he knew just how attractive it was. But he didn’t. Because his thoughts were too busy focusing on something else. Gavin ran his hands up Michael’s back, still on top of his shirt. Since he had just told Michael that he wanted him to take control, he thought it would be best if he let him make the first moves.

It turned out that Gavin didn’t have to wait long, because Michael’s hands were up his shirt a moment later, running quickly over the skin of his chest before circling around to his back. He ran his nails gently over the skin, and Gavin couldn’t help but let out a moan. He had never been one for anything like this, but the fact that it was Michael really turned him on.

\---------------------

Michael bit back a moan of his own as soon as he heard Gavin, and he pulled back from their kiss, his hands still underneath Gavin’s shirt. Panting heavily, he ran his hands down to the bottom of Gavin’s shirt, tugging it up and over his head in one swift movement. Gavin’s hands went to his shirt, but he swatted them away, smiling and kissing him lightly.

“Hold on one minute, okay?” he murmured, pushing the other man onto his back and still kissing him. “This is about you right now.”

_And me too_ , he thought to himself, quickly pressing his lips to the skin of Gavin’s neck. Previously, he had been cautious with his marks, only leaving a few. They were visible marks, it was true, but he hadn’t made quite as many as he had wanted to.

The fact that he could make another person writhe and moan without even touching them where they needed it most was really hot to him. He began to nip gently at the skin, sucking and marking all along Gavin’s neck. A whimper escaped his lips, and the sound sent a jolt through Michael’s body.

“Michael,” he whimpered, clawing at his back, and squeezing his eyes tightly shut.

“Hmm?”

His hands were tugging at the bottom of his shirt once more, and Michael sat up, causing Gavin to groan. “You said this is for me, right?”

“Yeah.” 

“Then can you take your shirt off? Please?”

Michael didn’t respond with words, but rather just pulled his top off quickly, throwing it to join Gavin’s on the floor. He leaned back down, whispering into Gavin’s ear. “Is this better?”

“Much,” the other man replied, then groaned when Michael leaned into his chest, attaching his lips to one of his nipples. Gavin made a whining noise in the back of his throat, and Michael felt his jeans grow slightly tighter.

A moment later, Gavin’s hands were in his hair, tugging on it harshly, and Michael was moaning himself. “Fuck, Michael.” The words were broken and he looked down at the other with glazed over eyes. Michael swirled his tongue a couple of times before moving to the other, still maintaining eye contact with the other man.

After moving on, Michael continued to leave marks all over Gavin’s body. “I - I don’t see how you get anything out of this,” Gavin moaned after Michael finally made his way back to Gavin’s lips, nipping at them lightly.

Michael shrugged, pushing their lips together harshly. “I don’t know,” he murmured against his lips. “Maybe hearing your noises make me hard.”

\---------------------

Gavin tried his best to bite back a moan, but wasn’t able to restrain himself. His hands were back on Michael’s back in a second, pulling him back down to him and rutting his hips up, wanting the other to know that he was already half hard.

He hadn’t realized that he could be so turned on by someone sucking all over his body, but there was always time to learn new things, and Gavin wanted to let Michael teach him.

“I need you so badly, Michael. You don’t understand.”

Michael had responded to his desperate actions by grinding down in turn, immediately leaning down for an open mouthed kiss. His hands were already at his waist by the time he had spoken, and a moan escaped him.

“Same here,” he muttered, instantly beginning to work on the button. He seemed to grow frustrated, and a minute later, the button had popped off, and was sent bouncing across the room. Michael groaned and buried his face in the crook of Gavin’s neck. “Sorry about that,” he breathed against the skin, unzipping his jeans in the process. “Let me make it up to you.”

Gavin gasped as Michael’s hand pushed past his boxers and grasped his length firmly, beginning to stroke him. He grabbed at Michael’s shoulders, his fingernails digging into the skin. Michael groaned, pushing his face even further into Gavin’s neck, but continuing to pump him.

“Michael,” he managed. “Michael, you need to stop.”

Immediately, his hand was removed, and his hands were on either side of Gavin’s neck. He stared down at him and raised an eyebrow, and Gavin shivered. “What’s the matter?”

“I just didn’t want to come in my pants,” Gavin muttered, blushing slightly and pulling the man in for another kiss. He felt Michael smiling against his lips, and resisted the urge to tell him off. Michael’s hands were back at his pants a moment later, pushing the jeans down his legs, and Gavin was immediately working at the fastening on Michael’s.

Both pairs were off a minute later, and Michael was grinding back down into Gavin, the feeling that much more prominent due to the fact that there was one less layer separating them.

\------------------------

Never before had Michael ever felt so physically attracted to a person in any way, sexual or otherwise. So when a knock sounded on the door, he felt like he wanted to throw something.

“Fucking hell!” he yelled, still not moving from his position on top of Gavin. “What the fuck do you want? This is the third time. The third fucking time you’ve interrupted us, and, quite frankly, I’m tired of it!”

A nervous voice came from the other side of the door. “Well, Amanda said that we probably shouldn’t cut you guys off. But we have lube. If you want it.”

Michael knit his eyebrows together, trying to put two and two together. He didn’t understand why they would want to help them in any way, much less when they were having sex in one of their prison cells. But the promise of something that would make it easier for the both of them was enough for Michael to get to his feet.

He had run out of fucks to give, so he didn’t really care that the erection in his boxers was obvious. The act was obviously understood, so there shouldn’t be any surprises. He walked to the door. “Right,” he said loudly. “I’m right inside the door. Just give me what I want.”

The door opened a minute later, and Michael’s shoulders were being pushed back. He laid on his back, his head spinning. A container hit the floor next to him, and the door was shut again. “Sorry about that,” the voice said. “Never can be too careful. If you two had gotten out, Amanda never would have forgave me.”

There was the sound of pattering footsteps, and Michael mentally face palmed. He hadn’t even thought about escaping in his sex drugged state. If the thought would have crossed his mind, he would have been able to overcome the guard’s strength, he was sure of it. He groaned loudly before grabbing the container and crawling over to the other man.

“You too lazy to get up?”

“Shut the fuck up,” Michael muttered, lying down on top of Gavin once more. Though this time he didn’t grind, nor kiss, he just lie there. “You love me.”

Gavin groaned, pushing his hips into Michael’s once more. “Of course I do,” he replied. “But come on, Michael. There’s no need to be horrible. Please. Can we just finish what we started?”

Michael chuckled slightly, grinding down a single time. He kissed Gavin gently on the lips, before sliding his boxers down. His own followed soon after. “I don’t think you understand what I want to do to you, Gavin,” Michael muttered as he ground his hips down.

\-------------------------

Both men moaned at the sensation, and Gavin struggled to reply. “Fuck. Michael, I don’t care. Just do it. Please. Fuck me. I don’t need stretched. It hasn’t been long enough.”

“But I can’t be as rough as I want to be,” Michael replied, leaning down and kissing Gavin’s neck once more. “No matter how much we want to deny it, these floors are still fucking stone. I want to be rough. I don’t want to hurt you.”

Gavin made a noise of frustration, grabbing the lube from Michael’s hands. The other man jumped, but he continued, warming some of the lube in his hands, and starting to stroke Michael’s length. For what wasn’t the first time that night, Michael basically face planted into Gavin’s chest, moaning loudly.

One of Gavin’s hands made it’s way to Michael’s face as he continued to pump him. He led their lips together, and Michael panted heavily into his mouth. Soon, he was pushing Gavin’s hands away, and his tip was lined up.

“You’re sure about this?” Michael asked quietly. “We can still reconsider.”

“Michael. Damn you and your thoughtfulness. Fuck me. Right now.”

\-------------------------

That was all the motivation that Michael needed to continue, and he was pressing forwards slowly. His tip entered Gavin, and he moaned loudly at the feeling. He was much tighter than he had been before, and Michael looked up to make sure that Gavin was still doing okay. His face was contorted slightly in pain, but the minute eye contact was made, he nodded.

Michael continued to push forwards until he was completely inside. A layer of sweat covered both men’s bodies, and Michael wrapped his arms around the other, his hands resting on the floor underneath Gavin’s back.

“Michael, what are you doing?” 

“Thinking of you, Gav. I’d much rather my hands get scratched up than you.”

“I don’t care. Honestly.” 

“I know. But I do.” With that, he pulled out almost all of the way and thrust back in, a lot more roughly than either of them were used to. Gavin let out a strangled moan, and Michael bit his lip. He was in a combination of pleasure in pain; the tightness around his cock was absolute bliss, but his hands had scraped roughly against the floor in the process.

As he pulled out once more, preparing himself for another especially rough thrust, Gavin mumbled something under his breath.

“What?”

“That was it. You had it.”

“On the first go?”

Gavin nodded his head violently. “Yes, Michael. I’m so close already. God, Michael. Please, just do something.”

“I can’t touch you,” he replied as he thrust in again, moaning as he saw the look of pleasure that overtook Gavin’s face. “I have to keep my hands on the floor.”

“Then can I touch myself?”

Michael shook his head. “If it’s okay, I want to make you come.”

\----------------------

Gavin bit his lip and threw his head back, his hands reaching to grip in Michael’s hair. He swallowed hard and nodded. “Alright.”

Michael began to thrust again, harder and quicker each time. He saw the pained look on Michael’s face and became instantly concerned. But in his pleasure, it was hard to ask if he was okay. He managed anyways. “Michael - God, fuck - Are you alright? Fuck.”

The other man only grunted and nodded his head. Then he moaned. “God, Gavin. I’m so fucking close.”

Those simple words sent Gavin over the edge himself, and, despite the fact he had said the same thing before about sex with Michael, he had never had an orgasm so good in his life. He moaned loudly, clenching tightly, and Michael followed soon afterwards.

He collapsed on top of him after pulling out, and Gavin smiled, kissing the top of his head. Michael smiled lazily up at him, removing his hands from behind his back. He looked at the back of his hands and made a face.

“What’s the matter?”

“Just a bit scratched up.”

Gavin grabbed Michael’s hands and started at how bad they actually looked. He rolled Michael off of him, who muttered in annoyance.

“Michael! Why the hell would you do that?”  Michael shrugged, touching the scraped skin gingerly. “It felt good. I didn’t want to stop.” He looked at Gavin and winked. “And I don’t regret a minute of it.”


	20. Chapter 20

The two men lay on the ground, too tired to move. Gavin moved a bit closer to Michael, throwing an arm over his body and pulling him into him. Michael turned to face him, kissing his forehead and letting his lips rest there.

“What do you think that was all about?” Gavin asked quietly, his head resting on Michael’s arm. “The whole deal with the lube, I mean. It seemed kind of out of character.” Gavin heard Michael sigh deeply, his other hand wandering over Gavin’s back as he remained quiet.

Finally, he spoke. “I don’t know, honestly. It’s kind of messed up. First, they overdose me on emotion, then they help us out. Truthfully, I’m kind of confused about the whole thing.”

“How are you feeling anyways?” Gavin asked, tilting his head to look up at Michael. He had been lying in such a way that he had to look up to him, and he liked it that way. “What with the rage and everything. It wasn’t exactly a light dose they gave you. I was worried. I thought you were dead.”

“Nah. I’m alive and kicking. They’re not putting me down that easily.” Michael gazed into Gavin’s eyes, refusing to break eye contact. After a moment, Gavin broke it instead, pushing his face into Michael’s chest.

“I’m glad.”

“I’m not exactly feeling the greatest, but I’m definitely not dead.”

“What’s the matter?”

“Just my head. It hurts like a bitch.”

Just as Gavin was about to respond, there was another knock on the door.

\---------------------

Michael leapt to his feet, his eyes snapping with anger. “Fucking goddamnit!” he yelled, as loud as he could. He wanted them to hear just how fucking angry he was. “I’m sick and tired of your damn shit! What the fuck do you assholes want?” He stormed over to the door, then turned back to Gavin.

“I hope you don’t care that I’m not putting any fucking clothes on, Gav, but I’ve run out of fucks to give.” Then he turned back to the door. “What the hell do you want?”

The door was still closed, but a small voice came from behind it, most likely the same man that had brought them the lube. The man hadn’t necessarily looked like he would be easily intimidated, but Michael on rage was a force to be reckoned with.

“I - Amanda said to let you go.”

“Wait. What the hell?”

“I - I don’t know. I’m just following orders. She said that once you two had... finished, to come and let you know that you’re free to go. I’m unlocking the door.” As soon as the lock had clicked, Michael flung the door open, and the man covered his eyes.

“Fuck, man. Cover up or some shit. Please.”

“Sorry,” Michael muttered, picking up his boxers off the floor and pulling them on quickly. “Like I told Gavin, I ran out of fucks to give. I’m good now.”

The man removed his hands from his eyes, giving him a hesitant glance. “You and your boyfriend can leave whenever you want to.”

Michael eyed him cautiously, before looking back to Gavin, who looked just as confused as he felt. He had also pulled on a pair of boxers, and Michael had to resist the urge to tease him - they had bigger matters on their hands after all.

“So why are you guys letting us go again?”

“Look, man. Do you want to leave or not?”

“Yes! Of course I want to leave! I don’t want to stay in some shitty cell for the rest of my life. But this is beyond suspicious. For all I know, I’m going to be fucking knifed in some random alleyway as soon as I leave.”

“Amanda received some orders. That’s all I can tell you. Turns out she wasn’t doing her job right, or some shit.”

“Damn straight,” Gavin muttered, and Michael managed to keep a normal face.

“So you’re letting us go?” he asked again. “Just to be sure. You’re not going to kill us.”

“Nope. Not going to kill you. Not unless you make the first move.” The man turned, and Michael stared after him, closing the door a moment later.

\-----------------------

“I - What?” Gavin exclaimed as Michael hurriedly began dressing. Michael shrugged, tossing a shirt at him. “Michael! We’re not even cleaned up! And you broke the button on my jeans.” Gavin crossed his arms over his chest, and Michael groaned.

“Come on, Gav. We’re fucking getting out of here. We can go get some new fucking clothes. I don’t know about you, but I think I’d like to get out of this hellhole.”

“But Dan -”

“What? Dan will know we fucked a couple times? He guessed that the minute I met him.” Michael shot him a smirk, and Gavin got to his feet, grumbling the whole time.

“Well fine then. Be a fucking grump about it. But I’m happy as shit that we’re getting out of here. I’d like to fuck you in reasonable conditions for a change.”

Gavin felt the heat rushing to his face, and Michael smiled, walking over to him and leaning up to kiss him. “It’ll be okay, Gavin,” he mumbled after they pulled apart. “I know it’s weird. But best to get the weird stuff over with now, right?”

He sighed, and nodded, not wanting to say anything more. He pulled his clothes on quickly, gritting his teeth at the sensation. However, as much as he hated to admit it, he agreed with Michael. It would be great to leave.

It was only a matter of minutes before they were leaving the warehouse, looking around hesitantly. “I don’t know about you Gav, but I don’t have a fucking clue where we are.”

Gavin groaned, his head falling back in frustration. “Nope. Not a clue.”

“Well then. I guess it’s time to start walking. I’d steal one of their fucking cars, but I don’t want to give them some kind of bullshit incentive to start shooting at us.”

\---------------------

Amanda stood at the window, watching as the two men walked away. Burns came up behind her, tapping her shoulder lightly. She jumped and a moment later had him in an arm bar. “I give, I give,” he choked out, and she relaxed.

“Sorry,” she muttered, turning back to the window. “You can’t startle me like that. I can’t control myself half the time.” She paused. “Did you need something?”

“Yes, Ma’am. Ryan... he’s on the phone.”

It only took a second for her to spin around again. “Where is it?” she demanded. “Where’s the phone? Give it to me. Right now.”

“No need to be so bossy,” Burns muttered, handing her the phone.

“Yes, hello? Mr. Haywood? It’s Amanda.” She made a shooing motion with her hand towards Burns, who grumbled as he walked away, hands in his pockets.

“Amanda! Long time, no see. Or talk, rather.” 

“It hasn’t really been that long, sir.”

“If I say it was a long time, it was a long time.” Amanda swallowed hard, and she recognized what it was like for her employees. To be absolutely terrified of your employer was absolute torture. She promised herself that she would be nicer to Burns and Heyman. Just like she promised every time.

“Yes sir,” she said timidly. “I’m sorry, sir.”

“Not a problem. So you did as I said?”

“Yes sir.”

“Walk me through it, please. Just so I know that you remembered everything.”

“I sent a man to make them think I was on their side.”

“And you did that how?”

Amanda hesitated. “Umm... well... the two of them are together. Gavin and Michael. I’m sure you knew that.”

“Yes, what of it?”

“Well, we put them in a room together. And things happened. So we gave them lube.”

A deep chuckle came from the other side of the receiver, and Amanda sighed a silent breath of relief. “Good. Then what?”

“Nothing sir.”

“What?”

“Sir. When Michael was injected with rage, we also implanted a tracer into him. We weren’t sure if the dosage would kill him, but if it didn’t, we wanted to be safe. It wasn’t necessary to give them extra clothes with a tracer, because Michael already has one in him.”

“And what about Gavin? He’s the one that really matters.”

“If you want us to follow him, sir, then I’m sure that he’ll follow Michael anywhere he goes.”

\--------------------------

Hours had passed before Michael and Gavin came across any sign of life. Despite what they had been hoping, they really had been dropped off in the middle of nowhere. However, they did eventually make their way to a small town.

Gavin had been complaining practically the whole way, and Michael was getting tired of it. He didn’t mean to get feisty with his boyfriend, but sometimes he just couldn’t help it.

“Michael, I’m so tired.”

“Shut the hell up, Gavin. We’ve found fucking life.”

At those words, Gavin stuck out his lower lip and pouted a bit, but Michael quickly pushed the thought out of his mind. Gavin would get over it. He knew that he was just tired and irritable. That was why they got along so well.

They trudged their way over to a police station, pausing outside the door.

“Last time I fucking came to one of these places, they didn’t do shit,” Michael muttered, and Gavin shot him an inquisitive look.

“I’m sure they’ll do fine this time.”

“Sure Gav. Whatever.”

Gavin pushed the door open, and Michael followed after him. He couldn’t help his eyes from traveling down to Gavin’s ass, and ignored anyone who shot him a disapproving glance.

They made their way to the front desk, where a man was sitting with his feet up. It was obvious that it was a small town, and this was most likely the officer.

“How can I help you boys today?” the man asked, raising an eyebrow. His eyes scanned their bodies, and Michael couldn’t help but squirm nervously under his gaze.

“I was wondering if you could fucking help us or some shit.”

“How so?”

“The both of us - he’s Gavin, I’m Michael - we were kidnapped and held against our will. By some people we don’t know. They were posing as Austin police officers -”

Here the man cut Michael off. “Austin? That’s where you two are from?”

“Yeah?”

“Well you’re quite a ways away from Austin. A couple hours at least.”

Michael groaned loudly, and Gavin hit him on the arm. He glared at him, but before he had a chance to respond, Gavin was talking.

“I’m sorry about him, officer. You’ll have to forgive him. That’s something else. The people that were holding us injected him with rage until he passed out. He’s still suffering the side effects.”

“I see,” the man said, eyeing the both of them. “Well, if you two want to show me where these assholes are hiding out, I’d like to go arrest them for you.” He paused for a moment, extending a hand. “I’m Miles by the way.”

“Nice to meet you,” Gavin said, taking his hand. “Like I said before, I’m Gavin."

Michael wasn’t necessarily in the mood to be polite, but when Gavin elbowed him hard in the ribs, he groaned and took the other’s hand and gave it a firm shake. “Michael,” he muttered. "Though Gavin fucking said it already."

\--------------------

Gavin wanted to scold Michael for being so impolite, but he knew that he had to cut the man some slack. Neither one of them even knew where they were, and they were hours away from home as it was.

They both followed Miles out of the door and to the police car.

“Sorry about the size, fellas. How many people are there to arrest?”

“Three, that we know of,” Michael muttered.

“We can share the front seat,” Gavin piped up, and Miles raised an eyebrow.

“You’re both comfortable with that?”

Michael took Gavin’s hand in his own, and Gavin felt the heat rushing to his face. “He’s my fucking boyfriend. I sure as hell should be okay with sharing a seat with him.”

“Oh. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you guys were together,” he replied brightly. “That’s cool. I wasn’t going to say anything, but you guys are cute.”

When Gavin turned to look at Michael, he saw that his face was also red. “Thanks,” he said casually, looking away.

“Alright then. You guys ready?”

“Yeah,” Gavin said, following soon after Michael, sitting on his lap in the front seat.

Miles looked at them hesitantly, then shrugged. “It’s not exactly legal, but for the situation at hand, it’ll have to do.”

Then they were driving, both Michael and Gavin giving instructions to the place they had been held.

\------------------------

Twenty minutes later, they were at the warehouse. Michael’s legs were starting to hurt from Gavin’s weight, and he almost wished he would have told Gavin to sit in the back until they got there. But the fact that he was able to wrap his arms around his waist totally made up for it.

The cars that had been their previously were now gone, and Michael’s entire body tensed. “Fuck,” he cursed, and Miles looked at him, a startled expression on his face.

“What’s wrong?”

“The cars. They had fucking cars.”

He had swung the door open a minute later, pushing Gavin out and following after him. They rushed to the front of the building, peering in through one of the boarded up windows.   

“These windows weren’t boarded before,” Gavin whimpered, a note a fear in his voice. Michael took Gavin’s hand in his own, giving it a quick squeeze.

“The floors are covered with dust, you guys,” Miles said quietly. “There hasn’t been anyone in there in a long time.”

“But we were just there,” Gavin insisted, his eyes pleading. “You have to believe us.”

Miles hesitated. “I’m sorry. But I don’t think I do. Where did you say you were from?”

“Austin.”

He seemed to be considering something. Then he spoke again. “Because I’m a nice guy, I’ll drive you guys back. But something like this had better never happen again. Messing with the law is not cool. There could have been actual crimes that needed dealing with.”

Michael was about to shout at him, when he felt Gavin squeeze his hand tightly. He looked at him, and saw the other man shoot him a warning glance. “Fine,” he muttered. “I’m still sticking to our story. But a ride would be appreciated.”


	21. Chapter 21

The car ride back to Gavin’s house was absolute torture. If the two had thought that the ride there had been long, the drive back was longer. Tension was high, and Michael and Gain had both made their way to the back of the vehicle. Not only did they want to be with each other, but Miles didn’t exactly seem to be in a good mood.

Luckily for them, the back area was soundproof, so they were free to talk as they wished. Gavin looked at Michael hesitantly, biting his lip. Michael sighed, wrapping his arm around Gavin’s waist and pulling him into him. He leaned his head against his shoulder.

“I’m sorry Gav,” he muttered. “For yelling at you earlier. I didn’t mean it. I was just irritable. Plus, I’m still trying to figure out what the fuck just happened. We were in that warehouse. That was the right one, correct?”

Gavin nodded, kissing the top of Michael’s head lightly. He hadn’t been offended by the other man’s words, despite his worries. However, he was stressing just as much. “It’s fine,” he murmured. But yeah. It was definitely the right one. I double checked. The layout on the inside was exactly the same.”

“You fucking remembered that shit?”

He shrugged. “Yeah. I don’t see why I wouldn’t. I have a pretty good memory. You have to, in order to be involved in the my business.” As he spoke the words, he eyed the officer nervously. Thus far, Miles hadn’t questioned what they did for a living, and he was currently hoping that trend would continue.

A moment later, he felt Michael’s hand on his neck, pulling him in. He closed his eyes as his lips met Michael’s, and for what might have been the first time, it didn’t feel sexual. It felt like Michael was just trying to make him feel better. And indeed, perhaps that was the case.

Michael looked up at him, a slight smile tugging at the corners of his lips. He ran his hands through Gavin’s hair, messing it up, and Gavin didn’t care. As Michael had said before, Dan was going to be suspicious anyways.

\----------------------

There was a sudden pounding on the glass, and both Michael and Gavin jumped in their seats, Michael scowling angrily as the officer’s voice was heard. “I’m going to need to ask you guys to cool it down back there. I know how it can be. But this is a police vehicle.”

“Fucking hell,” Michael breathed, turning to shoot Gavin a pained look. Then he slipped his hands behind his back, putting up both of his middle fingers. It was something that made him feel better about the whole situation, without getting him into a lot of trouble. He turned back to Gavin, already feeling a lot better.

Grabbing him by the back of the neck, he pulled him in again, kissing his lips gently several times. He knew how much Gavin was probably struggling with this whole situation, and, if at all possible, he wanted to help.

Eventually, the car came to a stop, and Michael pulled away, leaving Gavin with a dazed look in his eyes. He shivered at the feeling it sent through him, but attempted to push the thought away in favor of looking around. The area was familiar, as they had arrived at Gavin’s house. Michael was surprised that Miles had been able to find his way with only an address, but he was thankful that it was the case.

Opening the door, he took Gavin’s hand in his own, pulling the other man out of the car after him. Miles followed a moment afterwards. Michael shot him a puzzled glance. “This is it, officer. Thank you.”

“Oh yes. I know this is it. But I need to know if you have anyone that I could talk to.”

“Excuse me?”

“To verify that you haven’t been here during the times that you said you were kidnapped.” Michael felt the rage starting to build inside of him, and he tightened his hands into fists. A whimper escaped Gavin’s lips, and he immediately loosened his grip. He had forgotten he had even been holding the other man’s hand.

The officer turned his back and began to walk towards the house, and Michael looked up at Gavin. “I’m sorry, Gav,” he murmured. “I didn’t mean to. I wasn’t thinking. That was stupid of me.”

Gavin only smiled slightly, lifting Michael’s hand to his lips and kissing it. He held it at his lips for a moment, which caused Michael to blush and turn away. Then, tugging on Gavin’s hand, he followed after Miles.

\---------------------

Dan swallowed hard the moment he saw the car in his driveway. There were so many ways that this could go. It could be someone coming to check up on the reports he had filed for Michael and Gavin’s disappearance. However, at the same time, it could be the very people that had taken the others, this time coming for him.

Any logical reasoning went out the window the instant that thought hit him, and he was unable to think properly. And so he did what any self respecting person would do. He pretended that he didn’t even know there was someone there. The remainders of a hangover were still present, so if he could play them up a bit, he knew that it would seem reasonable.

He just needed some time to think.

But when the doorbell rang for a third time, he knew that he didn’t have much longer. And so he got to his feet, wandering to the door. He swung it open, and allowed his eyes to grow wide. For a moment, it was all an act, but when he saw Michael and Gavin trailing the officer, the surprise was real.

“Oh my god,” he exclaimed, running over to Gavin. He looked as if he was about to give him a hug, but then he looked him up and down and took several steps back. There was a look of disgust on his face. “It’s good to see you, B,” he said. “But I think it’s understandable for me to want to keep my distance.”

Gavin shrugged, and Dan was relieved when he spoke. “It’s alright, B. It’s good to see you too. Didn’t know if I’d ever get to see you again.”

“Nice to see you too, asshole,” Michael muttered angrily, crossing his arms over his chest.

Dan couldn’t help but chuckle at the man’s reaction. “It seems that your boyfriend’s acting a little feisty. What would that be about?”

“Perhaps the fact that I was fucking kidnapped and injected with rage until I fucking blacked out. So fuck you and your jokes.”

“Chill out, man,” Dan replied, though he did actually feel a little sorry for what he had said. Then he turned to the officer. “I can’t believe you found them. I’ve been looking everywhere for them.”

“Yeah. About that. I’m going to need to ask you a couple of questions.”

Dan raised an eyebrow, but shrugged. “Alright, that’s fine. Does it just need to be the two of us?”

“That would be preferred.”

“Michael, Gavin, how about you two go change. Or whatever it is that you two do. I’m going to talk to the nice man here.”

Gavin chuckled, and Michael mumbled something about being treated like a child before he was pulled away.

\---------------------

“I just realized that I don’t fucking have any clothes,” Michael groaned, throwing his hands up in frustration. Gavin was rummaging through his closet, trying to find something clean. “Those assholes took my bag. That was everything I owned.”

Gavin tossed a shirt at him, chuckling at the sound of irritation that escaped his lips. “Gav, this isn’t fucking going to fit me.”

“It’ll be good enough.”

“But -”

“No buts,” Gavin said, turning around quickly. “Plus. I’m sure you’d look good in anything. Just like you look good in nothing.”

Michael bit his lip, and Gavin tried his hardest to prevent a grin from spreading across his face. The other man stripped down a moment later, and Gavin quickly looked around to make sure that all of the doors were closed.

“What would I have to pay to get a fucking shower around this place?” Michael asked, looking at him expectantly.

A blush made its way to Gavin’s face as he averted his eyes. He didn’t want to be caught staring at Michael’s body, even though that was all he really wanted to do. Then Michael was right there next to him, pressing his body up against the wall.

“Why so nervous?” Michael whispered into his ear. “You’ve seen me like this enough.”

Gavin swallowed, and tried to ignore the tightness that was forming in his jeans. “We only have one shower,” he choked out. “You can go first.”

“Or we could go at the same time.”

Gavin bit back a moan, and he himself was surprised at how much just Michael’s voice turned him on. “God Michael,” he managed. “You have to stop being so sexy. I’m still sore from last time. But here you are. And I am extremely turned on."

A cocky grin made its way to Michael’s face as he pressed his lips against Gavin’s own. “There’s other ways to get off,” he murmured. There was a short pause. “Now how about that shower?”

\---------------------

Dan watched the other men leave, and, judging by the way they had been looking at each other, it would be a bad idea to check up on them any time soon. He’d have to see what had happened later.

When he turned back to the officer, the expression on his face was serious. He scratched the back of his neck nervously, extending a hand. “If we’re going to do this, I’d better introduce myself. I’m Dan. Gavin’s best friend.”

“Miles,” the man responded absentmindedly.

“What seems to be the problem?”

“Your friends say that they were kidnapped, yes?”

“Yes.”

“Can you tell me what happened? Exactly?”

“Sure, I guess. Gavin was taken first. The people that took him said they were arresting him. But when Michael went to see him at the prison, they said that they didn’t have him. Then Michael went missing about a day later. Not much more to tell, really.”

“And you believe all of that?”

“Of course I do. Why wouldn’t I?”

Miles shook his head and shrugged. “I have my reasons for doubting their story. And I have some pretty reliable sources. Like my own two eyes. I’m going to let them off the hook this time. But I need you to relay some information to them.”

“What’s that?”

“No one is going to help them any more. They’re both on drugs, that much is obvious. I’m not judging, but I’d say you are too.”

“I’m hung over.”

“And high. But whatever. We’re not going to arrest you guys. You’ve all had enough ‘trouble’ as of late. However, no department is going to help you.”

“What?”  “As of today, the police will now deny all involvement with you, no matter what may happen. We will only arrest you, if the need arises. But we won’t help you.”

Dan’s mind was racing, and he felt like shouting. There was no way that this made sense. They were in more danger now than they had ever been in their entire lives, and the entire government was ignoring them. They were going to ignore that they even existed. However, he managed to pull himself together enough to get a few words out.

“Alright. I’ll let them know.”

\---------------------

“He’s left, sir. Miles.”

“Yes? And did he do his job correctly?”

“As far as I can tell, sir. Dan seems devastated.”

“Alright then.” There was a deep chuckle from the other end of the line, and Amanda felt a shiver run through her body. “You can release his family, then.”

“Sir? I thought you said we were going to kill the woman as a warning? Just to let him that he should never cross us.”

There was a pause. “Amanda. What did I say?"

She swallowed hard and nodded her head, even though he wasn’t there to see it. “I know sir. I wasn’t being defiant. Not at all. I’m just wondering why.” She paused for a moment before responding in a panic. “If that’s alright with you, sir. Of course.”

Another pause. Then the voice resumed. “What can I say? I’m feeling generous.”


	22. Chapter 22

Dan walked into the house, his head dropping into his hands. He had already decided that he would wait to try and talk to Gavin and Michael - based on how they looked, they had already fucked a couple of times, and the last thing he wanted to do was walk in on them.

His mind was racing, and he couldn’t focus on anything. On one hand, he wanted to think that everything was okay. Michael and Gavin were both back, and despite the few things that Michael had said about their imprisonment, they seemed to be doing okay. However, on a completely different note, he wanted to put up a fuss. Make a big deal about the whole thing.

It was obvious that the government didn’t really care about the people by taking away their emotions, but Dan didn’t think that it was possible to care so little. His head was pounding, and he leaned back against the couch, closing his eyes. The others could wake him when they were done.

\--------------------

Gavin had never been so eager in his life. It was strange - the fact that he was still so attracted to Michael in all aspects of the word. He liked him on an emotional level as well as a physical one, which made it that much better.

For a moment, his mind flicked to why Michael had started liking him in the first place. The affection that had been mixed with his rage. And once more, he began to feel guilty. He wanted to tell Michael all about what he had done, but there was something else in the back of his mind that as preventing him from doing so.

Fear.

Gavin feared that Michael would leave him. That he would hate him. That he would feel regret for even being with him in the first place. In reality, Gavin knew that it probably wouldn’t be like that at all. Michael would understand, most likely. He had only wanted to help. Help him feel something other than the stereotypical emotions that the government wanted him to.

However, his fear still consumed him. And so, even though his brain wouldn’t stop thinking about the consequences of his actions, he found himself pulling Michael towards the bathroom. Luckily, they didn’t have to leave the room, as it was just an extension of his room. Sometimes it would get a bit awkward when Dan would wander through his bedroom in the mornings to get ready. At that moment though, Gavin was grateful.

\---------------------

Michael let himself be pulled along, entering the bathroom along with him. When he saw the look on Gavin’s face, he raised an eyebrow, pressing the man against the wall, much like he had done previously. His fingers played with the hem of Gavin’s shirt, slipping underneath every so often and caressing the skin of his waist.

“What are you thinking about?”

“Huh? Oh - nothing. Really, it’s not important.”

He smiled up at him, cupping his cheek in his hand and pulling his lips to his. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

Gavin made a pained look, and Michael resisted the urge to question him further. It was quite honestly one of the hardest things he had ever done in his life. All he wanted was his trust - Gavin was his boyfriend, after all. But trust wasn’t something that you could force. Michael knew that better than anyone.

“I just needed you to know that,” he murmured. “Of course, I’m not going to make you tell me anything. I’d like to know what’s up, but it doesn’t really matter.”

The other man said something under his breath, and Michael tried his best to ignore it, sliding his hands underneath his shirt. He kissed Gavin gently once more before pulling away, turning his back and headed towards the shower. It was in his nature to be a bit of a tease, and from the way Gavin had been talking earlier, he probably didn’t mind it too much.

“How the fuck do I use this shower, Gav?” he asked, turning around. Gavin was already stripped down, and his eyes scanned his body shamelessly. He had never really had a chance to properly admire the other’s body; every other time had either been in the dark or extremely dim lighting, and he took the time to observe every inch of it.

When he finally made his way back to Gavin’s face, he noted that his face was completely red, and he grinned broadly. “My god, Gavin. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. You’re my fucking boyfriend. And you’re gorgeous.”

Gavin’s face only grew redder at the words, and Michael bit his lip. He loved to tease the man, to make him blush. Solely because he found him extremely attractive when he was embarrassed. He knew that it was kind of selfish, and if Gavin ever seriously asked him to stop, he would. In a heartbeat. But for the time, he was going to enjoy it.

A moment later, Gavin was at his side, fiddling with the settings of the shower. Then he had stepped inside, and Michael was right behind him. When he turned around, Michael was already there, catching his lips in his own. Gavin seemed to be slightly startled at first, but soon relaxed, closing his eyes and threading his fingers through Michael’s hair.

\-------------------

“Oh god,” Heyman muttered. “Can you please fucking mute that? Goddamn.”

“Is poor Joel opposed to a little bit of seductive moaning?” Burns teased, shoving the other man’s shoulder lightly. However, he did as the other requested, muting the sounds that had been leaking out of the computer.

“They’re touchy, aren’t they? They’re fucking every two seconds, it seems like.” Joel leaned forwards, covering his face with his hands.

“I don’t know. They’re under a lot of stress. I read somewhere that sex helps calm the nerves. Releases stress.”

“Oh really? I could never have fucking guessed,” Joel replied, sitting up straight once more and rolling his eyes. There was a pause. “Hey Burnie?” 

“What?”

“Have you ever talked to Ryan? You know. Personally?” 

“Why does it matter?” Burnie asked, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. “He’s the boss. And he’s smarter than all of us combined. That’s all there is to know.”

“But have you?”

“Yeah.”

“What’s he like?”

“Oh god Joel. What are you, fucking two? Asking all these goddamn questions. I don’t fucking know. He’s smart. Uses big words and shit. Deep voice. I’ve only ever talked to him over the phone.”

“Do you think we’ll ever get the option to leave?”

“Leave?”

“You know. Go away. Get lives of our own? Sometimes I see couples like Michael and Gavin, and can’t help but wonder what it would be like to have that myself.”

“A boyfriend?”

“Maybe. Or just a relationship in general. I don’t fucking know. Maybe I’m crazy.”

Burnie looked at him, then sighed. “No,” he muttered. “You’re not crazy. At least, if you are, then I am too. Because I think about that all the time. But in answer to your question. No. We’ll probably never be able to leave. We made a commitment; if we try to break that, we’ll die. Ryan doesn’t fuck around. And I definitely don’t want to get on his bad side.”

\--------------------

Gavin moaned into Michael’s mouth as the other man started to deepen the kiss, pushing him further back into the shower, against the wall. His hands worked through Michael’s hair, slowly massaging his scalp, and allowing water from the shower to clean it.

A moment later, though, Michael was on his knees, and Gavin’s head fell back against the wall in anticipation. He was already worked up, and the mere thought of Michael sucking him off was enough to pull a moan from his lips.

He forced himself to look down at the other, who was staring up at him with a smirk on his face. “Really? Already?” Gavin tugged gently on Michael’s hair, forcing a moan from his lips in turn.

“Really Michael? Already?”

A blush crept onto Michael’s cheeks, and he slapped Gavin’s thigh gently. “Shut up.” Gavin bit his lip as Michael’s mouth crept closer to his length, breathing on it heavily. It took everything inside of him to not buck his hips forwards, and Michael seemed to sense that.

He pinned his hips to the wall, continuing to breath heavily. Gavin couldn’t hold back the whimper that fought it’s way to the surface. “Michael,” he whined. “Please. Do something.”

Michael licked his lips, maintaining eye contact with Gavin the entire time. Then he leaned forwards, running his tongue lightly along the underside of his length. Even that was enough to force a choked sound out of Gavin’s mouth, and he threw his head back again, this time in pleasure.

Then the other man’s lips were around him, and he wasted no time taking as much of him as he could. He began to bob up and down, causing Gavin to squirm. Michael pulled off completely at that, looking up at him with a disappointed look on his face. Gavin moaned at the lack of contact, and he felt as if he wanted to cry. Of course, he wouldn’t do that.

“Please Michael,” he managed, grabbing Michael’s curls and pushing his head forwards. “Please. Come on. Help me.”

\------------------------

“You keep trying to fuck my mouth. I have to be able to get off too, you know, and I’ll totally jerk off at the same time, but you can’t keep fucking moving.” He waited for some kind of a response from Gavin, but the only thing the other seemed to be able to manage were small whimpers and groans.

A moment later, Michael wrapped his lips around him once more, hollowing his cheeks and starting to move. One of his hands was removed from Gavin’s hips, and he repositioned it to between his own legs, beginning to stroke himself.

It was obvious that Gavin was having a hard time controlling himself, but Michael decided to trust him, deep throating him several times before pulling off completely for air. He returned as quickly as he could, again beginning to pump his own length in time. The touch to his dick caused him to moan around Gavin, and the other man shook.

“Michael - I can’t -”

Michael responded by sucking harder, trying to finish him off. Gavin came into his mouth a few moments later, and the noises that he was making sent Michael into his own orgasm. He was forced to pull off of Gavin, as he was moaning too much to be useful, but he started to stroke Gavin through his own orgasm, some of the other man's come getting onto his face.

After they had both finished, Michael fell onto his back, allowing the water from the shower to cleanse him. “Fuck,” he muttered, when he was finally able to stand.

“You’re telling me. Now how about we get cleaned up? I feel like that was what were were intending to do in the first place.”

\-----------------------

It didn’t take too long for the two to get washed off. Gavin lent Michael some of his clothes, though they were obviously a bit too big for him. Gavin couldn’t help but think that he looked cute. A moment later, they walked down the steps hand in hand, looking for Dan.

Gavin thought that the most obvious place to look for him would be in the lounge, especially considered that was where he spent most of his time when he wasn’t working. However, it was difficult to shake the uneasy feeling that washed over him when he didn’t respond to their calling.

Being kidnapped was bad enough - having one of your friends taken in the same week would have been worse.

However, it turned out that his worrying had been for naught, and they found him just where Gavin had been expecting him to be - in the lounge. They quickly saw why he hadn’t been responding to their calling, for he had fallen asleep on the couch.

As soon as they entered the room, he stirred, his eyes fluttering open and flicking down to the couple’s interlocked hands before focusing on their faces. “Have a nice fuck?”

“Dan!” Gavin exclaimed. “Why are you so obsessed with our sex life? How about you get one of your own? Maybe you won’t worry about ours so much.”

Dan shrugged, and Gavin heard a chuckle from beside him. He glared at Michael, as this really wasn’t the time, but he just responded with a wink. Gavin groaned in frustration, sitting down on the couch, Michael sitting down beside him.

Gavin opened his mouth to speak, but Dan interrupted him before he could even start. “Before you start going on about something,” he said. “There’s something that we need to discuss.”

“What’s that?” Michael snapped, and Gavin squeezed his hand reassuringly. He could tell that the rage was starting to get to Michael. Though as much as it scared him, he thought it was getting about time that he injected himself again as well.

“That police officer - Miles his name was - he said that the police and government have officially denied any association with us. Even if we’re in trouble, they won’t help us.”

“What?” Michael was on his feet, and even though Gavin tried to pull him back down beside him, he couldn’t. “That’s fucking bullshit and they know it!”

“I agree one hundred percent,” Dan replied. “But since when did telling them that ever help anything?”


	23. Chapter 23

Michael wanted to say more. He wanted to curse up a storm and make a big fucking deal about all the bullshit they were being forced to endure. But he couldn’t argue with Dan’s logic. He made a frustrated sound, turning on his heel and storming out of the room. He could feel the rage starting to fade, and all he wanted was to have it back.

There wasn’t a way for him to explain how the drug made him feel, but it was important to him. However, he was far too caught up in himself to be able to ask Gavin to get him some. Luckily for him, the other man followed soon afterwards.

“Michael?” he asked hesitantly, placing his hand gently on Michael’s shoulder. “Are you okay?”

“Not really, Gavin. I’m fucking angry, and my rage is fading. I don’t want it to, but it is anyways.” There was a silence, and Gavin slid his hand back down to Michael’s. He squeezed gently, and pulled him along with him.

“Come on. I have something to show you.”

Gavin’s steps quickened as they made their way to a room in the very back of house. He yanked Michael inside, closing the door behind him. Michael looked around the room, his jaw dropped. He hadn’t known what he was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t this.

All kinds of equipment filled multiple tables, and the walls were lined with bins that Michael assumed contained different types of drugs. “Oh my god, Gavin,” he muttered. “There was an officer right outside this house. What the fuck would you have done if he had seen all this? They would have hauled you off to prison faster than you could blink. That Miles guy knew we were doing something, but he didn’t know you were a dealer.”

There was a slight pause before Gavin responded. “I don’t know. Honestly, it’s never been a problem though.” He dropped Michael’s hand and walked to one of the walls of bins. Michael followed soon afterwards.

“What the fuck is this, anyways?”

Gavin pulled a box off of the shelf and handed it to him. On the front was a label with his name on it. Michael raised an eyebrow and took the lid off, trying not to be too surprised by what was inside. The container was completely filled with rage.

“This is mine?”

“Yep. I’ve had it since day one.”

“How did you know that I’d be back?”

The man grinned. “You were so desperate, Michael. It wasn’t that hard to see that you’d been taking it for a while. Even now. It’s only been a little more than half a day since you were completely blacked out in an overdose. And now you’re looking for more.”

Michael felt a blush start to creep across his cheeks, and he averted his eyes. “Shut up.”

“Make me.”

The last time Gavin had said that to him, Michael had been extremely hesitant, but now it was like second nature. He tossed the box onto a table and wrapped his arms around the other man’s neck, pushing his lips hard against his own. When he pulled away, he winked, causing Gavin to be the one to blush.

“Don’t tempt me like that, Gav.”

\----------------------------

Gavin should have known that teasing Michael would end up being a bad idea - his flirting always seemed to end like this. His face was hot, and he knew that Michael was smirking at him, just as he always did. He didn’t mind it too much, but it did tend to be embarrassing at times.

His mind was pulled away from Michael as he turned to look around the room. He had his own stash hidden away in a corner, where no one would ever find it. But now he needed something more. He needed rage as well. Gavin quickly went to the corner of the room, that was blocked by a row of bookshelves. He knelt down on the ground, and felt Michael hovering over him.

“What are you up to now?” he asked, and Gavin shook his head.

Gingerly, he pried a floorboard up with a metal ruler that he also kept in the corner and removed the small box. “That your drugs?” Michael’s voice was heard again, and Gavin only nodded. He didn’t know why he wasn’t able to speak at the moment, but he didn’t know if he wanted to. There was something about what he was about to do that startled even him.

Gavin replaced the floorboard and placed the box on one of the tables, quickly taking a container of rage out as well.

“You can’t take both, Gavin. Not at the same time. That’s beyond dangerous.”

“I know. That’s what’s worrying me,” Gavin replied, scratching his head. “But I’ll figure something out. It’s what I do for a living, after all.”

\------------------------

Michael tried his best to contain all the emotions that he was feeling, but it was difficult. he wanted to tell Gavin that there was no way he was going to allow him to experiment on himself. He cared too much about him to let him risk his life.

However, on the other hand, Michael knew how he felt. And the last thing you wanted to do was get between a man and his drugs. So he just watched as Gavin pulled out a sheet of paper and a pencil and began to scribble down equations, muttering random numbers under his breath.

His brow was furrowed, his hair was mussed, and he seemed to be focusing intensely. In that moment, Michael realized just how much he had underestimated Gavin. It had seemed second nature to glare at him and call him an idiot, despite how much he loved him. But there was more to it than that.

Gavin was on a whole other level, somewhere that no one else could understand. That was why things he said sounded so stupid at times. Michael just wasn’t able to understand him. He continued to watch for twenty, thirty, forty minutes. When Gavin was finally finished, Michael sighed a breath of relief.

The other man looked up, seemingly startled. Then a look of recognition washed over his face, and he was instantly apologetic. “Oh my god, Michael,” he exclaimed, rushing over to him and wrapping his arms around his shoulders. “I’m so sorry! I just got caught up in my work is all. I do that sometimes. Go off to my own world. It’s all my fault.”

Michael could only chuckle, shaking his head. “It’s fine, Gavin. I was having quite the good time watching you. You’re way more fucking smart than I give you credit for. What was that all about, anyways?”

Gavin blushed, and began to ramble on about something that Michael wouldn’t quite understand. “Hey, hey,” he said quickly, waving a hand in front of Gavin’s face. “Einstein. It’s me you’re talking to here. Speak fucking English. Please.”

“Oh. Right. Sorry. Basically I was trying to come up with a ratio.”

“What for?”

“To determine how much extra rage I can put into my drugs without killing myself - whether it be by an overdose or a suicide because there wasn’t enough.”

\------------------------

Michael began to protest, saying something about how it wasn’t safe, but he caught him in a kiss before he could say anything. “Shh,” he murmured against his lips. “It’ll be fine. I’ve been doing this my whole life. I’ll be fine, I swear.”

“Do you have to take more rage?” Michael asked, closing his eyes tightly and resting his forehead against the other man’s. “I like you the way you are.”

“You don’t think I’d be hot on rage?”

“Well, you’re always hot, so that’s not really fair. It’s your fucking sexy british accent, I swear. I could get off to just your voice.”

“You’re so romantic.”

Michael pulled away, slapping Gavin’s arm playfully. “If you wanted romantic, you shouldn’t have started dating this piece of shit. At least not when I’m on rage. I can try, but I fucking suck at it.”

Gavin giggled a bit, shaking his head. “I was just kidding, Michael. You know that.” He sighed, turning away. He mixed the drug quickly, but was careful to be especially precise. It wasn’t too hard to figure out that even the slightest slip up could result in his death.

“Michael?” He asked hesitantly.

“Huh?”

“You remember before, when I asked you to inject me? And I did you?”

“Of course I fucking remember,” he replied. “That was the first time we officially hung out. We were both drunk as hell, though.”

“Right. But will you do it now? Sober?”

Michael bit his lip, and Gavin tried his best to prevent sucking in a sharp breath. “I don’t know if I can,” he muttered. “What happens if you die? It would be my fault.”

“My calculations are fine. Are you doubting my abilities?” Gavin wanted to say something about the blend he had prepared for Michael himself, but there was no way that he was going to reveal that. Not now at least.

“Of course not. I just... I don’t know.”

“Please?”

“Fine.”

\-------------------------

The two men sat in the lounge, cross legged on the couch. Dan had left the moment he had seen the drugs in their hands, claiming that he didn’t want to be around for the rage that was sure to follow.

Lighting in the room was horrible, and Michael felt vaguely reminded of the first time this had happened. Of course, that time had ended in hot sex, and Michael knew that he was going to have to try hard to control himself from that happening again. Gavin was still sore, and they had both already gotten off twice that day. In addition, he definitely didn’t want to hurt him.

“Tell me again why you want me to do this, Gavin?”

“I trust you. I want to show you that I do.”

“You don’t have to fucking show me anything. I believe every fucking word you say. Which may or may not be a sign of weakness. But what can I say?”

Gavin chuckled, and Michael felt the corners of his mouth tugging upwards despite the unease that he was feeling. He himself bit back a moan as Gavin pierced the needle into his skin, his head dropping backwards and his hands clawing at Gavin’s thighs. He managed to lift his head enough to stare at the other through lidded eyes.

Prodding gently at Gavin’s arm, so as not to hurt him, Michael quickly found the vein and let the needle slide in. “Alright Gav. You ready? In three, two, one.”

As soon as he said one, he felt the rage wash through his body, and he immediately dropped the needle, again much as he had before. He fell onto his back on the floor, his mind going a million different directions. However, despite what the result had been last time, which was extreme sexual attraction, this time he did feel anger.

“How are you feeling?” He managed to spit out.

“My head kind of hurts a bit,” Gavin muttered, grabbing at his head. “This is really fucking weird. I don’t know how you can stand having this in your head all the time.”

“You’re the one that fucking gives it to me. Plus, I hope you’re gonna be okay, because I sure as hell won’t be happy if you put all this on me.”

Gavin looked up, a hurt look on his face. Then his expression turned to one of anger as well.

“Well excuse me for giving you what you wanted,” he snapped. “If you don’t remember, that was the fucking reason you came to me in the first place."

“I never asked for this,” Michael exclaimed, his voice rising. He could tell, somewhere, in the back of his head, that he wasn’t really saying what he wanted to be, but there was nothing that he could do to stop it. The rage had taken complete control of him, and, from the looks of things, it had done the same to Gavin.

“Yes you did!” Gavin said, his voice also becoming a bit louder. “You came to me asking for rage. I just gave you what you wanted.”

“You gave me more than I wanted.”

“Excuse me?” 

“I never asked to get involved with a person, Gav!” Michael was shouting now, and his eyes were welling with tears. He was sorry for every word he was saying, even during the explosion, but he couldn’t hold it back. “I never asked for you!”

Gavin looked stunned, and Michael felt like his heart was being ripped in two. He was just about to try to choke out something about how he didn’t mean it when Gavin spoke again. “Then why did you ask me to be your fucking boyfriend?” Gavin shouted. “It wasn’t me that started this relationship! It was you! I would have been perfectly content with a one night stand. I had grown used to people not liking me back. But there you were, saying that you returned my feelings. I was on top of the world. But now you’re messing with my head, and I don’t know if I can take it.”

“Gavin, I think we need to take a break.”

The other man looked like he was close to tears now, and Michael wanted to punch himself. He didn’t know why he was saying what he was - he didn’t think that this was what he wanted. It was like he was being controlled. Used as a puppet for someone else’s enjoyment. “I just need to think. That’s all.”

Gavin swallowed harshly. “We don’t have to be so abrupt,” he murmured, stepping closer to Michael and cupping his cheek gently in his hand. The tears were running in streams down his face now, and all Michael wanted to do was rush forwards and gather the man in his arms, kissing away his pain. But his body wouldn’t allow it.  
“I need at least a night. I need to figure some things out. I can leave if you want. Or it can be the other way around. I don’t fucking care. But I need some way to sort out my thoughts.”

He stepped back like he had been punched, a look of hurt clearly showing in his eyes. “I can leave,” he said quietly, though his voice was broken. “It’s my house, but I know how it is. You need a place to stay. I need a drink.” And with that, Gavin turned on his heel, storming out of the room and slamming the door behind him.

Michael felt the tears starting to form in his eyes once more, and this time he let them fall. He had only cried twice in his entire life. This was the second. And both times had to do with Gavin.


	24. Chapter 24

Gavin wasn’t sure where he was headed, but he knew that he needed to get away. He hadn’t meant to yell at Michael, and he was regretting it already. But there wasn’t anything that he could do in the moment. The thought crossed his mind that perhaps it was the rage. If that was the case, then he felt bad for Michael. Perhaps he had grown used to it, perhaps he hadn’t. Either wasn’t good.

His steps began to speed up as he burst through the front door of the house. He heard a confused Dan shouting at him from behind, but he simply ignored his words, breaking into a run. For some reason, the sprinting seemed to calm him, and in a few minutes, Gavin found himself at the place he had his first encounter with Michael. Swallowing heavily, he turned away, closing his eyes tightly. Despite what had just happened, he couldn’t bring himself to stop thinking about the other man. 

Eventually, he found himself staring at the bar that Michael had brought him to previously. For a slightly moment, he hesitated, then walked to the entrance. They might not even let him in, Gavin wasn’t sure. But he did know that he needed a drink, and this was where his feet had brought him.

The man that had greeted him and Michael before stood there, looking especially tired. His facial expression brightened slightly when he saw Gavin. “Hey! Gavin, was it? Michael’s boyfriend?” Gavin opened his mouth to speak, but the man resumed a moment later. “I know you guys said you weren’t dating, but after the way he pulled you out of here, I beg to differ.

Gavin felt a blush starting to rush to his cheeks and he shook his head. “A lot’s happened since then.” A lot more than you even know, he thought, staring at the ground. “But that’s not the point. The point is that Michael and I got into a fight. I needed a drink, and this is the first place I thought of. Or rather, my body brought me here involuntarily. I don’t even know if I’m allowed in. But if you could tell me, that would be appreciated.”

He was actually surprised at his own ability to keep a level head in the situation, despite the fact that all he really wanted to do was go around kicking and screaming. The entire thing had actually given him a whole new level of respect for Michael, and the thought that he might have lost him broke him inside.

It was obvious by the look on his face that Michael hadn’t been taking it lightly either, but Gavin was still led to believe that he was starting to wonder what he was even doing with him in the first place. Gavin was snapped out of his thoughts by the voice of the other man. “Yeah, I guess you can. Normally, a person has to be accompanied by someone that’s well known for their first couple of times, but I know how it is. Go ahead.”

Gavin thanked the man before pushing the door to the bar open, wondering for a moment if this was what he really wanted to do. Drinking away his problems wasn’t generally his go to. However, in a situation like this, he wasn’t sure how else to respond.

——————————-

Dan walked into the lounge scarcely a minute after Gavin had left. Michael heard him enter, but ignored his presence, trying to determine what he would even say if the man tried to talk to him. It was determined for him a moment later, when Dan spoke.

“You okay, man?”

Michael looked up at him, a look of desperation on his face. “Does it look like I’m fucking okay? I’m fucking crying in your lounge. That can’t exactly be normal.”

Dan shrugged. “I was just asking.”

“And I was just saying what should be fucking obvious.”

“Are you going to tell me what the fuck is wrong or am I going to have to drag it out of you?”

Michael groaned, running his fingers through his hair and tugging on it in frustration. “The rage took over. I fucked up, and I told Gavin that I wanted to take a fucking break. A break! A fucking break! Like, what the fuck is wrong with me? That’s the last thing I wanted to do. I don’t know what the hell came over me.”

He groaned again, falling back onto the couch and making a frustrated sound. Dan just looked at him, and Michael finally stared back. “What the fuck do you want? Are you going to make a fucking comment or some shit? Or are you just going to leave me to wallow in my self pity?”

“I know what happened.”

“Excuse me?” Michael was on his feet in seconds, and moments later, he was standing right in front of Dan. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“I may have altered your drug slightly.”

“What? Why?” His hands were balled into fists, and it was taking everything inside of him to not punch the man in that precise moment. “What did you add?”

“I didn’t add anything.”

“Then what did you do?”

“I took something away.”

Michael raised an eyebrow, chewing on his lower lip in confusion. The only drug he was taking was rage. Unless… His mind flicked back to when it had been implied that he was on affection. But Gavin wouldn’t do that to him. Would he? “I - I don’t know what you’re saying,” he managed to stutter out, swallowing hard. “Please explain.”

“Gavin’s been giving you a blend. Not a pure drug. He really only wanted to try it one time, but you know how those drugs are. You have to keep taking them, even after the fact.”

“What has he been giving me?” Michael’s voice was hesitant. He wasn’t even sure if he wanted to know. But now that he was in this situation, he couldn’t stop himself from asking.

“Affection.”

Multiple emotions rushed over him at once, but the most prominent of them all was rage. “Why the fuck would he do that?” he exclaimed, his voice rising. “And why the hell wouldn’t he fucking tell me?”

“It’s hard to say really. Gavin’s brain is a strange thing. Most likely, he just felt alone. He felt emotion for you, because he was feeling naturally, but you couldn’t return the feeling. I don’t think it was his intention to hurt you, he just wanted to see if you felt the same way. In actuality.”

Michael wanted to listen to Dan’s words, but it was hard to do so when the rage inside of him was making him feel as if he might explode.

———————————

Gavin had gotten his beer as quickly as possible, and retreated to the same place he had sat with Michael when they had come here. It felt as if he was trying to reenact something from times past, but he was far too caught up in his emotions to be able to think straight. If it was weird, Gavin didn’t know it.

He began to drink, something that he hadn’t done the last time. He felt more and more buzzed as time went by, and eventually he was completely and entirely drunk. However, his brain was still swirling with thoughts of Michael, and no matter how much he drank, he couldn’t seem to get him out of his mind.

Then there was someone sitting in the chair in front of him, and Gavin looked up with half lidded eyes to see the same man that had harassed him before. In his state, he hadn’t noticed how strange it was, but just looked down at the table, his head still trying to work through his problems. Any solutions he came up with weren’t helpful in the slightest.

“Hey hon,” a voice finally broke the silence, but Gavin ignored it. “I know you’re here alone,” the man continued. “I was looking for Mr. Overprotective Boyfriend, but he doesn’t seem to be around. You two have a bit of trouble? You’re drinking like you want to forget something.”

Gavin made a sound of confirmation in the back of his throat, though he didn’t necessarily think of who he was talking to.

“I could help you forget,” the man said, catching Gavin’s hand in his own and stroking his thumb gently over the skin on the back of his hand. Gavin squinted his eyes at the hand holding his own, then pulled away. He looked to be considering it for a moment - he had lived with one night stands in the past. Why did things have to be different now.

One night with another person wouldn’t kill him, and it would be Michael’s fault, after all. He was the one that had sent him away. However, the thought only went through his mind for a few moments before he dismissed it. 

Even though the temptation was real, he couldn’t keep his mind off of Michael. He knew that he would end up moaning out his name at some point, especially considering that he was in a very compromised state. The determining factor however, was just how the touch felt. When Michael touched him, it felt like the world was on fire. But when this man had grabbed his hand, Michael had felt nothing.

After knowing what it was like to be completely and entirely obsessed with someone, he didn’t know if he could go back to a life without it. He would rather never have sex again than have it be completely worthless. Hopefully Michael would change his mind. Would take him back. But until then, he wasn’t going to try to cope.

“Well?” the man prompted, and Gavin shook his head.

“No thanks.”

“Really?” The man sounded irritated. “Even when you’re fighting with your boyfriend?”

“Especially when I’m fighting with him,” Gavin replied firmly. “That wouldn’t exactly help my case, would it? Cheating on him?”  
“He wouldn’t have to find out.”

“I said no. Bye.”

The man threw his hands up in a frustrated gesture and stormed away, muttering something under his breath that Gavin couldn’t quite decode. He was glad that there hadn’t been a lot of struggle getting him to leave, but the fact that he was alone again caused him a lot more pain than he cared to admit.

——————————-

“What do you mean you lost track of Gavin?” Amanda was screaming, her face red. Joel and Burnie shrank back. Not only were they scared of her, but they were also scared of her power. She could choose how they died; if she didn’t kill them herself, she could order them to be killed. 

“I’m so sorry, Ma’am,” Burnie muttered. “But it wasn’t our fault.”

“Michael still has the chip, correct? So why the hell have you lost track of Gavin?”

Joel was the one that spoke up, very hesitantly. “Because they had a fight, Ma’am.”

“A fight?”

“Yes. Michael told Gavin to fuck off, in very simplified terms. Said he needed time to think about their relationship or some shit.”

Amanda let out a frustrated groan, burying her face in her hands. “Someone has to tell Mr. Haywood about this,” she mumbled from behind her hands. “But I don’t want to do it. One of you two is going to have to.”

The men started babbling nonsense until Amanda was forced to shout. “Stop! Both of you! Jesus, don’t you ever shut up?”

“Sorry, Ma’am,” Burnie replied. “But by telling us to do that, you’re basically sentencing us to our deaths.”

“Well, do you have a better plan?” Amanda asked. It was obvious that she was completely exasperated, and didn’t really want to deal with the situation at all. Her skin was pale, and if her men had to guess what she looked like when she was scared, that would be it.

There was a silence, before Joel finally spoke up. “If I may.”

“You have an idea?”

“Of sorts.”

“Go ahead. I’d love to hear this.”

“We could always take advantage of the state they’re in.”

“What are you saying?”

“Michael and Gavin are both most likely very emotionally compromised. But there’s more to it than that. We heard Michael talking to that Dan character. Gavin’s friend.”

Amanda made a rolling motion with her hands. “Yes, and?”

“And,” Joel said, emphasizing the word. “Dan told him that Gavin had been giving him a blend. He apparently didn’t know. He seemed majorly pissed. So if he’s angry, maybe we can work with that. Get him to tell us where Gavin is.”

The woman had went quiet, and she was staring at the ground intently. Joel and Burnie held their breath. Then Amanda nodded. “It’s a good plan,” she said slowly. “If it works, we can simply take Gavin in, implant a chip in him, then be done with it. We don’t have to tell Mr. Haywood what happened, and we’ll all get off scott free. Good job, Joel.”

Burnie clapped Joel on the shoulder, and he jumped nervously. “Yeah, sure,” he muttered. “I just really didn’t want to die. That kind of shit causes you to think.”


	25. Chapter 25

The next morning, when Gavin awoke, everything hit him like a rock. What had happened the previous night, and how it was partially his fault. The idea literally pained him, and he found himself in one of the booths of the bar, half awake people surrounding him.

One of the workers walked up to him, a forced looking smile on her face. He could tell that she was tired, and felt sorry for her. “What happened?” he asked, rubbing his head. It was pounding with a hangover, and he knew that he was going to have a rough time.

“You drank a lot last night. More than I’ve ever seen anyone drink. Nobody else had seen anything like it before either. Then you passed out. We tried to wake you up, but you sleep like a rock. Either that, or you were just unconscious.” The woman handed him couple pain relievers and a glass of water. Gavin took them appreciatively.

“Thank you.”

“Of course. We talked to the manager about what we should do, but he insisted that we let you stay. Said something about you having a rough night.” She took a step forwards, placing a hand on his shoulder. “You want to talk about it?”

Gavin choked down the pills, struggling the whole way. His gag reflex was horrible, there was no denying that. At her question, he simply shook his head. “I don’t see that there’s a whole lot to talk about. Had a fight with my boyfriend.”

The woman pulled her hand back. “Boyfriend?”

“Yeah. Michael. You might know him.”

“Jones?”

“Yep.

“Yeah, I’m familiar.” Her once friendly composure was now gone, and was replaced with a rather icy response. Gavin nodded, but raised an eyebrow, trying to determine just why she had turned so cold. Then he thought better of trying to figure it out and shrugged it off.

“So I guess I’d better be going then,” he murmured, getting to his feet. “Try to sort things out with Michael, if at all possible.”

“Right. I hope everything works out for you,” she muttered, turning away.

He sighed, trying to ignore how much it hurt to be ignored. He realized that he had royally fucked up, and Michael was probably still an angry mess by this point. He was going to have to go back to him, and beg him to take him back.

A few minutes later, Gavin was at his house; the man on the way out had wished him luck, which had made him feel a little better. However, in all honesty, Gavin wouldn’t be surprised if he never wanted to talk to him again. Entering the building, he looked around quickly, trying to see if his boyfriend was able to be seen.

“Michael?” he called, hoping that he would respond.

“In here, Gavin,” he heard an annoyed voice ring out. It was coming from the direction of the lounge. Quite honestly, Gavin should have been able to guess that, seeing as Michael always acted at home when he was in there.

Gavin made it to the lounge in a matter of seconds, then paused when he saw Michael. The other man was sitting on the couch, staring coldly at him. Gavin had never seen the other look so annoyed. He gestured to the space beside him on the couch, but it was obvious that it was taking everything inside of him not to yell.

He followed his instructions, sitting gingerly down on the couch beside Michael, eyeing him nervously. “Is everything alright, Michael?” he asked, against his better judgment. He knew that it would probably have been a better idea to let the man talk on his own time, but the suspense was killing him. 

“No, of course everything’s not fucking alright,” Michael snapped, his eyes bright with anger. “Why the hell wouldn’t you tell me that you were giving me affection? I would have been okay with it, honestly. You’re definitely hot - I figured that out long before I was on anything. It wouldn’t have angered me at all to take some with my rage. But the fact that you were hiding it from me. That’s what really pisses me off.”

Gavin swallowed heavily, refusing to make eye contact and simply staring at the ground, or whatever else happened to be there. “I don’t know what to say,” he said quietly.

“Give me some kind of explanation! Something that gives you a reason for doing what you did. I want to take you back, Gavin. Trust me, I do. But I don’t know if I can, knowing that you’ve been lying to me this whole time. Is there anything else you’ve been lying to me about?”

“Maybe just about how much I really do like you. Which is way more than I’ve ever said.”

————————————

Michael bit his lip, trying to sort through his thoughts. On the one hand, he wanted to listen to him. To take him back and forget that any of this ever happened. However, on the other hand, he knew that he couldn’t. He would never be able to respect himself again.

“Seriously, Gavin. Can you explain?”

For the first time, the other man made eye contact with him, and it absolutely broke his heart in two, just seeing the sadness in his expression. It made him want to fling himself forwards, just to make him feel better. And maybe he would. Maybe he would try to forgive him. 

Then Gavin’s hand was cupping his cheek, his thumb caressing it softly. “I’ll tell you why I did it,” he whispered, leaning into him, and Michael felt a shock go through his body. “But you have to promise not to leave me.”

His brain was going a million different directions at once, and Michael tried his best to figure out what exactly was going on. Despite the fact that he was angry with the other, he couldn’t bring himself to push Gavin’s hand away from his face.

“You know I can’t do that,” he finally managed to choke out, tears starting to fill his eyes again. Quickly, he wiped at them, trying desperately get rid of them. Even though Gavin had always been the reason for his crying, he never wanted the other to see him in his compromised state. He had always been the one protecting Gavin, and this was a complete change of pace.

Gavin leaned forwards, kissing his face gently, trying to get rid of the tears. It’s obvious that Gavin doesn’t like it when you cry either, he told himself. Stop being such a baby. At that point, he was able to calm himself enough to have a logical conversation.

“So?”

The other seemed to be considering something, swallowing heavily before he continued. “I was lonely.”

“What?”

“That’s why I did it. I felt so alone in this world. I was always able to feel emotion, naturally, like it had never been taken from me in the first place. Then you came along, and you were so hot, and so sure of yourself. I just wanted you for myself. I wanted you to be able to feel what I felt, but I knew that you couldn’t. I didn’t even think about asking you, because it was just too easy to do it myself. I know it was wrong, and I hope you could forgive me.”

By the end of his speech, Gavin was basically in tears himself, and, despite his better judgement, Michael wrapped his arms around the other’s body. He knew that he shouldn’t be doing this. He knew that he would probably break up with him before too long. But for the moment, he just wanted to feel the other.

“I’m sorry, Gavin,” he muttered, his voice catching at the seriousness of the situation. “I don’t know what it feels like, I suppose. To be so alone. It must be hard.”

“More so than you even know,” Gavin whispered, burying his face into Michael’s shoulder. He had been the one to calm down Michael, but now it looked as if the reverse was also going to be true. “It’s like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders. I’m in pain every second of every day, though I’ve learned to ignore it.” His voice broke when he spoke the next words. “You were the only one that ever made it better, Michael. As long as I was with you, I didn’t feel that stress.”

Michael hesitated. He had been thinking of ways to break his relationship with Gavin off, but now all he wanted to do was kiss him, over every inch of his body and tell him that he loved him. He wanted to fuck him senseless, and let him know that he wasn’t completely alone. 

Quite honestly, it was probably the most difficult decision of his life. He would probably regret it later, and there was no telling if he would break things off later or not, but for the moment, he just wanted Gavin to know that he did love him, even after all they’d been through. “Fuck this affection,” he muttered, turning to look the other man directly in the eye.

“What’s up?” Gavin replied, his eyes scanning over Michael’s own face.

He shrugged. “I was just thinking.”

“About how much you totally hate me?”

Michael shook his head violently, and before he could stop himself, he had slipped his arms around the other man’s waist, moving to his own knees just so he could pull him closer. “No,” he murmured quietly against his lips, teasing the other man into begging. Gavin whimpered at the feeling of the hot breath against his mouth, but when he tried to close the distance between their lips, Michael pulled back.

“I don’t hate you, Gavin. I was just thinking about how I could never hate you. Not ever. I love you. More than I’ve ever loved anything or anyone before. I don’t think I even knew what love was before I met you. So that drug you gave me - maybe it was for the better.”

Again, Gavin tried to catch his lips in his own, but Michael avoided him skillfully, pecking the side of his mouth. “Ah, ah.”

“Please Michael,” Gavin groaned. “Just kiss me. You’re killing me inside.”

“So basically what you’ve been doing to me.”

Gavin looked so sad that Michael almost apologized for what he had said. Almost. But if he was going to do this. If he was going to have sex with Gavin again, or even if they were just going to make out, this was important. He had to be in complete control.

“I’m sorry Michael,” the other man whimpered, wrapping his arms around Michael’s neck and trying to pull him down on top of him. However, Michael stood firm, raising an eyebrow. “Say please.”  
“I did,” he replied. “But please. Please, please, please. Kiss me.”

Michael raised an eyebrow, pressing his body up against the other man and nuzzling his nose against the other’s cheek. “Why didn’t you just ask?” he muttered before connecting their lips, pushing Gavin hard by the shoulders and onto his back a moment later.

——————————

“Oh god, they’re back together already?” Joel groaned, his head hitting the table in frustration. “Can’t they ever take a break? They just had a fight, for fuck’s sake.”

“They’re infatuated with each other,” Burnie replied. “It’s completely obvious. But there’s more to it than that.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re so oblivious, Joel,” Burnie muttered. “Have you ever had sex before in your life?”

“Of course.”

“Michael is beyond pissed right now. Angry rough sex? That’s excellent for all parties.”

By this time, the noises that the two men were making was far too much, and Joel hit a button to mute it. “Even if that is true, it’s surprising to me just how often we have to mute this fucking thing.”

“Yeah, well. They don’t know they’re hooked up to it.”

“So do you think we’re going to have to tempt Michael?”

“Not sure. They might still break up after this. Michael seemed very iffy about the whole thing. Not like he was forced into it, but more like he didn’t know what he was doing. Or why he was doing it. I don’t think this is healthy for their relationship at any rate. We may still have to figure it out. But, for the moment, we know where Gavin is, and that’s what matters.”


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rough angry sex in this chapter. I believe this is the second to last smut chapter.

Something had snapped inside of Michael. He didn’t want to admit it, not even to himself. But it had happened, just the same. His self control was gone, and all he wanted to do was to kiss Gavin until they were both gasping for breath. At the same time, he wanted to make him beg. He had caused him so much pain, he didn’t owe Gavin anything.

As soon as this thought had passed through his head, he pulled back, leaving the other man a whimpering mess beneath him. His eyes were wide and pleading, his lips swollen and wet. Michael felt a thrill go through his entire body as he looked at the other, and he never wanted this moment to end.

Gavin’s hands were on the back of his neck a moment later, trying desperately to pull him back down. However, Michael still refused. “What do you want me to do, Gavin?”

A blush immediately began to creep across the man’s cheeks, and Gavin quickly covered his face with his hands. “Do we have to do this, Michael?” he muttered from behind his hands. “I’m not one for begging, I never have been.”

Michael pressed his lips against Gavin’s neck, before adjusting to whisper in the other’s ear. “You won’t care about begging by the time I’m done with you.”

The man underneath him shivered and stifled a moan, and Michael stiffened at the sound. It was just as hard on him as it was the other, his being this dominant. But when he had realized that he had been manipulated the entire relationship, and that none of it was real - he needed some control. This was the only way he could think to get it.

“Don’t you think it would be better to do this in your bedroom, Gav?” he murmured, pulling a bit more away from him. “That way Dan would be less likely to walk in, and we’d be more prepared.”

Gavin bit his lip and nodded, pushing Michael off of him and getting to his feet. His hand made its way to his jeans, but Michael grabbed his wrist, pulling his hand away. He stood behind him, pressing up against him and kissing the back of his neck gently. “None of that, now.”

——————————

All Gavin wanted to do was let out a frustrated groan, but he managed to hold it back. Already, he felt more willing to beg than he ever had before in his life. This was the dominant Michael that he had immediately fallen for. Of course, he loved the passionate, loving Michael that he received. But the rage induced Michael that just screamed anger was what he had originally thought was hot.

Now he was back, and Gavin didn’t know how to feel about it. 

Despite the fact that he thought he was going to be the one leading Michael to his bedroom, it seemed to be quite the opposite, and the other seemed quite familiar with his house. They passed by a confused Dan in the hallway, who raised an eyebrow at him.

“Hey B. You’re back, I see.”

“No time to talk, Dan,” Michael muttered, pushing past him. Gavin glanced over his shoulder just to see Dan standing in the hallway with his eyebrows raised suggestively. He could only roll his eyes as a response.

Michael threw him into the room, slamming the door hard behind them. The sound caused Gavin to jump, but before he could say anything, he had followed, and Michael was pressed up against him. He tried bucking his hips forwards to get some sort of friction, but Michael shook his head, pinning his hips to the door.

“That’s not for tonight,” he muttered, once again breathing heavily on his lips. Gavin squirmed desperately, trying to push their lips together, but Michael continued to pull back, avoiding every attempt. He kissed Gavin’s nose gently, before shooting him a knowing smirk.

Gavin bit his lip, and swallowed at the look of lust that washed over Michael’s face as he stared at them. “Michael,” he said softly, his head falling back slightly and his eyes closing.

“Gavin.”

He let out a frustrated groan, and a chuckle escaped Michael’s lips. “Having a little trouble there?”

“Kiss me,” Gavin demanded pointedly, leaning his head that much closer.

“Ask me. Beg me.”

“I can’t!”

Michael ghosted his lips over the other man’s, looking up at his eyes through his lashes. His tongue darted out of his mouth, barely tracing the outline of Gavin’s lips. A moan escaped him before he could stop it, and he felt like he was going to explode. “Michael! Please kiss me! God, I need you so fucking bad. Please, please, ple-”

His begging was cut off by Michael finally closing the gap between them, still holding his hips firmly to the wall. The kiss was light and teasing, but Gavin could still feel himself growing hard. He grabbed the back of Michael’s head, trying once more to pull him that much closer. However, just as had always happened, it didn’t work. Michael was much too strong, much too defiant. 

Their lips parted, and Gavin was begging again in a moment. “Michael, please don’t stop. I can’t stand it. You’ve hardly given me anything, and I already feel like I might come any minute.”

—————————-

Michael swallowed, and he felt his breathing increase slightly at the other’s words. He had never been with someone that was so easily turned on, and the fact that he could simply tease him and he’d be like putty in his hands sent a chill down his spine.

“Maybe I’ll have to make you come twice,” he muttered. “Or three times. Or more.” Michael moved his hands from where they were currently pinning Gavin’s hips to the wall and moved them to his wrists, slamming them against the wall and holding them there.

At Michael’s words, Gavin began to squirm, his eyes closing tightly. “I can’t do that, Michael. I’ll black out.”

The other tilted his head, still holding Gavin’s wrists to the wall. Then he kissed him a bit deeper than he had before, the pressure increasing as he began to move his lips against Gavin’s. His tongue was pushing forwards a moment later, not really asking for entrance as much as demanding it. 

If Gavin once voiced that he wasn’t enjoying this, he would stop. Despite his desire for control, he still loved Gavin. He didn’t want to hurt him, in any sense of the word. However, judging by the way Gavin immediately opened his lips for him, allowing himself to be dominated, Michael didn’t think that he was going to have to worry about it.

Gavin was moaning into his mouth, trying desperately to get some sort of friction on his cock, as Michael hadn’t touched him once since they had begun. But Michael stood far enough back so as to be just out of reach, teasing him. Gavin separated himself from the kiss, much to Michael’s surprise, and a moment later, he was leaning his head on Michael’s shoulder. “Please,” he murmured breathlessly, causing another shiver to go through Michael’s own body. “I need you to touch me. Please.”

Michael moved them fluidly to the bed, pushing Gavin down onto his back and pressing his lips harshly against the other’s. He nipped at them lightly, catching his bottom lip between his teeth and beginning to suck. A shudder went through Gavin, which caused Michael to just further abuse the man’s lips. Then his hands were up his shirt, tweaking one of his nipples and causing a moan to escape Gavin.

——————————

It was unlike anything Gavin had ever experienced before. Michael hadn’t so much had touched him, but he was already feeling as if he might come any moment. He wasn’t sure if Michael had been serious about making him come more than once, but if he was being completely honest, he wasn’t completely opposed to it.

If Michael wasn’t serious, and they were still a thing after all of this was said and done, he would definitely have to consider mentioning something to him. 

But at the moment, he was too caught up in pleasure to think clearly, much less say anything logical. Both of Michael’s hands were underneath his shirt now, and he was running his nails harshly over the skin of his chest. Before he knew what was happening, his shirt was off, and Michael’s mouth was on the skin, biting and sucking harshly.

It hurt so good, and he didn’t know how to respond. So he only let his head drop back, moans escaping his lips before he could stop them. Not that he would have wanted to anyways. They seemed to urge Michael on. If that was the case, he never wanted to be quiet again.

A moment later, Michael’s hands were at his waist, caressing the skin there as he sucked and bit at every inch of his chest. Gavin squirmed underneath him, just wanting any kind of friction he could get. He managed to grind against Michael a single time before he was sitting up, staring at him.

His hands clenched at the bed, simply staring back. He didn’t know quite what Michael was expecting from him, but he wasn’t ready for when he bent down once more, catching his lips in his own. He ground his hips down several times, causing Gavin to choke out something that sounded vaguely like Michael’s name.

Then Michael’s hands were at the button to his jeans and he was tugging at him. Then the button was flying across the room once more. Gavin groaned loudly, his hands reaching up to tug roughly on Michael’s hair. “I really liked these jeans,” he exclaimed. “This is the second pair that you’ve ruined.”

“Do you want me to stop?” He asked, sitting straight up, and looking at him, his pupils blown wide. Gavin groaned and shook his head. “What do you think, you asshole? Of bloody course not. Just get on with it.”

“Ask nicely.”

“Michael. Please get on with it. Oh my god!”

——————————-

Michael quickly complied with the other’s request, and Gavin’s pants were off in a matter of moments. He still sat up, looking down at the other. Michael was still wearing all of his clothes, and as tempted as he was to start stripping down right then and there, something held him back. There was a strange air of power that came from being fully dressed when your partner is almost naked. And Michael liked it.

He stroked Gavin slowly over his boxers, and Gavin immediately started thrusting into his hand, whimpers of pleasure racking his body. Then Michael retracted his hand, and Gavin just whined louder. His boxers were disposed of next, despite the fact that Michael still hadn’t removed any of his clothing.

“Michael,” came Gavin’s voice, small and timid. “At least take your shirt off. Please. You’re so fucking hot.”

“I’m not hot with my shirt on?” Michael asked teasingly, winking playfully. Gavin groaned.

“Of course you are. Just fucking - please Michael. Please.”

“Well. Because you asked so nicely,” he replied, quickly ridding himself of his shirt. His pants followed soon afterwards, though Gavin hadn’t requested anything of the kind. As much as he was trying to hide it, he was starting to get desperate as well. However, he couldn’t let Gavin see that. He would surely use it to his advantage. 

When Michael looked back down at Gavin, he saw that he had begun to jerk himself off, his eyes dropping closed in pleasure. Frustrated, he slapped his hand away, and Gavin looked extremely flustered.

“God Michael. Do something, please. Fast. I’m not quite sure how much more of this I can take.”

Michael took Gavin’s length in his hand, stroking it a single time, causing Gavin to squeeze his eyes shut. He leant down to kiss the tip, then pulled away completely.

“Oh my god. Again? I’m gonna leave here in a minute if you keep this up.”

“No, you’re not,” Michael muttered, kissing him hard on the lips. “You want me too bad.”

“Maybe that’s true,” Gavin said, crossing his arms with a grumpy expression on his face. “But please do something.”

“What do you want me to do?” Michael whispered quietly in his ear. “Tell me what you want me to do to you. Do you want me to suck you off? Grind against you until you come?”

“Take me. Right now. Don’t stretch me. Just let me lube you up. Then fucking take me. Make me scream so loud I can’t even function.” Michael immediately tensed, the words getting to him more than he wanted to admit. Just as Gavin got off to his speaking, the same was true for him, and he felt himself growing harder by the second.

He pulled his jeans off as quickly as humanly possible, and grabbed a container of lube from where he had found it when he had been staying there. He wasn’t going to lie - the idea of Gavin fingering himself turned him on immensely. He was going to have to talk to him about letting him watch sometime. That is, if they were even together after this.

Gavin smothered the lube over his dick, and he had to force himself to breathe as the sensation took over. Then he was pushing Gavin’s hands aways and lining himself up.

“You ready? I’m going to take you fucking hard. Can you handle it?”

The other man’s only response was to wind his hands in Michael’s hair, tugging violently, and encouraging him to continue. With that, Michael was completely inside of him, both Gavin and Michael almost screaming at the feeling. 

Michael tried to keep his own moans to a minimum as he continued to increase the speed of his thrusts, as he felt that would ruin the moment. He was supposed to be in control here, not the other way around. And so, as if to further emphasize that point, he wrapped his fingers around Gavin’s length, starting to pump him in time with his violent thrusts.

“Michael - I - I’m so close,” he practically yelled, and Michael could tell that he was struggling to control himself. At this point, he didn’t think that there was even a chance that Dan didn’t know what they were doing. Hell, the neighbors probably knew.

“Not yet,” he replied, beginning to increase the speed of his hips as he pushed in and out of Gavin.

“Michael-”

“I’m almost there. Let me come first.”

Gavin squeezed his eyes shut tightly, and Michael felt him clenching around him. The familiar warmth was building in the pit of his stomach, and he finally gave in to his release, spilling deep inside of Gavin. 

As soon as he had begun his release, he had continued to thrust, pumping Gavin that much harder. “Come for me, Gavin.”

A strangled groan escaped the other man’s lips as he released, and Michael continued to fuck both of them through their orgasms. Michael pulled out, and Gavin lay with his eyes closed, breathing heavily.

“You okay there, Gav?”

Several moments passed before the other man was able to respond. Even when he did, his words were forced from his labored breathing. “I’m more than okay. That was bloody amazing.”


	27. Chapter 27

Miles was heartbroken. There were no other words for it. He had done everything that they had said. He had pretended as nothing was wrong, and even let the criminals get away red-handed. Enough evidence had been in his possession to put them away for good, but he had burned it all.

Yet when he had returned back home, the only thing that had greeted him was the dead bodies of his family. It was impossible for him to even look in the general direction of the corpses without thinking that it was completely and entirely his fault. And, indeed, it probably was. 

The first thing you learned about people with evil inside of them was that you should never listen to their threats, nor their bargains. They are always lies, as is to be expected. They will always do the evil thing, and you must do what is right. However, now Miles had nothing more to lose. Everyone he cared about was gone, and all that was left was himself. And so he made a decision.

He would bring the people who killed them to justice, if it was the last thing he did. And he would start by finding Michael and Gavin. They might not know just what to do, but it was as good a start as any. 

————————————

The next few weeks passed by quickly, and Michael and Gavin were yet to break up. However, there was no doubt that their relationship had been under constant stress. Michael had snapped at Gavin a lot more than he would have in the past, and even though he felt bad about it, he couldn’t help it. Even though they both had their difficulties, separately and as a couple, they had managed to stay together.

There were times when Michael was ready to give up. On them as a couple. And, at times, even at life. Whenever life would get him down though, he would just do another injection, and he would be back to normal.

One day, the two were sitting in the lounge, Michael with his arm around Gavin’s shoulders as they sat in silence. They had been doing that a lot lately - not quite cuddling, but not quite just hanging out as friends. “Gavin?”

“Hmm?” the other man murmured, scooting a bit closer to him. Even though Michael had completely changed, growing slowly less and less attached, Gavin had only grown more needy. He wanted to be around Michael every moment of every day, and though Michael wanted to be able to feel that way again, he couldn’t. There were more serious things on his mind.

“Do you know why my affection might not be working quite as well as it used to?”

Gavin sat up, and the expression on his face was that of sadness. Whenever Gavin looked at him like that, it was hard for Michael to control himself, and all he wanted to do was comfort him. However, it wasn’t the time for that. He had asked a question, and he was expecting an answer.

“There’s a lot more to emotion than people think,” he said slowly, looking at Michael out of the corner of his eye, yet somehow still avoiding direct eye contact. “And before you say that I was hiding something else from you, this seriously was for your own good. But if you really want me to tell you, I will.”

For a moment, Michael hesitated. He didn’t know if he would be able to stand another big revelation, but he nodded just the same. “I want you to tell me. I’m confused. I want to be able to love you like I used to.”

“You don’t love me anymore?”

Immediately, Michael pushed himself forwards, pressing his lips against Gavin’s, trying to express to him everything that he he was feeling. “Of course I love you, Gav. I don’t know why you would even ask that. It’s just not the same is all. I liked it the way it was before. When I wasn’t frustrated so easily, and all I could think about was you.”

Gavin smiled softly and nodded. “Honestly, Michael, that’s what a relationship is like, after the infatuation is over. You still love each other, but there’s much more to it than that.”

Michael felt as if he was going to respond, but before he knew what he was doing, he was snapping. “Are you going to tell me what the fuck you’ve been hiding from me, or what?” Michael cringed at the harshness of his words, but as per usual, the rage had overpowered the affection. Luckily for him, the other didn’t really care.

———————————-

Gavin bit his lip softly as soon as he heard Michael’s words. He had been hoping that he would have forgotten by this point, though he didn’t really think that would happen. “Of course.”

Michael looked at him, seemingly urging him on, and Gavin hesitated. “How do you think drugs work, Michael?”

“You inject a fucking needle of emotion into your arm and it makes you feel. Why are you asking me this?”

“Because that’s not all of it.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“The emotion that you inject into yourself - it doesn’t actually give you the emotion. It just allows you to feel what is already inside of you. So when I gave you affection, the things you were feeling for me were real, and how you would react to that kind of situation if the government had never taken your emotions away.” He looked down at the ground, almost guiltily. 

That had been the reason for his injecting Michael in the first place - not to make him like him, but to see how he really felt. Which, quite possibly, was even more dangerous than the former. Michael was looking at him in confusion, and Gavin allowed himself to glance away. He couldn’t make eye contact with the other man. Not now.

“But that means-”

“Yes.”

“You don’t even know what I was going to fucking say.”

“Continue then. I’m pretty sure I know where that was going, but go ahead.”

“My real personality is an angry asshole?”

Gavin groaned, letting his face rest in his hands. That was where he had thought the conversation was going, but he wasn’t going to rub it in. “I wouldn’t say you’re an asshole. But sure, you’re angry. That’s why the rage is so potent to you. Because you’re always so ready to burst inside that when you take rage, it explodes.”

The room was quiet for some time before Gavin felt Michael’s hand on his face, lifting his eyes to meet his. He was straddling his knees at this point, though none of it felt the slightest bit sexual. It was just a couple spending time together. Nothing more, nothing less. Then Michael pressed their lips together again, slowly and carefully, more of a caring gesture than anything. 

When Gavin looked at him again, there were tears in his eyes. He wiped at them furiously, glaring at the floor. “You’re a piece of shit, Gavin. You know that?”

“Why?”

“Because you’re fucking making me cry. I never cried before I met you. Ever. Not once. But then you come along, and I’m a fucking emotional train wreck.”

“But why are you crying?”

“Because you didn’t deserve for me to be angry in the first place!” Michael yelled, then seemed to think better of his actions. He buried his face into Gavin’s neck, and Gavin shivered at the feeling of his breath against him. “I was fucking angry at you for tricking me into liking you,” he muttered, his voice muffled. “But you didn’t make me do anything. That was me.”

——————————-

“It’s okay, Michael. Really, it is.”

Michael didn’t feel like it was okay. He wished that Gavin would have just told him long ago, when it didn’t have such an affect on everything.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Gavin went quiet, and Michael wondered if he had said the same thing. He did want to know, but there was always the possibility that he had pushed it too far, and after what he had just learned about his boyfriend, he didn’t want to hurt him any more.

“Because I knew how it would make you feel,” Gavin muttered quietly, still refusing to make eye contact. “That you already hated your rage so much, and knowing that it was actually you would make everything that much worse.”

For the second time that night, Michael took Gavin’s face in his hands, prompting him to look at him. “You’re sure it wasn’t because you were scared of me?” He asked quietly, his voice quavering at the thought. He never used to be harsh with Gavin, but as of late, he had found himself yelling at him quite a bit more. He hoped that Gavin’s choices didn’t have to do with that.

Gavin shook his head violently, and Michael sighed a breath of relief.

“Of course not, Michael. That’s a silly question. I’m not scared of you. Sometimes I can get kind of frustrated, but it’s nothing more than that.”

“Thank god.”

————————————-

“These motherfucking kids,” Burnie muttered angrily, crossing his arms. 

“See? You agree with me!” Joel exclaimed. “I told you!”

Burnie simply rolled his eyes. “Whatever man. That’s not the point. The point is that Ryan told us to wait until these two assholes broke up to attack. If Michael gives him up willingly, then he won’t be coming after us. Much easier in the long run.”

“But you’re getting tired of waiting too, aren’t you?”

“Of fucking course I am! It’s been three weeks, and now they’re fucking making up. What the fuck is this shit? If anything, I thought it would be all downhill from there. But nope. Everything’s all fine and dandy.”

Joel chuckled slightly at Burnie’s choice of words, but before either of them could say anything more, Amanda was entering the room. “Any news?”

“They’re back together,” Joel said.

“As far as I knew, they never broke up.”

“Exactly. They were just in major fight mode. But they made up. They both seem fucking happy as can be, and it’s really pissing me off. I don’t even know how to explain it.”

Amanda groaned loudly, voicing just what everyone else had been wanting to do. “So what are we supposed to do now?”

Burnie threw up his hands in frustration. “How about you tell us, oh great leader? You’re the one that’s supposed to be fucking in charge.”

“And I work for Mr. Haywood!”

“Ryan, you mean.”

“No, I’m pretty sure I mean Mr. Haywood.”

“What’s the story with you two, anyways?” Joel spoke up, raising an eyebrow. “If you don’t mind my asking, I mean.”

“You seem to have grown much more accustomed to talking in front of people. Especially in sassing me.”

“I wasn’t sassing anyone.”

Amanda put up a hand, and Joel immediately shut up. “The story is that Mr. Haywood is my employer, and I am his employee. That’s it, plain and simple.”

Burnie and Joel exchanged suspicious glances, but quickly shrugged it off as if nothing had ever happened. After all, it was their jobs on the line.

———————————-

There was a knock on the front door, and both Michael and Gavin tensed. Dan was in the back room with the drugs, so he hadn’t just locked himself out after going for groceries or something of the kind. What with everything the two of them had experienced over the past month, there was probably reason for them to be scared.

However, Michael decided that it would be for the best to open it. He removed himself from Gavin’s lap, and wiped off his lips, trying hard to ignore his half hard cock and his most likely messy hair. At this point, he didn’t really give a fuck who saw him like this.

If it was the people who had taken them, they knew how touchy the two were. If it was the neighbors, they probably knew too.

“Get ready to run.” Those were the only words he said before flinging the door open and putting his hands up in a defensive pose.

The police officer that had dropped them off before stood there, his hands up in a surrender. “Hey!” he exclaimed. “Calm down. It’s just me. Miles.”

Michael eyed the gun in his hilt nervously, and Miles followed his gaze. He chuckled, taking it out. Michael jumped, putting his hands in front of him. “Gavin!”

“Man, it’s okay,” he said quietly, unloading the gun quickly in front of him, then handing the pieces to Michael. He looked down at the gun in his hands, a look of confusion on his face. 

“You’re not here to kill us?”

“God no. Why would I be here to kill you?”

Michael shrugged, gesturing inside. “If that’s the case, then come on in. But fucking watch yourself. There are rules.”

“Rules?”

“You try to hurt Gavin, you’re dead. You fucking touch Gavin, in any sense of the word, you’re dead. You try to make a fucking move on Gavin, you’re fucking dead times two.”


	28. Chapter 28

Almost as soon as Michael had went to answer the door, Dan had come rushing into the lounge from the back. He looked almost panicked, and Gavin was immediately on his feet. “Dan? What the hell? Is something wrong?”

“You could say that,” he said, and his voice sounded strained. Gavin felt his own body tense at the sound. He didn’t like the idea of the other being stressed, even if it had nothing to do with him. He always assumed it had something to do with the emotion he was taking.

“Then what is it?”

“A couple things. But who’s at the door?”

“Michael went to check.” Gavin could tell that his voice was tight, and it frustrated him to no avail. He had become so attached to Michael over the past month or so, but the other only seemed be growing more distant. It did things to him that he didn’t want to admit - made him angry, while simultaneously wanting to burst into tears. At every moment of every day.

“And?”

“And he hasn’t gotten back, yet. You really are out of it. That should be obvious, seeing as he’s not here.”

Dan looked confused for a moment, and his brow furrowed. Gavin had never seen his friend look so out of it - they had always related to one another on a level that was difficult to explain to anyone else. Now that something was up, he wanted to know what it was.

He began to rock back and forth, his eyes rolling backwards into his head as he collapsed. Gavin rushed forwards, catching him before he hit the floor. At that precise moment, Michael entered, and a look of anger rushed to his face.

“What the fuck is going on here?”

“Michael,” Gavin exclaimed. “It’s not the time to be jealous. This isn’t what it looks like.”

“Of course it’s fucking not. I swear, Gavin, if you don’t let go of him right now-”

“Michael! He’s bloody passed out!”

A look of realization washed over Michael’s face, followed by one of shame. “Sorry about that,” he muttered, taking several long strides to Gavin’s side before picking up the other man with strength that made it look easy. However, his complaining a moment later ruined that illusion. “Holy fuck. What the hell is this guy eating? He’s fucking solid as a rock.”

He laid Dan down on the sofa, and for the first time, Gavin noticed that there was someone else in the room. Miles, the officer from before, was standing awkwardly in the doorway, hands in his pockets.

When he realized that Gavin was looking at him, he raised his eyebrows and forced a smile onto his face. Immediately, Gavin was able to tell that something was wrong. Miles had been so energetic before. So friendly and outgoing. Now he looked depressed. However, he figured that there would be more time to figure that out later, and he turned back to Dan.

Michael was kneeling down beside him, slapping him gently in the face, over and over again. “Michael,” Gavin exclaimed, rushing over to him and pushing him aside. He muttered some kind of a defense, but Gavin wasn’t listening.

“He’s still alive, Gavin. Don’t worry.” Michael was speaking, but it was difficult to hear his words. “What the fuck happened, anyways?”

“I don’t know. He came out of-” Gavin cut himself off, eyeing the police officer suspiciously. He didn’t want to cause even more trouble than they were currently experiencing. Michael seemed to sense his hesitance, and he nodded in his general direction.

“He’s on our side, as far as I know. Handed me his gun and everything.”

“You have a gun?” Gavin’s gaze was on Michael now.

“Yeah. Why?”

Gavin shook his head, trying to force himself to focus. “No reason.” He turned back to Dan. “He came out of the back room. You knew he was back there working.”

“Yeah? And what happened?”

“He just stumbled in here. Then passed out.”

Miles interrupted their conversation. “Excuse me, but I’m kind of lost. What kind of work was he involved in?”

—————————

Michael glared at the officer as a response to his intrusion, but responded anyways. “He and Gavin deal drugs. They specialize in mixing several different emotions together. The back room is where they do all that shit. Now if you’d excuse me, I have to talk to my fucking boyfriend.”

The other man nodded nervously, and his stare went back to the ground where it had been previously. For a moment, Michael almost felt bad for snapping at him, he looked so pitiful. Then he remembered who he was, and he didn’t care anymore.

“So what do you think happened?” He asked instead, looking at Gavin intently. He could see that he was concerned - more so than he had ever seen him before. It was strange. Despite all the situations they had been in together, Gavin had never looked quite this worked up. He decided that it wasn’t worth bringing up. Not now at least. Maybe later, when they were in private.

Gavin shrugged. “I don’t know,” he said softly, and Michael tried to force himself to think of things other than Gavin’s accent. For the most part he had grown accustomed to it, but in situations like this, when his voice was softer than normal, it was much more prominent. He made himself refocus.

“You don’t think there’s a possibility that he overdosed on something?” Michael questioned.

“I don’t think so. He’s too careful.”

Miles cleared his throat from the other side of the room, and Michael stared angrily at him. He wanted to tell him to fuck off, but he did only want to help. “Did you want to fucking say something?”

“Well, I’m not sure quite how emotions work. But is there a possibility that he accidentally took something that he shouldn’t have?”

When Michael turned back to look at Gavin, his hands were running through his hair, and Michael had to look away once more. Even when they were in a serious, life or death situation, Gavin somehow managed to make himself look sexy. And it was really pissing him off. 

“I don’t think so,” he choked out. “But the only way to be able to tell would be through a blood sample. The emotion flows through the blood, and you can tell how concentrated it is, as well as what kind a person took.”

“I’m assuming you have the equipment to do that?”

“Yeah. But it takes a lot of time. I had to design the fucking thing myself.”

“You built a fucking machine that tests your blood?”

Gavin raised an eyebrow and nodded slowly. “Yeah. Why?”

The other swallowed heavily and shook his head. He realized that he was basically repeating what Gavin had just done, but the only words he was able to manage were, “No reason.” His boyfriend got to his feet, dusting off his pants for some reason that was unbeknown to Michael. He followed soon afterwards, watching as Gavin looked down at Dan in concern.

“I hope it’s nothing lethal,” he said quietly, looking down at the ground.

“Hey,” Michael said quietly, taking his face gently in his hand and forcing his eyes to look at his. “He’ll be fine. Okay? If anyone can do something to help him, it would be you.”

“That’s what I’m worried about,” he replied quietly, before pulling away.

————————-

Gavin was aware that Michael was only trying to help. It was obvious by the concern in his eyes, the way he held himself, and the overly gentle behavior. But Gavin wasn’t in the mood to allow himself to be comforted.

There was a life in his hands, and he didn’t like the way that felt.

Whatever happened would be his fault. Sure, he would be proud if he succeeded, and was able to fix Dan. But what if he didn’t succeed? What if he failed miserably, and Dan died a painful death? That would be a death on his hands. He didn’t like that kind of control.

However, despite these doubts, he managed to force himself to his feet, moving swiftly towards the back room. The officer shifted his position in the doorframe as he passed, and Gavin was grateful that he had the decency to leave him alone.

Michael tagged along behind him, and it didn’t bother him quite so much, but his mere presence was slightly off putting. Especially seeing as simply looking at the other just made him want to kiss him. The other didn’t say a word, but when Gavin’s hands fumbled when rummaging through a drawer and he cut himself, he couldn’t help himself from exploding. “God damn it, Michael!”

He immediately looked hurt, and all Gavin wanted to do was apologize. But he knew that he couldn’t. He was far too worked up, and Michael didn’t do well with apologies anyways.

“I didn’t do anything,” he said quietly, looking down at the ground.

“I - I know. But you’re distracting me. In a good way, of course. But I need to focus.”

“You want me to leave.”

Gavin bit his lower lip, chewing on it slightly. He saw Michaels eyes travel to stare at him, but he tried his best to shove those thoughts out of his mind. “I don’t want you to leave,” he said carefully, trying to avoid the tripwire that would set him off. “But I need you to.”

He looked confused for a moment, but then simply nodded, turning on his heel. “Gavin?”

“Hmm?”

“I still love you, you know.” And with that, he was gone. Before Gavin even had a chance to say anything back.

—————————-

Michael did mean the words that he had said to Gavin before he stormed through the door of the house, rage starting to seep through his veins. He did love Gavin. But that love was driving him crazy. 

He ignored the shouts from Miles as he walked past, increasing his speed as he did so. Miles even went so far as to go to the front door of the house, shouting at him from there. “Michael! Where are you going?”

Michael groaned in frustration. “Go pester Gavin for a while, would you Miles? I need to get out for a bit.” As there weren’t any complaints from him, Michael continued to walk. He didn’t know where he was going, and, quite honestly, he didn’t really care. It had been revealed to him long ago that this was a side effect of rage - a pointless urge to walk. Or, possibly, if he was pissed enough, to run. 

After a little while, the anger started to subside a bit, though he still kept up his steady pace. That was when he ran into someone head on, and all the emotion started flooding back. In retrospect, Gavin’s explanation of how emotion worked made a situation like this make a lot more sense. But in the moment, the rage had taken over.

He lay on his back on the ground, blinking several times in surprise at the impact. Then he was on his feet and screaming up a storm. “What the hell, asshole! Watch where the fuck you’re going, will you?”

Then he caught a glance of who he was actually talking to, and froze in his tracks. It was one of the men that had kidnapped him and Gavin. He stiffened, putting his hands up in front of him, ready for an attack. He wished that he knew how to use the gun Miles had given him. Before, he had been taking care of Gavin. But now, he wasn’t going down without a fight.

“Michael,” the man said, a smile on his face.

“Asshole.”

“The name’s Burnie, if you don’t mind.”

“I prefer asshole, if you don’t mind. Actually, I don’t care if you mind. Though maybe sick fuck. That fits you pretty well too.”

The man let out a loud laugh, and Michael almost let his guard down. Then he realized who he was talking to and stiffened once more.

“You okay? You’re looking a bit tense.”

“Well, fuck. I wonder why,” he muttered sarcastically. 

“I’m not here to take you again. I’m not even here to take Gavin. At least not unless you say the word.”

“Excuse me?”

“I’m here to offer you a deal.”

Now it was Michael’s turn to laugh, and laugh he did. Burnie stood patiently, looking at him with an expectant expression on his face. “Fuck. You’re serious?”

“Dead serious.”

“Why the fuck do you think I’d be interested in making any deals with you?”

“Perhaps because we can help you get rid of your problems.”

“What kind of problems are we talking about here?” Michael wasn’t anywhere near being serious about making a deal, but he did want to hear what these people thought he wanted.

“We can get rid of Gavin for you. We’ll take him. We won’t hurt him. But you won’t have to deal with him anymore.”

In an instant, Michael had rushed forwards, punching the man hard in the gut. He clutched at his stomach, blinking several times in confusion. However, when Michael went to throw another punch at his jaw, he recover, grabbing his wrist and holding it back.

“Well that didn’t go quite as expected.”

“Fucking take that back,” Michael growled, his eyes showing just how frustrated he really was.

“Take what back?”

“Your fucking bargain, or whatever the hell you call it. Especially the part where you said that I didn’t want him around. Gavin is my fucking boyfriend, and I fucking love him, no matter what anyone thinks.”


	29. Chapter 29

For a moment, Miles was tempted to run after Michael. Then he remembered who he was dealing with and changed his mind. He made his way back into the house, cautiously making his way to the back of the house. It wasn’t difficult to determine where Gavin was, as he was making quite the noise. 

As he made his way into the back room, Miles felt his jaw drop. The room was unlike anything he had ever seen before, and though he had arrested many people for dealing emotion in the past, he had never seen anything like this before. And he couldn’t help but feel impressed.

Gavin was in the center of the room, scribbling frantically on a piece of paper, chewing on his thumb nervously. He was vaguely reminiscent of a made scientist - the way his hair stood up on end from the multiple times he had ran his hands through it only added to the illusion.

“Are you alright?” Miles managed to work up the courage to ask. He knew that it wasn’t necessarily the best idea to talk to someone when they were deep in thought. He thought he had read somewhere that it was like waking someone who is sleepwalking. However, he decided that the backlash was worth it, if he could only help a friend.

“No, I’m not fucking alright!” Gavin shouted, his hands reaching to grab at his hair once more. Miles thought he might tear it out, judging from how hard he was pulling on it. A moment later, the man crumbled, burying his face in his hands.

Miles rushed over to him, trying his best to comfort him, awkwardly patting him on the back. “You can talk about it if you want.”

“That’s the point. I can’t talk about it. My best friend could be dying, for all I know. And all I want is my boyfriend, but I basically told him to fuck off. I can’t do anything right.”

Compassion washed over Miles’ face as he took a few steps closer, grabbing onto Gavin’s shoulders and forcing him to face him. “Listen to me. It’s going to be okay, alright? Michael said that he trusted you. That he believed in you. If that’s the case, then I do too.”

—————————-

After a good deal of shouting, Michael managed to force himself away from Burnie. He wished that he could have stayed there all day, telling him just how wrong he was. But after some time of his yelling, the man had simply handed Michael a card with his number on it, turned his back and walked away.

Michael didn’t care enough to follow, so he didn’t. The temptation to grind the card into dust was strong, but he decided that it might be useful, tucking into his pocket for later use. He simply turned his back as well, heading back from where he had come. He had been gone long enough, and he was already missing Gavin. 

A few minutes later, he was at the house, as he had broken into a run on the way there. For a moment, he hesitated, before bursting through the door. He quickly made his way to the back room, freezing dead in his tracks at what he saw.

He tried to control himself, seeing as how he had previously embarrassed himself with the Dan situation. But when he saw Miles standing there, hands on his boyfriend’s shoulders, he felt the rage starting to boil in his veins. His hands clenched into fists.

“Miles! What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

The other man jumped away, his eyes wide. “I -”

“No! What did I say when I let you in? You try to make a fucking move on Gavin, and you’re dead. Times two. I definitely will not hesitate to follow through on that promise.”

Gavin bit his lip, raising an eyebrow. “You said that?”

“Of course I fucking did. I don’t know how many times I have to tell you that I love you for you to fucking understand that it’s true. I’d prefer it to only be a few. But if it takes a hundred, I’ll fucking do it.” By this point, Michael was right up in Miles face, and he had shrunk back considerably.

Gavin however, pushed Miles aside, tripping over his own feet in the process. Michael tried his best to not laugh, as he was completely aware of the situation they were in. Then Gavin’s arms were wrapped around him, and he didn’t look like he was planning on letting go any time soon. 

“I wanted you here so badly, Michael,” he whispered. “I’m sorry I told you to leave. I didn’t really want it. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

They needed to work through this, Michael knew. But it couldn’t be done. Not now, with Dan practically dying in the other room. And so he shrugged it off.

“It’s fine, Gavin. But don’t you need to work on fixing Dan?”

—————————-

Gavin immediately pulled away, looking at him with apologetic eyes. He really didn’t want to leave Michael’s arms, which was the very reason he hadn’t wanted him there in the first place. But he wasn’t going to tell him to leave again. That was even worse.

“Of course,” he exclaimed, rushing back to the table where he had been doing his calculations. He grabbed a test machine - one that he had designed for this very purpose.

He pushed past the other two men, making his way to the lounge. Then he knelt down beside Dan, taking his wrist in his hand. First, he felt for a pulse. Thankfully, he still had one, though it was very light.

Gavin swallowed hard, inserting a needle into the vein on Dan’s arm. Then he set it to pump, and sat back to wait. It was about a minute later when the machine finally signaled that it was done, and Gavin was more concerned than ever. 

Taking blood from a perfectly healthy person was one thing. Taking blood from someone that was hardly breathing was another.

“Well? What the fuck are the results?” It was Michael’s voice, and Gavin was only barely able to choke out a response.

“He did take something. Though how the hell he managed it, I haven’t a bloody clue.”

“What?”

“He took everything, Michael!” Gavin exclaimed, jumping to his feet, tears gathering in his eyes. “I don’t know why, or even how. But he did. And not even like me, either. It wasn’t a blend. It was just one injection after another, of every emotion known to man. More likely than not, he’ll be dead within the hour.”

As much as he had tried to appear confident, the moment the words had left his mouth, he collapsed to the ground, allowing the sobs to wrack his body. Michael was beside him in an instant, murmuring comforting words into his ears. After he had calmed down the slightest bit, Michael said something that surprised even him.

“I think I know what happened.”

“What?” Gavin looked to him, surprise washing over his face.

“They fucking knew about this,” Michael exclaimed, his voice still rising. “All of it!”

“Michael!” Miles was talking now. “Who the fuck knew about what? You’re not making any sense, and you’re confusing us both.”

He took several deep breaths, taking the business card Burnie had handed him earlier out of his pocket. He waved it back and forth, as if that would explain everything. When they still didn’t understand, he groaned in frustration.

“The people who fucking kidnapped us, Gav! I ran into one of them when I was out on my walk. He was fucking spewing some shit about how I didn’t love you. But that wasn’t the point. The asshole was trying to offer me a deal.”

“What kind of a deal?”

But Michael didn’t respond. He only took the phone out of his pocket, frantically dialing the number on the card.

——————————-

“Hello?” Amanda answered the phone, and it was obvious that she was in complete control. You could tell by the way she held herself. How she was so cautious to proceed. Though she had only said a single word.

“Yeah. You’re the bitch that kidnapped us, right?”

“I wouldn’t say I’m a bitch, per say. But if you insist upon calling me that, I suppose it could be arranged.”

A groan of frustration came from the other end of the phone and Amanda couldn’t help the smile from spreading across her lips. “What seems to be the problem, Michael.” Of course, she knew what was wrong. But she wasn’t going to admit it yet.

“You fucking know what’s wrong, you piece of shit. I don’t know why it took me this fucking long to figure it out. You drugged Dan. You’re trying to make a deal.”

Amanda shrugged, before realizing that he couldn’t see her. She felt her face flush, though there was no reason to be embarrassed. “I suppose that may be the case.”

“What the fuck do you want?”

“You know what I want.”

“You want me,” Gavin’s voice came from through the line.

“Do you happen to be on speakerphone?”

“Does it matter?” Michael snapped, and Amanda grinned. 

“No, of course not. But yes, I want Gavin. We can make the arrangements to fix Dan. It’s quite the process. Even if you knew how to do it, I doubt that you’d have the equipment.”

Gavin sighed loudly. “I’ll do it.”

“Gavin, no!” She heard the shout of frustration from Michael, and for a moment, she almost felt bad. Despite what many thought, she did have some compassion. However, her desire to impress Mr Haywood was much more important to her.

“Michael. I’m sorry you were ever involved in this. However, if it makes it any better, you may come along. We’ll let the two of you have sex all you want. Dan could even visit. We want your boyfriend to be as comfortable as possible.”

There was a long silence, then Michael responded in a low tone. “Pick us up in five minutes. We’ll be ready.”

Then the line went dead.

—————————

As soon as Michael hung up the phone, Gavin rushed at him, tackling him to the ground. “What the fuck Gavin?” he exclaimed, but Gavin ignored his complaints.

“Why would you do that, Michael?” he asked, tears once more threatening to spill. “I wanted to go alone. Why can’t you just accept that? Sometimes there’s more to life than worrying about yourself.”

“Exactly. But I had to do that. I have a plan.”

“A plan?” Gavin sat straight up on Michael’s hips, staring down at him. Michael struggled to managed a sitting position, then flipped them quickly. He leant down and pecked him on the lips. 

“Last time I checked, you were bottom.”

Gavin felt the heat rushing to his face, but he tried to ignore it. “Michael! The plan!”

“Right,” Michael replied, smiling broadly. He jerked a thumb in Miles’ direction, then shrugged. “There’s not much to it, really. He’s our plan.”


	30. Chapter 30

The look on Gavin’s face convinced Michael that he was going to have to be a lot more specific. However, he didn’t have that kind of time to waste.

When Gavin finally spoke, it was exactly what Michael was expecting. “That’s not helpful, Michael. I can’t just go into this blind!”

Michael shook his head. “You’re going to have to, Gav.”

“What? Why?”

He took a step forwards, forcing a smile onto his face. It was fairly obvious that it was difficult, but he managed it just the same. Gavin eyed him suspiciously. Michael reached a hand up, running it through hair. “Listen to me,” he said softly. “I love you. And I want to do what’s best for you.”

“But I want to do what’s best for you!”

“I know.” On the outside, Michael managed to keep a fairly calm composure, but on the inside, it was like his heart was breaking. It was one of the worst things he had ever experienced in his life. “But you’re more important right now.”

Gavin shook his head frantically, swallowing hard. Michael watched as he tried his best to calm himself, but it wasn’t working.

From the doorway, Miles cleared his throat, and the anger leapt up inside of him. However, he realized that all of the previous times he had been enraged with the man, it had never ended well. He had always been trying to help. So Michael took several deep breaths, and worked up the nerve to speak. “Did you need something, Miles?”

“No, not really. But I was wondering if you two wanted some privacy. For a couple minutes at least. You still have to tell me about this plan of yours, but there’s still time.”

Michael chewed on his bottom lip before nodding. “Yeah, thanks.” Miles only smiled weakly, scurrying quickly out of the room. Then Michael was turning back to Gavin, and the other man’s hands were on the back of his head. Gavin pulled their lips together almost immediately, seemingly desperate for some sort of comfort. 

For a moment, Michael complied, kissing him back with just as much passion. But then he recognized the situation they were in, and pulled away. At some point, he had backed Gavin up against a wall, and when he moved his body away, Gavin whined, grabbing at his shoulders and holding him in place.

Surprisingly, the other man did seem to have a good deal of strength, and managed to keep him pressed up against him. Michael looked up at Gavin, lifting an eyebrow. “I didn’t realize you were so fucking strong.”

Gavin averted his gaze, staring sheepishly to the side. “You never had a reason to know before.”

“So you’ve just been letting me push you around this whole time?” The thought of the danger they were currently in immediately left his mind, and he found it impossible to think of anything else.

——————————-

“I don’t know, Michael,” Gavin exclaimed, still refusing to make eye contact. He tried his best to force the heat that was rising to his cheeks away, but that’s a lot easier said than done. Michael laughed, which only caused Gavin to become more embarrassed. His face grew hotter still when he realized that he had just made out with his boyfriend with his best friend passed out a few feet away.

“What are you laughing at?” he muttered, finally allowing his eyes to look at Michael.

The other was standing where he had been before, and for the first time in his entire time with Michael, he saw him look truly happy. Not pleasured. Not love struck. Just happy. The idea confused Gavin, seeing as Michael had never taken any sort of emotion that would cause him to feel anything of the kind. 

He brushed it off. He must have been mistaken.

“You,” Michael responded, smiling a bit. “You’re just so fucking cute when you blush. It’s fun to get you all worked up. You never know how to respond. It’s adorable as hell.”

Gavin punched Michael lightly on the shoulder. “Michael, stop being horrible.”

“I’m not being horrible. You’re just being cute,” he responded, kissing each of Gavin’s cheeks where the warmth had begun to fade. It just caused more blood to rush to the area, and Michael to bite his lip.

However, despite how much Gavin wanted to stay here with Michael forever, he knew there were more important things to deal with. “Tell me again why you can’t tell me about the plan?”

“They’re going to be fucking interrogating you, Gavin. There’s not a doubt in my mind.”

“But she sounded genuine.”

“That’s the thing. Sometimes people sound genuine, when in reality, they’re the complete opposite. You’re going to be questioning you, and I don’t want you to have any information that you have to hide.”

“Won’t that just be worse for me?”

“Not if I can help it,” Michael muttered, once again beginning to thread his hands through Gavin’s hair. Gavin didn’t know what it was that entranced Michael so much, but he certainly wasn’t complaining.

Then Michael was pulling away again. He moved much too quickly for Gavin to catch him again, and he pouted, looking down at the ground.

“Come on Gav. Don’t be like that. I want to stay with you. Trust me, I do. But I have to talk to Miles. And you have to stay with Dan.”

———————————-

Michael tried to ignore the sadness that swept over Gavin’s face when he left the room - there would be plenty of time to make it up to him later. But he had to take care of this now. There were probably only a few minutes before the others came, and by that point it would be too late.

Miles leapt to his feet from where he sat on the bottom step of the stairs. There was a look of relief on his face, and Michael wasn’t sure what that even applied to. However, there wasn’t time to ask.

“God, Michael. I thought you forgot about me.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Michael said, waving a hand in his direction. “There’s no time for that right now. Do you want to fucking help or what?”

“Of course I want to fucking help. I wouldn’t still be here if I didn’t.”

Michael seemed to be considering this for a moment before he nodded. “Right.”

“So what’s the plan?”

“First, you get out of here. Just so that they don’t know that you’re working with us. Even if you’re just the next house over.”

“Then?”

“Then you follow them.” He sighed deeply, taking the gun out of his pocket. Hesitantly, he handed it back over. He was still slightly concerned about anyone but him having control of it, but he figured that Miles was as good a person to trust as anyone. “You know what to do from there.”

“Do I?”

“Fucking shoot them, you asshole,” Michael practically shouted. “You’re the fucking cop here. Technically, you’re the one that should have come up with a plan in the first place.”

Miles seemed hesitant for a moment, but then he nodded, and, without a word, he left the house. There was the sound of a car starting, and when Michael went to the door, he saw the man parked at the next house over. He chuckled, shaking his head when Miles put up a hand to wave to him. He put his hands into his pockets, walking back into the house and slamming the door behind him.

Not twenty seconds after he had done so, Gavin was practically on top of him, pinning him to the door. Michael looked at him curiously, raising an eyebrow. Ever since he had found out that Gavin wasn’t as weak as he had thought, Michael had been curious. “What’s up Gavin?”

“Promise me something.”

Michael swallowed. “Depends on what it is.”

“You have to swear to me that you’re not going to do anything that might get you killed. I heard you and Miles talking about that gun. You weren’t exactly quiet about it.”

Despite the normal confidence he was able to portray, Michael was forced to avert his eyes. “I can’t do that, Gavin.”

———————————

“Fucking shoot them, you asshole!” 

The words came over the receiver loud and clear. “Can you believe this guy?” Joel muttered, rolling his eyes. “Don’t you just love how he thinks he’s outsmarting us?”

“To be fair, he didn’t know that we put a fucking speaker in his arm,” Burnie responded. He was driving a car, and Joel was in the seat next to him. “What did Amanda say we were supposed to do?”

“Let them try to go along with their little plan. We’re one step ahead of them. Might as well let them have their pathetic hearts broken.”

“Jeez, Joel. What happened to you? You never used to be quite this harsh. Whatever happened to ‘do you ever think we’re going to get out of here’?”

“Those weren’t my words. You asked what Amanda said.”

“Ah.”

A silence overtook the car, and the two drove in silence until they reached the house. They parked the vehicle, but remained in the driveway for a bit longer than necessary.

“We have to go in there, you know that, Joel?”

“Yeah. Of course.”

“Are you going to be okay?”

“Sure. Why the fuck wouldn’t I?”

“I just know how you get. This is your least favorite part of the job.”

Joel shrugged. “I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me. Let’s just get it over with.”

Burnie glanced out the window, spotting a man in a car the driveway over. “You think that’s Miles?” he asked, nodding his head in the direction of the man.

“I suppose we’ll find out soon enough.”

—————————

The minute Gavin heard the car in the driveway, he froze. He knew that there was something strange about the whole situation - simply allowing yourself to be taken away. But there was also a plus side.

According to the woman he had spoken with on the phone, he would be allowed to be with Michael. Which, in reality, was all that he wanted. However, the knowledge that Michael had a plan was starting to get to him. Mostly in wondering what he would do if it didn’t work.

How would he respond if Michael was killed, and he had to live without him? He honestly didn’t think that he could do it. But a moment later, the two men were in the house, and he didn’t have time to think as one of them grabbed his arm, pulling him along with them. 

The entire process of getting to the car was a blur, but he thought that he saw the same happening to Michael. When the two were finally thrown into the back of the car, Gavin’s head was spinning. He couldn’t be sure, but he thought that it might have been hit into a few things on the way there.

“You alright Gav?” Michael asked. He seemed to be pretty shaken up himself, and Gavin was slightly concerned. However, he simply nodded his head. 

“Yeah. Sure. I’m fine.”

“Where’d those two assholes go, anyways?”

“Probably to go get Dan, if I had to guess.”

Michael looked almost ashamed for a moment. “Right. Sorry.”

Before Gavin even had a chance to respond, the men were back again, and they were tossing Dan roughly into the back seat, flung over top of the two men already sitting there. 

“Hey! Watch it,” Gavin exclaimed, and the two men immediately took to imitating his accent, in a rather mocking manner.

“Shut the fuck up,” Michael snapped. “As cliche and stupid as this sounds, I’m the only on that can make fun of Gavin’s accent. And only because it’s fucking sexy as hell.”

“Hey,” Joel snapped. “Watch yourself. You’re fucking lucky we even brought him with us at all.”

Gavin felt his body tense almost immediately, and Michael’s arm was around his waist a moment later, pulling him closer to his body in a comforting gesture.

“What are you talking about?” He asked, his voice weak. They had said they would help Dan. That was the deal. However, the way these two were talking was making Gavin question all of that.

“Joel,” Burnie said, a warning in his tone. “Amanda said not to tell them. She said that she wanted to tell them herself.”

Joel muttered something under his breath, and then the car went silent. Then Gavin was more scared than he had ever been in his entire life.


	31. Chapter 31

The car ride was one of the most stressful things Michael had ever experienced. Not only was tension high, but Gavin was an emotional wreck. You could tell that he was trying to hold it back, but he wasn’t doing well. 

“Hey,” he said, placing his hand on the back of the other’s neck. Gavin raised his eyebrows and turned to look at him.

“What?”

“It’s going to okay. You know that, right?” He glanced quickly to the men in the front seat, who looked as if they were just trying to ignore them.

“I know you say that, Michael,” he replied, swallowing hard. “But it’s difficult to know that’s true when we are in almost the exact same situation as we were before. They don’t care, Michael. They don’t care about us, or our happiness. They’d be fine if you were dead.”

Michael cringed at his choice of words, but he knew it was true. The same thoughts had often went through his own mind. “Like I said, Gavin. You have to trust me. This will all work out.” His tone was even softer than it had been before, almost soothing. This was something that he was completely unaccustomed to, and it was slightly disconcerting. However, he managed to brush that off in order to focus on the other.

“But Michael-”

“No buts,” he cut him off. “I know what I’m doing.”

Gavin didn’t look convinced, but Michael pulled him closer, pressing their lips together. He poured all of his emotion into the kiss, something that he had never experience to quite this extent. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he realized that he hadn’t actually taken emotion in quite some time, but his mind was focused on something else. Or rather, someone else.

—————————-

“No making out in the car,” one of the men snapped - Gavin thought his name was Joel, but he couldn’t be sure.

“We aren’t,” he replied, kissing Michael once more. And, indeed, that was the case. Gavin felt as if he was simply being comforted, and this was the only way Michael knew to express that. He appreciated it, either way.

The man let out an exasperated sigh. “No kissing.”

Gavin pulled back slightly, an annoyed look on his face. He was going to comply, but Michael pulled him back once more, kissing him a bit harder than he had before, and extending a middle finger to the man.

He groaned once more, and the other man chuckled. “Go ahead, guys. As long as clothes stay on, and there’s no hardcore penetrative sex or anything like that, you can make out all you want. Joel is the king of overreacting.

Michael seemed to take this as an invitation, and before long, he was tracing Gavin’s lower lip with his tongue, practically begging for entrance. Gavin eyed the other men nervously. Then he decided that it wasn’t as bad as they were making it out to be, and he opened his mouth slightly, trying to hold back a moan at the feeling of Michael’s tongue against his own. 

Michael, however, didn’t seem to have that kind of restraint. He groaned slightly, and tried his best to push Dan’s legs off of his own. A loud frustrated noise came from the front seat, and Gavin smiled slightly.

After what seemed like only a few seconds, the car was parked, and Joel was out of the car, clamping his hands over his ears. Burnie only laughed, shaking his head. Then he made his way out of the car, opening the door. He picked Dan up with what seemed like ease, and Gavin and Michael followed soon afterwards.

They weren’t at a warehouse anymore. In fact, they seemed to be in a quite heavily populated area. “Is this a fucking apartment building?” Michael asked sharply. He reached over to Gavin’s hand, entwining their fingers. The feeling of the other man there beside him helped to calm Gavin, if only slightly. 

“Yep. After you guys left, we couldn’t stay at our old place, could we?”

Gavin couldn’t tell for sure, but he thought he saw what looked like worry in Michael’s eyes.

————————

Michael’s mind was racing. This wasn’t part of the plan. He was expecting the group to have moved. He wasn’t expecting to have to kill people when there were others around.

One of the men turned to him with a smirk on his face. “Something wrong, Michael?”

Then everything made sense. Michael’s face paled, and his grip on Gavin’s hand tightened. Gavin tried to pull away, but he held on. Gavin looked at him, concern showing on his face. “Michael?”

“How did you know?” He asked quietly, looking to the ground.

“So he’s not as ignorant as Amanda thought. She thought you were stupid - that she was going to have to tell you herself.”

“Tell him what?” Gavin sounded worried, and Michael tried his best to calm himself. He knew that his getting worked up wouldn’t help. If anything, it would just scare Gavin.

“They knew we had a plan,” he said quietly. “And they had one of their own. They were expecting us to try to fight back. But somehow, they knew. And now, we’re pretty much fucked.”

Burnie nodded. “Pretty much,” he said cheerfully, a smile spreading across his face. “And since you were wondering how we knew, I guess I might as well tell you. When we overdosed you with those drugs, we planted a chip in you. We’ve been able to hear you this entire time.”

Gavin’s face went red, and Michael could guess exactly what he was thinking about. “But-” he managed.

“If you’re asking if we heard you fuck, the answer is yes. Luckily for us, there was a mute button. You scarred Joel for life, though.”

Michael couldn’t help but chuckle, and Gavin hit him lightly on the arm. “Sorry, Gav. But you have to admit, it’s pretty funny.”

—————————-

When their arrival was finally announced, Michael and Gavin stood in front of Amanda. She almost looked as if she was appraising them - sizing them up to see what they might be worth. It caused Gavin to shiver.

The men that had brought them there had left for a moment, but returned not long after, gripping Miles hard the arms. He sent a weak smile in their direction. “Hey guys,” he said, forcing a grin. “Fancy seeing you here.”

“Don’t play games with me, Miles,” Amanda snapped, and Miles’ face immediately changed to that of shock.

“You’re terrifying,” he said, then groaned. “I didn’t mean to say that out loud.”

Amanda shook her head, but Gavin thought that he saw a bit of smile tugging at the corners of her lips. “I assume you know why you’re here Gavin?”

“Not really,” he replied. “In all honesty, you’re the one that said I was allowed to leave in the first place. I was just going along with it.”

“We still need information.”

“And I still won’t give it.”

Amanda looked as if she was considering this, furrowing her brow. Then she shrugged. “I have come to the conclusion that threats don’t work well on you. Your best friend is dying, and you won’t even do this to save him.”

Gavin bit his lip, and Michael squeezed his hand encouragingly.

“What about it?”

“You can have one more night with your boyfriend. Only one. Then we kill him. With the gun that he brought.” She beckoned to one of the men, who stepped forwards, handing the gun to her. Gavin’s knees almost gave out, and his head was spinning. He couldn’t think straight. But then Michael was there, helping him to stand upright.

There was anger in his eyes, and next thing Gavin knew, he was yelling. “You know I could just make a big fucking fuss about this, right? I could just fucking scream or some shit, and people would come running.”

“Then we’d just have to kill you sooner.”

—————————

That shut Michael up. Despite the concern that was currently welling up inside of him, Michael was at least glad that they were giving him one more night. He was almost in tears by this point, but there was no way that he was going to let them know that. 

“Then where the fuck can we go to get some damn privacy?” he asked, crossing his arms over his chest. Gavin was able to support himself by this point, but he still clung to him like a wounded puppy.

“You can have the bedroom,” she said, smiling broadly and gesturing towards the door. “Have a good night now. Keep it down though. There are other people here.”

Michael grabbed Gavin by the hand, pulling him along with him and slamming the door loudly behind them. As soon as they entered the room, Gavin had burst into tears. Sobs wracked his body as he sunk to the ground, trying anything and everything to get rid of the emotion. Michael wished that he had never gotten involved with him.

If they had never met, they wouldn’t have gotten attached to each other. Then Gavin wouldn’t be in this situation right now, so stressed about someone that wasn’t even him.

“I told you that you shouldn’t have come,” he sobbed, his body still shaking. Michael knelt down beside him, gathering Gavin in his arms.

“Listen,” he said firmly. “I still think there’s hope.”

“What hope?” Gavin yelled, looking up. “There is no hope! You’re going to die tomorrow, and there’s absolutely nothing I can do to stop it!”

Michael tried to get the other man to look at him, but he refused. He sighed, kissing the top of his head, and letting his mouth linger there, simply burying his face into Gavin’s hair. If he was going to die tomorrow, he was glad that his last moments were with him. 

Suddenly, Gavin looked up, and his face was red from crying. “I’m so selfish,” he choked out.

“What?” Michael exclaimed. He kissed Gavin’s cheeks gently, then his forehead and his nose. He mouthed over every part of Gavin’s face before finally making his way to his lips. “You’re not selfish, Gavin,” he murmured quietly against them. “You’re the most giving person I’ve ever met. You’re emotional, and you make it a good thing.”

—————————

Gavin shook his head. “I am. I’m selfish. I’ve been so worried about what I’m going to do without you that I never even stopped to think that you’re the one that’s losing their life.”

“I’m still not sure I’m going to die. I’m sure as hell not going down without a fight.”

“What do you want, Michael?”

“Hmm? What are you talking about?”

Gavin’s hands made their way to Michael’s hair, pulling him forwards desperately. Unlike in the car, where their kisses had been at least slightly constrained, here they weren’t holding back. When they finally broke apart, Gavin’s eyes were still closed.

“I want you to be happy, Michael.”

“I’m happy just being here with you.”

A smile washed over Gavin’s face, and he opened his eyes, staring into Michael’s. He could tell that the other was at least slightly turned on, but he was happy to know that he would be perfectly content to just relax together, enjoying each other’s company. However, he wasn’t going to be put down that easily. “There has to be something that you’ve wanted to do. Something that we haven’t really gotten around to yet.”

Michael chuckled, and Gavin felt heat rushing to his face. “You seem a bit more eager about this than I do, Gavin.”

“Please, Michael?”

The other hesitated, biting his lip. “I don’t know. This isn’t exactly healthy, is it? Are you sure you’ll be okay? You’re just getting more and more attached to me. I want you be okay after I’m gone.”

“I’m sure,” he replied, pressing his lips to Michael’s once more. “Now what do you want? There has to be something.”

Again, Michael hesitated.

“You’re thinking about something.”

“It’s kind of embarrassing, Gav. And I don’t even know if you’d be comfortable with it.”

“What is it, love?”

“Promise you won’t laugh?”

“Of course.”

“Would you top?”

—————————-

There was an amazingly awkward silence, and Michael covered his face with his hands. Then Gavin’s hands were on his wrists, gently pulling them away.

He raised an eyebrow and bit his lip. “Are you sure? You’ve never mentioned it before.”

“I’ve just been thinking it. You’re really fucking strong and shit.”

Gavin looked to be considering it for a moment, before nodding. “I think I can do that,” he said slowly. “If you’ll be alright”

“Are you fucking kidding me? Of course I’ll be alright. I hope that was a fucking joke.”

“It was,” Gavin assured him. He stared at Michael for a moment. “Do you want to take this to the bed?”

“Fuck yes.”


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last smut chapter in this fic.

Michael threw himself onto the bed, laying down on his back and smirking up at Gavin. “You’re sure you’re okay with this, right?”

“I don’t know,” he replied, following soon afterwards and crawling on top of Michael. “It’s just strange,” he muttered, leaning down to kiss him. “This is all new to me. I’m not even sure I know what to do.”

The other man shook his head, running his hands through Gavin’s hair. He pulled him closer to his body, slipping his hands into Gavin’s back pockets. “You don’t have to if you’re not comfortable,” he whispered. “I just thought it’d be something to try.” He grabbed at Gavin’s ass, causing him to have to bite back a moan.

He kissed Michael again, a bit harder this time. “I want to do it. For you.”

“You sure?”

“I’m sure, Michael, for god’s sake. Just shut up.”

With that, he ground his hips down, and he felt a shudder go through his body at the whimper that escaped Michael’s lips. The other man was generally so loud and mouthy - the idea that he was doing this to him - that he had the ability to shut him up himself - was almost too much to bear.

“God, Gavin,” Michael muttered, hands still in his pockets. He forced Gavin to grind against him a bit harder, and Gavin almost wondered if he was the one dominating. Not that he would mind it.

“Lube’s in the drawer!” They heard Amanda’s shrill voice call from the other room, and for a moment, Gavin was put off. The idea that there were other people just a room away was extremely nerve-wracking to him.

Then he heard Michael grunt in annoyance, and his hands were out of his pockets and in his hair. Michael pulled him down to meet his lips, and Gavin gratefully accepted the distraction. For a moment, his thoughts went to what Michael had said earlier.

Would he be okay after Michael was gone? He didn’t want to think about it. He liked to think that Michael had some amazing plan, something that would save the day. But judging from the way he was acting, it didn’t seem very likely.

————————-

Michael could tell that Gavin’s thoughts were elsewhere, and he tried his very hardest to get him to refocus. He put all the passion that he could into the kiss, licking at Gavin’s lips, almost begging for an entrance.

When Gavin didn’t grant it right away, he whined, gripping the man’s hair a bit harder. He didn’t know why it turned him on so much to have Gavin on top of him, but he figured it had something to do with the fact that it almost made him feel comforted for once. 

His hands were on Gavin’s hips a moment later, hands running underneath the fabric of his shirt and making their way up his back. Scratching lightly, he moaned when Gavin moved his mouth down to Michael’s neck and began to suck and nip at it lightly.

Much as Gavin had been before, he had never really liked being marked. But because it was Gavin, he was perfectly happy to allow it. Then Gavin was pulling his shirt over his head. But when he tried to take off Gavin’s shirt in turn, he simply pulled his hands away, shaking his head.

“Let’s take our time, shall we?”

Michael swallowed, nodding his head quickly. It was a strange sensation, being so exposed and purely at another’s mercy. He liked it a little more than he cared to admit. Then Gavin’s hands were at his hips, running under the fabric of his jeans. Soon they followed, along with his boxers.

He squirmed anxiously as Gavin ran his eyes over his body unashamedly. “I’m you’re boyfriend, Michael,” he teased. “Why are you so nervous?”

Michael recognized the words as being similar to some he had said previously, and he grinned, wrapping his arms around Gavin’s neck and pulling him back down. “Using my own words against me, huh?” he murmured, before locking their lips together and kissing him hard.

“Something like that,” Gavin replied, before reaching his hand between their bodies and wrapping his fingers around Michael’s length. Michael hadn’t been expecting the sudden contact, and he jumped, letting out a strangled moan.

Gavin began to pump him slowly, and Michael didn’t know what to do with himself. So he settled for simply gripping Gavin’s hair once more. “Fuck, Gavin,” he moaned, as he felt himself starting to near a climax. “You can’t fucking do that. I want you to fuck me, not give me a shitty hand job.”

The other man squeezed Michael’s dick a bit harder, continuing to pump him. Michael tried his best to restrain a guttural moan, but it made it’s way out just the same. “Judging by the sounds you’re making, it’s not exactly a shitty hand job,” Gavin murmured into his ear.

“Okay,” Michael admitted in between moans. “But I need you to fuck me. Please. I just want to see what it’s like.”

————————-

Gavin knew that it was coming, but it didn’t stop him from being nervous. He reached over to a table beside the bed, remembering that Amanda had mentioned that there was lube. He retrieved the bottle, making his way back to Michael. The man was lying with his eyes closed, and his hands gripped into the bedsheets as he tried to avoid touching himself.

If he hadn’t been hard already, he certainly would have been after seeing that. He quickly stripped himself, and it looked as if Michael breathed a sigh of relief. As he quickly pressed himself up against the other man, they both moaned at the sensation of grinding against one another. Gavin honestly thought he could come from just that.

However, he quickly remembered what Michael had wanted, and he uncapped the lube, spreading it over his fingers. He leant down to catch Michael’s lips in his own once more, and tried to distract him from the pain that was sure to come.

His finger circled Michael’s hole, and he could feel him clenching. His hands were gripping roughly at Gavin’s shoulders, surely leaving fingernail shaped marks in their wake.

“Fucking get on with it,” he growled.

Gavin complied, and slowly began to press a single digit inside of Michael. His face contorted to that of pain, and Gavin immediately began to apologize. “I’m sorry Michael, does it hurt?” He asked, kissing gently at his neck.

“Of course it fucking hurts,” Michael groaned. “I have your fingers up my ass. I’m not used to that. But I’ll be fine.”

“Do you want me to move?”

“Please.”

So Gavin started to pump his finger in and out of Michael, until the look on his face was no longer pained. Then he slowly began to work another digit into him, and Michael groaned. “Fuck.”

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah. Just get it over with. Add a third. Right now.”

“But Michael-”

“No buts,” Michael snapped. “Just do it.”

Gavin shrugged, and did as Michael had asked, pushing three fingers inside of him and beginning to pump them in and out. He scissored them a bit, trying to properly stretch Michael so that it would be as painless as possible when he actually fucked him. However, when Gavin curled his fingers, Michael moaned loudly. “Fuck me,” he groaned. 

“I’m sorry?” Gavin asked. If he was going to be topping, he might as well have a bit of fun teasing the man. “What was that? I didn’t hear you.”

“Gavin. Stop fucking around and shove your dick up my ass.”

It was impossible to hold back the laugh that came as a response to that, and Gavin kissed him once more. “I love you. You know that?”

Michael licked his lips, and for a moment, he had a faraway look in his eyes. Then he nodded. “I love you too. So fucking much.” There was a long silence, before Michael resumed talking. “Now will you please fuck me? The suspense is killing me, and I’m about ready to come right here and now.”

Pulling his fingers out of Michael, Gavin watched as the man grunted at the lack of something inside of him. “Please fucking hurry,” he muttered, once more twisting his fists into the sheets of the bed.

Gavin spread the remainder of the lube over his own length, before touching his tip to Michael’s hole. He was already impossibly hard - stretching Michael had more of an affect on him than he’d expected. “You’re sure about this?”

“Fucking hell, Gavin,” Michael almost shouted. “Yes. Fuck me. And don’t be fucking gentle about it either. I’m not made of fucking glass.”

—————————

As soon as the words had left Michael’s mouth, Gavin had filled him in one quick thrust. It was so different than anything he had ever experienced before - even different from Gavin’s fingers a few moments before.

A moan escaped him as Gavin began to thrust into him, and he closed his eyes tightly. It was a strange mixture of pain and pleasure, and his brain was swimming with his confusion. He pulled Gavin down into an open mouthed kiss as he continued to pound into him. At one point, he hit a particular spot, which caused Michael to cry out.

“Fuck!” He yelled, not caring who heard them. “Jesus fucking Christ. Right there. Right fucking there. Do that again, I swear -”

He wasn’t even able to finish his thought before Gavin had hit that exact spot again, and he was practically screaming from pleasure. He didn’t see how Gavin could manage to be as quiet as he was - he wanted to yell so loudly that everyone would be able to hear him.

Then he felt the heat pooling in his stomach once more. He had managed to hold it off for a while, but now he was too far gone, and he was coming, without so much as a warning. Gavin hadn’t even touched him.

Gavin grunted loudly as he continued to fuck into him, but it was obvious that he was getting tired. “Can I come inside you?” He asked brokenly, and Michael moaned loudly, nodding his head. He felt Gavin fill him, continuing to fuck him through his own orgasm, despite the fact that Michael had already come down. 

A few moments later they had both finished, and Gavin pulled out, collapsing with his face into the pillow. “Fucking hell, Michael.”

Michael wrapped his arms around Gavin’s shoulders, kissing at spots over his back. “You alright?” He asked. “It didn’t seem like you really wanted to do that.”

Gavin rolled over onto his back, staring at Michael long and hard. Then he grabbed at the back of his neck, pulling him back down into yet another kiss. “Of course I wanted to, Michael. I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t. I’m just really fucking tired.”

He paused for a moment, then started speaking again. “Plus. I’m supposed to be the one asking you if you’re okay. That was your first time bottoming. How was it?”

“Pretty fucking great, actually,” Michael said with a wink. “We’ll have to try that again sometime.”

Gavin’s face fell. “If there is a next time,” he said quietly, his eyes almost drilling holes into Michael.

“Hey,” he said gently, cupping Gavin’s face in his hand and caressing his cheek with his thumb. “It’ll be okay. Alright? Even if I die tomorrow, you have to promise me that you’ll move on. That you’ll forget about me.”

Gavin buried his face in Michael’s chest, reverting back into the Gavin that Michael knew so well. “I won’t be able to forget about you Michael,” he said in a whisper. “You mean too much to me. I’ve felt things about you that I’ve never even dreamt of feeling about someone else. You’re my life, and I don’t know what I’ll do if you leave me.”

Michael couldn’t even find words to say.


	33. Chapter 33

The next morning came far too quickly. Neither Michael nor Gavin had slept at all throughout the night, wanting to have as much time together as they could. They had spent a good deal of time staring into each other’s eyes, allowing themselves to be consumed. When Joel opened the door and saw them, lying naked on the bed, he covered his eyes.

“Fucking hell,” he muttered. “Get some damn clothes on.” He slammed the door behind him as he exited, and Gavin couldn’t stop himself from chuckling slightly. Michael smiled weakly, and Gavin immediately became serious again. He could tell that Michael was taking this a lot harder than he would ever say. Which was to be expected.

Gavin leant over, kissing Michael gently. The other man closed his eyes, releasing a sigh into Gavin’s mouth. They worked their lips against each other, before a loud knock sounded on the door. “Stop making out and get ready, you fucks!” Came Joel’s voice, and Michael pulled away from Gavin with a groan.

He sat up, and it concerned Gavin to see that he wasn’t even yelling at the man, as he normally would. Honestly, he shouldn’t even be feeling this much emotion, and it was slightly concerning. Rubbing his eyes, Michael got to his feet, pulling on his boxers. He proceeded to throw Gavin’s at his face before collapsing back onto the bed, his head falling on Gavin’s stomach.

He grunted from the sudden weight, but began to thread one of his hands through Michael’s hair, trying his very best to comfort him as he pulled on his boxers with the other. “Are you just going to go out there like this?” Gavin whispered as he sat up, Michael’s head falling into his lap.

Michael nodded. “I don’t see why the hell not. If I’m going to fucking die anyways, I might as well go out with everyone knowing I fucked you right before.”

“Actually, I fucked you,” Gavin chuckled, still playing with Michael’s curls, rolling them around his fingers.

“Yeah. I know. Thanks for that. I’m fucking sore as shit. How the hell do you deal with this all the time?”

Gavin shrugged. “Don’t know, really,” he replied. “Maybe I just think that sex with you makes it worth it.” The other man licked his lips, but before he could respond, the door was opening once more. 

This time it was Burnie that stood there, a chuckle escaping his lips. “I think you guys scarred Joel for life,” he said, gesturing for them to get up to follow him. “He’s seen more of you two than he ever wanted to see. He refused to come back.”

Even Michael managed a soft laugh at that. “Well. I’m glad. He fucking deserves it. You all do, to be honest.”

“I don’t really give a fuck either way,” Burnie said. “But you two have to come on now. I know it’s hard to walk right to your death, but it’s going to happen anyways. You might as well have it in your hands.”

——————————-

Michael got to his feet, sighing heavily. The depression had hit him more and more as the night went on, and now it was coming at him full force. He was trying his best to stay strong for Gavin, but it was difficult.

“I’m assuming I have to be there?” Gavin choked out, and Michael could tell that he was trying just as hard as he was to not cry. Burnie only nodded. 

“Yep. Sorry man. Amanda’s request. You have to learn the consequences or some shit.”

Grabbing Gavin’s hand in his own, Michael tugged the other man to his feet, caressing the skin with his thumb. “It’ll be okay Gavin,” he whispered into his ear. “You’ll be fine. I’ll be fine.” 

“You won’t be fine though,” Gavin managed, swallowing hard. “That’s the point. You’ll be dead. You’ll be fucking dead, and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it.”

“At least I won’t feel anything after it’s over,” Michael suggested, trying to help ease the man’s pain. However, judging by the look on Gavin’s face, it hadn’t worked very well. “I’m sorry, Gav. That was really insensitive.”

Gavin shook his head. “I feel like I’m taking your death harder than you are.”

Michael didn’t know how to respond to that, so he was slightly grateful when Burnie spoke up. “Alright, you fucking love birds. Come on.”

Tugging the other man along with him, Michael made his way through the doorway and into the main entry of the apartment. It looked a lot more sinister than it had the night before. Several garbage bags had been split open and were spread over the floor, and a solitary chair sat in the center. Amanda was standing beside the chair, a smirk on her face as she leant up against it. She made some hand motions in Michael’s direction.

“Grab him for me, would you?” She asked. Her tone sounded almost bored, and Michael felt rage starting to leap up inside of him. It was strange, considering that he hadn’t taken it in what seemed like forever. The effects should have worn off by this point. 

“But what about Gavin?” Burnie asked hesitantly. “Aren’t you worried about him?”

Amanda smiled broadly. “No, of course not,” she said. “You won’t cause any trouble. Right Gavin?”

Gavin tightened his grip on Michael’s hand, and Michael could see that his other hand had been forced into a fist. “Why wouldn’t I?” he snapped. “You’re about to kill my fucking boyfriend. I’m pretty sure I have a reason to be pissed off and jumpy.”

“Because,” Amanda said, walking up to him and touching her hand gently to Gavin’s face. Michael immediately stepped in front of Gavin, putting his hands on Amanda’s shoulders and pushing her away.

“Don’t fucking touch him,” he growled threateningly. “Whatever you have to tell him, you can do it with me right here.”

“Ahh. Overprotective boyfriend, I see.”

“I’m not fucking overprotective. You’re about to kill me, and then you fucking touched my boyfriend. I think my response is perfectly socially acceptable.”

“Fine. What I was going to say was this. If you make any sudden movements, we’ll kill Dan. We managed to save him, but we’ll kill him anyways. Hell, I’ll even throw Miles in for good measure. Everyone you care about in this world will be dead, and it’ll be your fault. So I really wouldn’t recommend trying anything.”

—————————-

Gavin felt his body go slightly slack as he heard the words. He had been suspecting as much. As glad as he was to hear that Dan was still alive, it didn’t cheer him up. Before he knew what was happening, Joel and Burnie had grabbed Michael by the arms and were dragging him away. He was kicking and yelling, and his rage was blatant. 

They forced him to sit down in the chair, where he still continued to scream. Burnie clamped a hand over his mouth, causing Michael to struggle that much more. “Shut up, kid,” he growled. “We don’t want to make this any more difficult for your boyfriend to explain, do we?”

Michael’s eyes widened at that, and he stopped struggling, and a look of defeat washed over his face. Gavin wanted to tell him not to stop, but he wasn’t in the mood to say anything. However, when Amanda picked up the gun from the table, turning it over several times in his hands, he couldn’t help himself from speaking up.

“Do - Do I have to see his face?”

A look of betrayal and disappointment washed over Michael’s face. “I wanted your face to be the last thing I saw, Gav,” he whispered, and he looked as if he was going to break into tears. Gavin forced his eyes away from Michael and looked to Amanda, who smiled brightly and walked over to him. 

She turned him around, so that she could make direct eye contact with Michael as she wrapped a hand around the back of his neck, leaning into him. Gavin could hear Michael struggle a bit harder, and he could almost see the anger in his eyes. “Of course not, Gavin,” she said softly. “I know this is difficult for all of us. So if you want to stand behind me, that’s fine. But remember. No funny business.” She winked. Gavin felt like he might throw up.

Gavin turned back to Michael, walking up to him quickly, and kissing him deeply despite Joel’s protests. “Now close your eyes,” he whispered into his ear. “Then I’ll still be the last thing you see.”

Michael choked out a sob, but he nodded, closing his eyes and leaning back into the chair, allowing his body to relax. Gavin held back a sob of his own as he walked behind Michael, staring at Amanda’s back as she lifted the gun to point at the back of Michael’s head.

For a moment, he closed his eyes, simply waiting for the sound of the gunshot that seemed to take a lifetime. However, the more he waited, and the more he thought about it, the worse it began to feel. He was letting his boyfriend be killed, for the mere purpose of maintaining his own conscious. It was pretty fucked up.

He opened his eyes, and he could see Amanda’s finger hovering over the trigger. She wasn’t hesitating, he could tell. Just trying to build the suspense.

“Just do it, already,” Michael finally snapped. “Just kill me.”

Time seemed to go in slow motion as Amanda moved to pull the trigger, but in that moment, Gavin felt emotion leap up inside of him, stronger than he had ever known before. “Don’t,” he shouted, before he could stop himself, and he took a few steps forwards. 

Amanda jumped, turning around quickly and firing the gun in her surprise. Gavin felt the pain shoot through his body as the bullet hit his shoulder, and he shouted in surprise. However, the adrenaline was still pumping through his veins, and a moment later he was right next to Amanda, trying to wrench the gun out of her hands.

She held onto it firmly, trying to take a few steps backwards. She looked at Joel and Burnie. “What the hell do you two think you’re doing?” She screamed. “Stop him! Don’t just stand there!” She fired the gun again, but this time it was pointing at the ceiling and didn’t hit anyone. Burnie and Joel just looked at each other and shrugged, simply keeping their grip on Michael, as he struggled to turn his neck to see what was going on.

A few moments later, Amanda was lying on the ground on her back, blinking several times in surprise. Gavin had the gun in his hands and was pointing it at her, hands trembling.

“You don’t have the guts,” she hissed. “You wouldn’t.”

For a moment, Gavin wondered if she was right. As much wrong as she had done, it was difficult to even think about killing another. At least she wasn’t innocent. He hesitated, wondering if there was another approach. They could lock her up in a prison for the rest of her life, but on what grounds? Gavin’s fingerprints were all over the gun now, and he realized for the first time that the woman was wearing gloves.

“Well? What are you waiting for?”

Swallowing hard, he almost put the weapon down. But then he remembered what she was going to do. How she was going to kill Michael. And then he realized he could at least try to plead self defense. Especially considering that Miles was probably in just the next room, and could vouch for him.

Anger rushed up inside of him, and he put his finger over the trigger. “Listen to me,” he growled. “You deserve this. You’ve done so much wrong, it’s ridiculous. It’s pointless even trying to say that you’re a good person. And as much as I’m probably going to regret this, you threatened my boyfriend.” He paused for a long moment, before saying the final words. “And that’s something you never want to do.”

With that, he pulled the trigger, and the gunshot rang through the room. It seemed much louder than the others, probably because he was the one that had shot it. The gun dropped out of his hands as Amanda went limp, and a sickening silence filled the air.

——————————-

As soon as he heard the gunshot following Gavin’s words, Michael immediately tried that much harder to escape from the men holding on to him. Luckily, their grip had loosened, and he easily yanked his arms out of his grasp. He kicked Joel hard in the stomach, causing him to stumble backwards, coughing.

He turned to Burnie, who put his hands up. “Hey,” he said slowly. “We’re all friends here.”

“Of course we’re not fucking friends!” He snapped. “Friends don’t hold friends down when they’re about to be killed.”

Burnie shrugged. “Listen kid. We didn’t want to be here any more than you did. But now that Amanda’s gone, we don’t have to worry about that anymore. We’re free, just the same as you.”

“I should kill you both right now.”

“Michael,” Gavin said softly. “Let them go.”

“But Gavin-”

“No!” He shouted. Then his tone softened again. “No. You guys can go. Just promise you won’t come after us again.”

“No worries there,” Joel muttered. “I never wanted to come after you two in the first place.”

“If I might ask a question though,” Gavin said slowly, still looking at Amanda’s dead body on the floor in front of him.

“Shoot,” Burnie said, before furrowing his brow. “Sorry. That came out wrong.”

Gavin shrugged, and Michael tried his very hardest to hold back a laugh. “Where are Dan and Miles? Please tell me that they’re actually alive, and that wasn’t just something you were saying.”

Burnie nodded, and gestured to a door on the other side of the room. “Closet. Right there. They’re tied up, blindfolded and gagged. But perfectly alive.”

“Thank you,” Gavin said. “Now if you two would please leave, it would be appreciated.” The two men nodded, and in a matter of moments, they were gone. A silence filled the room, and before Michael even knew what was happening, Gavin was sobbing almost uncontrollably. Michael rushed over to him, wrapping his arms around him tightly.

Gavin fell into his shoulder, his tears soaking his shirt. “It’s alright, Gavin,” he said softly, running one of his hands through his hair and stroking his back with the other. “It’s over. All of it.” Gavin only shook his head frantically, and cried harder.

“I killed a person, Michael,” he said between sobs. “It feels so horrible. How could anyone ever do this? This makes me just as bad as her.”

“Listen to me,” Michael said firmly, grabbing him by the jaw and looking directly into his eyes. Gavin calmed slightly at the eye contact, and Michael smiled. “You’re fine. I know it’s probably not a fun thing to experience. But you have to understand that what you did was for the greater good. Okay?”

“It’s still hard, Michael,” he muttered softly, still working through tears. “You don’t know what it feels like. It’s like this hole has been drilled into my heart. I know what she was going to do was worse. But it doesn’t change the fact that I killed her.”

Michael pulled Gavin a little closer to his body, tightening his grip around him. In that moment, Michael truly knew what sadness was. He felt so sorry for Gavin, more so than he ever had in his life. “I know. But you have to understand that it’s all going to be okay,” he murmured, his own eyes starting to feel slightly wet.

He buried his face in Gavin’s own shoulder. “This is really fucking weird,” he said. “I’ve never felt like this before. Not even when I’m on emotion. It should have worn off by now anyways. It feels like a fucking wall has been broken down or some shit. And I think that it has something to do with you.”

—————————

Gavin sucked in a sharp breath at the other’s words. He had been thinking the same thing for longer than he had even known, and he nodded frantically. “I know what you mean,” he said, pulling back slightly. The very thought that Michael felt the same way as he did helped to cheer him up a bit, though the darkness of his actions still lingered in his heart. “I’ve been feeling the same way.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Gavin said, knitting his eyebrows together. “It is weird. Like, really weird. I haven’t taken anything in what seems like forever, but I’m still feeling everything completely clearly. Maybe even more clearly than I was before.” There was a long silence, then Gavin jumped away from Michael.

“Something wrong?”  
“We forgot about Dan and Miles,” he exclaimed, rushing towards the door that Burnie had pointed out. He flung the door open, and the two men sat on the floor, exactly as they had been told they would be found. 

Quickly, he ripped their gags and blindfolds off, and they both gasped at the sudden brightness that overtook their eyes.

“Sorry,” Gavin muttered, looking down at the ground. “I guess I was just a little excited.” He could feel Michael standing behind him, a supportive hand on his shoulder. He was glad that he was there to help him through this. Without him, he wasn’t sure how he would have even tried to proceed.

Out of nowhere, a sharp pain made it’s way through his body, and he groaned loudly, a hand flying to his shoulder.

“Fuck. Gavin, are you okay?” Michael asked, immediately withdrawing his hand. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”  
Gavin shook his head, a pained look overtaking his face. “No,” he managed. “It wasn’t you. I guess the adrenaline just wore off.”

“What?”

“Got shot,” he said. “Didn’t you notice?”

Michael pulled him to his feet, and Gavin cringed. “Sorry, he muttered, spinning him around. “Oh my fucking god. Gavin! Come on, man. How didn’t you fucking notice that?”

“I definitely noticed.” He cringed. “It just didn’t hurt until now.” A concerned look washed over Michael’s face as he stared into Gavin’s eyes, but before he could say anything more, Dan cut in.

“Sorry to interrupt a romantic moment here, but do you think you guys could fucking untie us before you make out?”

———————————

A year later, Michael and Gavin were still together. You don’t exactly go through something like that with someone, then simply let them go. Gavin’s arm hadn’t been injured as badly as they had originally thought - the bullet hadn’t actually made it’s way into bone, just deeply skimmed the surface.

Gavin was learning to deal with the guilt of killing someone, but nothing had ended too badly. As Miles was a cop, and he had also been kidnapped, it was easy enough to say that it was clearly out of self defense. Which, in all honesty, was true. It was mentioned to the court that a couple of men had escaped, but it wasn’t mentioned they had let them go.

A couple of days after the entire experience, Gavin had moved in with Michael, realizing that he literally couldn’t live without him, even if it was only for a couple of hours. The same had went for Michael. Dan was still the same awkward third wheel he always had been, and would come around for drinks from time to time, leaving when Michael and Gavin would get a little too touchy.

As a side note, neither Michael nor Gavin had taken any drugs in that year’s time either. It was strange at first, feeling things without taking them. But eventually, they grew used to it, and knew better than to question it.

However, one day, the two were sitting on the couch in Michael’s apartment watching television, their feet propped up on the coffee table in front of them, Michael’s arm around Gavin’s shoulder.

“Michael?” He said softly, his eyes still focused on the movie playing in front of him.

“Huh?” Michael turned to him, his eyes curious. “You seem hesitant. Are you alright?”

Gavin swallowed heavily, nodding his head. “Yeah. I think so. I just wanted to ask you about something.”

“What’s that?”

“Do you ever wonder why we don’t have to take drugs anymore? To feel things, I mean.”

Michael chuckled softly, playing with the hair on the nape of Gavin’s neck, then turned his face to look at him. “Not really,” he said. “Do you?”

“Sometimes.” There was a silence. “How can you not be curious?”

“Because I know why it is. I thought you would have figured it out by now.” Gavin raised an eyebrow in his direction, and Michael smiled.

“Why?”

“Hmm?” he teased, leaning over to attach their lips together. The kiss was gentle, and Gavin could see the care and love in the other man’s eyes. He complied, allowing their lips to move together softly before moving away.

“Seriously, Michael,” he said. “Tell me? Why do you think it is that we don’t have to take drugs. Not that I’m complaining. I sure as hell don’t want to go through that again. I was only taking them because I was addicted. Nothing more, nothing less.”

Michael sighed a bit, kissing him once again. “You really don’t know?”

“No.”

Michael smiled. “Then I’m glad that I’m the one to tell you.”

“Michael, please get on with it.”

“It’s because,” he said slowly, touching their lips together once more. “You’re my drug. I’m addicted to you.”

Gavin furrowed his brow, allowing Michael to scatter tiny kisses all over his face - his cheeks, his forehead, his chin - every bit of his skin heated under Michael’s breath, and when the other finally pulled away, they were both smiling.

“So you’re saying that we’re addicted to each other?”

Michael shrugged. “I only know what’s true for me, Gav. You’ve got your own feelings, I’ve got mine. I know that I’m addicted to you. Maybe you’re not the same.”

Gavin thought about that for a minute, then he shook his head. He felt his lips starting to form into a smile once more. “No,” he said slowly. “I think you’re right.” There was a long silence, then he chuckled. “You, Michael Jones,” he said, kissing the corners of his mouth. “Are my drug. And I am completely and utterly addicted.”


End file.
